Page 187 of Possession

Then there’s the unprotected sex.

So much sex.

I fall to the bed we shared last night and bury my face in a pillow. When I press my hand over my tummy, I know there’s no chance he’ll be back.

He won’t want his children to share genes with an Alba.

I can’t blame him.

Tears overcome me, and my body wracks with sobs.

Just yesterday I was planning the rest of my life as Landyn Cruz.

Today, I’m paralyzed by the thoughts of life without him.

* * *

I must’ve criedmyself to sleep.

My eyes are swollen, my sinuses are clogged, and my heart is shattered.

A click of the lock turns, and my broken heart seizes. I freeze. I’m not proud of myself, but I’m a coward. I can’t look at him. If he’s here to get his things and leave for New York without me, I’ll pretend to be asleep.

I’ll fall part later when I’m alone, like any self-respecting, obsessed woman who will be forever heartbroken.

The familiar sound of keys and a gun clank lightly on wood across the room. I try to even my breaths, but it’s impossible.

There’s rustling. A whiff of material sounds before hitting the carpet.

Then the bed dips behind me right before his warm hand sneaks up my shirt and splays itself on my tummy.

His lips brush my temple, and his voice is as exhausted as I feel. “I know you’re awake, chica.”

My eyes open to the dark room shadowed only by the lights peeking through the closed curtains. I hate that his touch brings me to tears yet again.

Dammit.

I think anything would bring me to tears right now.

But he’s back, and he didn’t just grab his things and leave. At least there’s that. “Where did you go?”

It’s his turn to tense. He wraps me up tighter, and I realize he stripped down to nothing. I wish I were naked, too, just to feel his skin against mine. “Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to, baby.”

I grab his wrist to loosen his arm and roll to face him. Framing his jaw in my hands, I take him in.

His expression is raw.

His dark eyes are exhausted.

But not like spending hours at the gym exhausted.

Emotionally exhausted … like he could sleep for a hundred years and his soul would never recuperate.

I tell him the truth. “I want to know everything. I’ll always want to know everything. Where did you go?”

“I went to the shore—where I took you for tacos and beer after the funeral. I needed a minute. I needed to process what you told me. After all this time, I didn’t think about how I’d feel when I found out who really killed Brian. I was too set on finding the truth. I knew what I wanted to do to them. Hell, I planned it out for years. I wanted more than anything to deliver justice in my own way.”

“I don’t blame you. I want to kill my father, too, and not for what he did to me. He can rot in jail for that. In some twisted way, him using me as payment for his debt brought me to you. At least, it’s how I’ve rationalized everything that I’ve been through. But that isn’t the case. We’re here because my father killed your brother. There’s no way to rationalize that.”

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