Page 5 of Facing the Pain

“I have made some decisions and I want to let all of you know at one time,” I get out as I heard two more bikes enter the yard. I know one was Quinton but the other one I couldn’t seem to place.

“That’s Quinton and Duke that just drove up outside. We’ll get washed up. It’s alright to talk in front of Duke, he’s family. He just transferred from his dad’s club. He’s going to finish up his prospecting with us.” I shook my head in agreement with Dad. I remembered the name Duke from cookouts from the past. I just didn’t remember him or his family. We had a huge family, especially if more than one chapter was gathered.

I waited until everyone had their plates and were seated. I made everyone a glass of iced sweet tea. The introduction was made of Duke to me and me to Duke. He held my hand a little too long, and I grabbed it back. For some reason, Duke’s name sounded familiar. Dad had spoken of him before or about his family anyway. Dad’s eyebrow went up to Duke.

I took my seat. I waited until everyone had their plates fixed. “This food is damn good. Not only sexy but a great cook. What other hidden talents do you have, Charlie?” Dad looked straight at Duke, but I had heard enough.

“Duke, I think the women you’re used to hanging around might fall for all the attention you give to them, but I buried my fiancé that I happened to be very much in love with yesterday. What I’m saying is that you’re wasting whatever charm you are trying to lay on me.” Duke turned his head to the side and smiled at me.

“Challenge accepted. A woman with loyalty, I like it. I’ll give you time, but one day you will be mine.” I looked at Dad.

“Duke, sit your ass down and shut up. Charlie is in no mood to hear your bullshit. Charlie is off-limits to any brother, and that goes double for prospects. Are you hearing me, Duke?” Dad used his president’s voice.

“Yes, sir, but one day Charlie will be mine. I’m just letting my intentions be known.” I just shook my head.

“Why aren’t you eating, Charlie?” I looked at Quinton.

“I’m just not hungry right now. Maybe later,” I answered. I knew they were worried about me. “I’m too excited about what I have to tell all of you.” Quinton nodded his head at me letting me know he heard me, but he doesn’t believe a word I said. I gave him a reassuring smile. Everyone was eating, so I decided it was time. “The decisions I made last night were about that piece of land that connects with this land. If you don’t mind, Dad, will you oversee it for me? I’m keeping the twenty acres that Jake and I were buying, but I am going to be away for a while, and I need someone to watch and take care of it for me. I also want to keep Jake’s truck here.” Dad looked at me like I had grown an extra head.

“What do you mean you’re going to be gone a while? Where do you think you’re going?” I waited a few minutes, and I saw everyone at the table didn’t like this idea any more than Dad did. I took a deep breath.

“I’ve decided I’m going to go into the Army to honor Jake. He went in the Army because he thought he could provide us with a better life, and I am doing the same thing to honor Jake’s memory. I’ll finish what Jake started. It’s what I need to do and I’m not changing my mind. Dad, you can make me wait until I’m eighteen or you can respect my wishes and sign the papers for me to go in at the age of seventeen after I graduate. Please, think about it for me.” I knew this would be a hard decision for Dad.

“I have four strapping sons and not a one was interested in the military. I held my breath every time one of them approached the age of eighteen. I knew I would be proud of any of them that took that road, but as a dad, my heart would clench. Now, my daughter wants to go and join, and I am proud of you for that decision, but I need to say, imagining you getting shot at is my worst nightmare. The thought of it makes me want to puke.” Dad had tears in his eyes, and I wanted to take them away. He stiffened his back and sat up straight. “Charlie, if this is what you need to do, I won’t stand in your way, but you better come home to me safe.”

I got up from my chair and walked to Dad. I sat in his lap and held him tight. “I’ll come home, Dad, and then I’ll be whole again.” I hoped I was telling the truth.

“No, you can’t let her go. It’s crazy, and she isn’t thinking straight right now. My baby sister is not putting herself in danger!” Tobie yelled. I got up and walked to Tobie. He stood up and squeezed me to him. He kissed the top of my head.

