Page 5 of Heir Of Sun And Moon
Sometimes, when my sadness and hopelessness are too much to bear, I like to imagine I’m watching a form of myself who is happy. It’s something I’ve learned to do to cope with the overwhelming loneliness. I’ll see myself standing in a field of wildflowers, my head tilting back as the sun warms my face. My long hair flows freely and my green eyes sparkle with life. I’ll watch as my toes grip lush grass and my fingertips delicately graze white and yellow petals. With a few slow and calculated breaths, I pretend I’m calm and carefree, just like that vision I’ve dreamed up. And when my eyes meet Alexi’s, when the worry starts to ease from his face, I know I’ve done a convincing job.
He raises an eyebrow, waiting for confirmation that I heard him. A forced exasperated sigh leaves my mouth as I even out my features further, willing myself to feel nothing and placing a mask over my face. It’s the mask of a woman pretending she isn’t locked in a tower, tortured by her uncle and left alone to rot.
“Yes,dad,I heard you.” The sarcasm is thick enough to distract him from looking too deeply at me, but I hope the soft smile I give him lets him know that I’m not using the title as a joke. He’s the closest thing to a father I’ve ever had. We stare at each other for a single moment, one of us with a genuine look of happiness and the other trying with everything in her power to make it ten more seconds before falling apart. Finally, clearing his throat as he stands, Alexi lets go of my hand.
“Bella, make sure she stays out of trouble,” he says with a wink to the fox. She yawns in response and lays her head back down on her paws. I follow him to the door, grabbing the box from where it was left on the floor. He steps out onto the stone platform that leads to the spiral stairs of the tower and turns, reaching out as I hand it to him. “I meant what I said. We will figure something out. I promise.” His word choice is careful, making sure he doesn’t accidentally invoke his blood oath.
It takes every muscle in my face to force a smile, but as soon as he heads towards the stairs and I close the door behind him, the act drops. I count to ten in my head to give Alexi time to get far enough away. The crushing weight of misery settles over my body. It starts with a single tear, its warmth rolling over my cheek and dripping onto the floor. More tears join that one until I don’t even notice them anymore. Bella whines, her wet nose nudging my hand, but I’m too lost in the tsunami of my sorrow and fear to stop. Each crest of the wave is a force that pushes me deeper into the depths of my despair.
Crest.Sadness.
Crest.Anguish.
Crest.Alone.
Alone. Alone. Alone.
Everything hurts, and I just want it to stop. I drop to my knees, pain searing up my legs and back, but I don’t care. I don’t even care that Bella is frantic now, nosing at my legs to get me to notice her. I just want it to stop.
I—
I just wantmeto stop.
Lowering fully to the ground, I lay on my side and hug my knees into my chest. Cold and dark exhaustion bleeds into the edges of my body. Unable to fight the allure of sleep any longer, my eyes start to flutter shut. Briefly, I watch Bella as she stands frozen, only her head swinging side to side as her wide eyes take in something beyond my vision. Darkness and shadows wrap around me until I am finally—blissfully—numb.
The sun is nearly set, the sky aflame in orange and pink, by the time I open my eyes again. My tongue is thick as it sticks to the roof of my mouth. The cold of the wood floor feels good against my pounding head, but even if I wanted to, I can’t move. My body is exhausted and heavy, like a lead weight sinking into the ground.
The tickling of fur against my legs lets me know that Bella is here with me. Forcing all my strength into my right arm, I uncurl it and slowly reach back until I feel the whiskers on her nose. She moves, coming to stand right in front of me as she lifts one of her front paws up before putting it back down again. She does this over and over until I understand she is trying to get me to sit up. I don’t want to, content to lay here in my misery until I fade away forever, but Bella is insistent. So, with a deep breath, I slowly slide my hands up by my shoulders, my palms pushing into the creaking wood floors. My head swirls as I come up to sit, the throbbing there only outdone by the heavy beats of my heart.
“Now what?” I whisper to her. Bella steps forward, sorrow and sympathy reflecting in her acutely expressive eyes. She brings the top of her head to my chest, and instinctively, I wrap my arms around her massive body, hugging her tightly as I cry—shocked that I still have tears left to shed.
