Page 15 of Resistant

His gaze holds pleasure and shock. I feel his fingers tremble and he releases me.

I gag a little as he removes the belt from my wrists.

Clink, clink, clink.

He tucks himself into his pants, zips up, and walks out.

I run to the bathroom, rinsing my mouth with water and gargle to get his taste out of my mouth. The tears come unbidden. I hiccup and resist the panic attack I feel lurking.

It’s over now.

I shuffle to the back door and see his vehicle in my drive. The phone screen lights his face for a moment before I’m blinded by his headlights. He backs out and drives away. My phone pings in my bedroom. Trepidation spreads through my heart.

What will I do if it’s not enough to feed us? How many appointments can I withstand?

I decide I should just rip of the band aid and check my phone. He paid me 650 credits with a 5-star rating. A message is attached to the payment that says, “Thanks for the good time, Knox.”

Conflicting emotions roll through me, I am appalled and overjoyed at the same time. If this continues, I can keep him as my client and suck his dick once a month and we would be okay.

Oh, how things have changed, Brynn. I can’t believe this is my life.

I knock on Nathan’s door and tell him good night.

“You okay Mama?”

“I’m fine, honey. Go to sleep.”

I am revolted with myself. I want to crawl out of my skin and be reborn, with new rosy skin that has not ever been touched by Knox. I feel a weight lift from my shoulders, something I have not felt since Wyatt left. Tomorrow, I will go to the grocery store and buy food. The boys and I will have a mini feast. For the first time in weeks, I sleep the whole night through.

The weeks pass with little change. Men enter my bedroom at night. Some want sex, others want to role-play or pretend, and I do it all. I enter a place where no one can touch me. They touch the shell of my body, but Brynn is not there.

None of these men are remarkable in any way, except for Knox. He exudes power and I do my best to ignore his charisma and presence.

Much to my own humiliation, I am getting good ratings and extra bonuses. I’ve stopped reading the comments and reviews. At first, I perused them quickly. From what I read, most of them were fairly lewd in regard to my performance. I’m not interested in feedback as long as I get paid well.

For whatever reason, these men have earned rewards or favors through their daily work and are allowed the opportunity to set up a profile in the Mercantile.

Every night, after the men leave, I tell my sons goodnight. Usually, only Nathan is awake, waiting to make sure I’m okay. Some nights I lie awake for a long time, allowing myself to feel the shame roll over me. I know I have betrayed my husband. I frequently concede to myself that I’m slowly exterminating the woman I was, bit by bit.

Knox continues to book recurring appointments once a week, and he asks for the same services, no variations.

I’m surprised when I get a notification from my provider that my ranking has skipped up a few ranks and that my credit hourly rate will be increased. He also explains that my clients would be morerefinedin this ranking. He congratulates me on my prowess and explains that I can pick from wealthy, elite clients in the future.

My Provider asks if I want to keep anyone from my current client list. I tell him to keep Knox, well, I give him Knox’s client number. I’m not supposed to know his name.

The rest of them could fuck off for all I care. He laughs at this, like I’m a comedian. I wish he was here in person so I can punch him in the teeth.

Knox shows for his next appointment. Instead of waiting for me to fight him, he sits down on my bed. This makes me nervous because he never sits down. He always stands at the end of my bed, and I’m concerned that his deviation from the norm means that he’s not happy. He’s a dangerous man, and I don’t know what to expect from him if the routine is broken.Is he angry? Will he take his anger out on me?The possibility of getting hurt is always at the forefront of my mind.

“Why did you keep me on your client list?”

I stare at him dumbfounded for a minute. I expected him to yell at me for something or be an asshole. He’s does asshole well. I shake my head to clear it and decide to tell him the truth.

“You pay well, and I know what to expect from you. There are boundaries, and you’ve never varied from that. I feel like we have an understanding of expectations and limits.”

He nods his head but doesn’t say anything. My curiosity peaks and I break his silence.

“Why do you come here every week? Surely you don’t need me.”

---