“You know I can take care of myself. I promise to do that, and I will come home to you all. I won’t leave with my family mad at me and without your support, but I won’t ever be the same if I stay here,” I whispered to Tobie.

“I want to argue with you on this, Charlie. The thought of someone firing a gun at you and one of us not being able to rescue you is one of my worst nightmares. I’m holding you to what you said, Sister. If this is something you are driven to do, I can’t argue with that. If you don’t do it, then you won’t be the same sister I have loved every day of your life. I think you may need this to heal. You better be back here to be the lovable pain in my ass, or I will make you regret it,” Tobie whispered back. I saw the fear in his eyes, and I hated it. My family feared nothing or no one. I wouldn’t make him regret his trust in me.

“I’ll still be waiting on you, beautiful, even if you do become a badass.” That made us all laugh. I couldn’t let that slip by me though.

“You do that, Duke, and hold your breath while you’re doing it.” I laughed. I looked at Rance and he winked at me. Quinton was the one I worried about. We were tight. Quinton stood and raised his tea glass.

“To Charlie, the little sister with balls of brass. We salute you. We’re all proud of you. Keep your head and ass down. Make us proud and be safe. We love you, darlin’.” I was pleasantly surprised.

“Here, here,” Yance yelled.

“Thank you all. I couldn’t do this without all of your support.” I was crying, and I didn’t know why. I thought I was cried out. I got myself together and sat back down in my chair. “I talked to Ms. May yesterday and tried to talk her into taking half of Jake’s insurance money and his inheritance his grandfather set up. She says she won’t accept it. That it was for me to start a new life and she wanted to make sure I did. It will take a while to get it, but I want it to go into a savings account with your name on it, Dad, and mine. I don’t know how much it will be but if you need it while I’m away, then use it. Whatever is mine is yours or if any of my brothers need it. I am going to have my pay go into the same account.”

“It’ll be there when you get back, Charlie,” Dad assured me. We were all family except Duke and all anyone of them would have to do was ask, and I would give them what they needed. That was the last day that we talked about my enlisting. I finished high school, and I had the military-age waver ready when I graduated. I wouldn’t let anyone give me a going away party or to be there when I left except my dad and brothers. That was hard enough. I got on the plane at four in the morning—I don’t know why so early—and I started another chapter in my life. It seemed like I was always saying goodbye.

Chapter Six

CHARLIE

Military Life

What can I say, it was no picnic. I learned a lot of new tactics to use in hand-to-hand combat, and I learned to use a rifle more proficiently. I also found out there was more to throwing a hand grenade than they showed in the movies, especially for women. I also learned that I needed to sleep when I could and there was such a thing as a power nap. I learned to spit shine boots, keep my brass clean, make a bed to bounce a quarter from, and how to press a uniform so it looked sharp. The things I brought with me that helped were determination and persistence. I knew how to multi-task, and I knew how to follow directions. The last one kept me out of trouble.

I took basic on like it was the biggest challenge of my life, and to that date it was. I succeeded. Dad and my brothers came for my graduation. I hated to see them leave, but I had more training to do. I found I learned foreign languages easily. My training was as a translator/interpreter in the languages that I mastered. I had taken Spanish in high school and I was able to master Arabic, Hebrew, Kurdish, Persian, Turkish, German, Korean and Chinese while enlisted. It’s like my brain had a knack for remembering the different dialects and languages. I was now working on Russian and Japanese, but they were still a work in progress. My 09L MOS could be valuable when I went back to civilian life. The army tested me for this position, and I met all qualifications. I took the classes I needed and was certified. I also took a medic class. I was field trained and certified.

For the next three years I was a field translator for a lot of different units. There was a downsize of the troop numbers in the sandbox and since my job was in high demand, I was sent to other units nearby. I had plenty of acquaintances but no close friends since I moved around so much. I didn’t go home for leave after the first year. It was too hard on everyone concerned when I had to leave again. I donated my leave for bereavement emergency leaves for soldiers. I wasn’t going to use the days so someone else may as well use them.

During my time, I had seen my share of gunfire, but I always came out on the safe side. There were some that were injured and some that would never make it home again.

---