Time moves slowly, how I imagine it feels to wade through waist-high mud, though I’ve never actually felt mud before. What a silly thing to realize. When the sun is gone from the sky and the moon casts its light into the room, I finally stand up. Bella stays by my side as I head upstairs cautiously, the cold metal of each step shocking the soles of my feet. Dizziness partially obscures my vision, my head pounding to the beat of my heart.
Crawling onto the bed, I don’t even bother getting under the comforter as I lay on my side. I prefer the cold and the way it cradles me, desensitizing me enough to rest. Tucking an arm under my head, my eyes close with a tormented sigh. Bella joins me, her body curling in front of mine.
“The moon may have the stars, but at least I have you,” I whisper, my free arm wrapping around her as I force myself back to sleep.
Chapter Three: Rhea
Asmalljasmineflowerfloats on the water, the ripples of my movements in the tub sending it twirling delicately across my body. I awoke this morning feeling a bit better, though still somehow exhausted. The sun has already crested over the horizon, brightening and warming up the interior of my tower through the windows and balcony doors.
Examining my body this morning in my vanity mirror before my bath, there were no bruises or marks from where I fell to my knees yesterday after Alexi left. Any body aches or head pain I had was gone as well. A bone deep tiredness that bled from my broken heart and soul was the only thing that lingered. The water in the stone tub starts to cool, my sign that it is time to get out. Sighing, I stand up carefully and grab a clean towel from the basket by the sink.
My bathroom layout, like much of the tower, is simple: a gray stone sink and small counter in between the tub and a toilet. Whoever built this tower was fond of the color gray—or maybe they just wanted to ensure that whoever was here felt constricted all the time. I wrap the fluffy cotton around me and walk to a small wooden trunk near the foot of my bed in the loft. Drawing the top back, I spot my favorite dress. The fabric is light pink with small purple flowers dotting it from top to bottom. Pink ribbon trims the neckline, which scoops low, showing just the top of my cleavage, though it didn’t always fit that way.
After dressing and detangling my damp hair, I take the steps down to the main floor to make something to eat for Bella and I. Setting Bella’s plate of dried meat on the floor for her, I add some nuts and an apple to my own before heading towards the library. My steps are halted when I spot the potted arastera plant in the corner. The leaves that, I swear, just yesterday morning were a vibrant dark green are now withered completely into shriveled brown husks. When my fingers pinch a dried-out leaf, it pulls off easily, crumbling in my hand. Brows furrowed, I try to remember the last time I watered the plant. It couldn’t have been longer than last week judging by how the soil still looks dark and not dried out… but perhaps I’m wrong.
I give it one last glance over before stepping into the library. Setting the plate down on the teal bench of the window seat, I scan the many books lining the walls of the room, trying to choose which one would be the best distraction. Bella walks in, tail wagging as she looks around the room too, like she’s also trying to choose.
“Which book should we read, Bells? You pick,” I offer, taking a bite of the apple.
She doesn’t hesitate to start searching for a book, scanning them as if she’s actually reading the titles, before stopping in front of one in particular. Her wet nose leaves a little mark on its dark-colored spine. Chuckling, I move to see the choice she’s made. Sliding the black book from the tightly packed shelf, I flip it over to read the cover, the silver foiling of the title reflecting the daylight.The History Of The Five Realms. I lower the book and look at her.
“Really?” I ask, raising a brow. Bella turns and trots over to the bench, stepping up and taking a seat on her hind legs. Her head tilts to the side, the mortal movement making me smile.
I’ve read many books on the realms that surround us, my favorites among them the ones that detail the beings who dwell in each. Unfortunately, I know this book in particular is very dry. Today I was hoping for lighter subject material. Narrowing my eyes at her, we engage in a staring contest… which I promptly lose.
“Fine,” I concede, walking back to her and taking my own seat. “Although if I’m being honest, I would much rather read a book about how a princess seduces a muscular and handsome knight.” Bella huffs and then lays down fully, her front paws dangling off of the bench.
