Page 121 of Kept

I can’t close my eyes, the thoughts tumbling inside my head far too turbulent for that.

It’s late, late enough that I should have been asleep by now. Giving up on that idea, I sit up in a huff. My eyes slide to the open door.

Maybe a walk would help.

I debate just going to the main door, but Maverick might still be awake. He’s been working late every night, trying to dig up any information he can on Ethan, and where he might be hiding.

My throat tightens. I’m not sure I want them to find him.

I’m not sure I’m ready for what might happen if they do.

This time, at least, I take a moment to pull a thick sweater over my head. I slide my feet into sneakers, carefully tying the laces the way Ryder taught me, looping the bunny ears and tying them into a knot.

It’s harder than I thought to descend the wooden slats with shoes on, and I choke as my foot slips, nearly sending me tumbling to the ground. My shoulders slump in relief when I finally land with a thump on the hard ground.

The golden reds of autumn have faded, leaving wilted leaves and bare branches in their place. The moon overhead is bright enough to see by, and I make my way down the same path as before, lost in my own thoughts.

It’s hard to reconcile a lifetime of memories with the knowledge I now hold. I had four years of life,reallife, with a mother and father who loved me, before I was ripped away and placed in that apartment. And I don’t remember any of it.

All I remember are white walls, silent sculptures, and Ethan.

“Why did you do it?” I ask out loud. Only the wind answers me, a whistle that lifts my hair. The trees creak and crack in the breeze. It has no answers for me.

And I think that’s what I’m struggling with the most. I might never get those answers.

Sighing. I turn back for the house. Twigs crunch beneath my feet, and there’s a crack ahead of me. I glance up, in case a branch has broken.

“Zella.”

Frowning, I squint. A dark, bulky shadow leans against a tree ahead of me.

“Ryder?” I call. Maybe he followed me again.

I tug at my sweater. “At least I’ve got clothes on this time,” I say playfully.

But there’s silence. The hairs on the back of my neck prickle, and my feet slow. “Enzo?”

The figure splits from the tree, and I take a step back as it moves closer. The light from the moon crosses the shadow’s face, and my heart stops in my chest.

“Ethan?” I breathe. I blink, just to make sure I’m not imagining him.

Because why would he behere?

He pauses a few feet away from me, his hands out in front of him. This man is a far cry from the Ethan I know. He looks filthy, his hair dark and matted, and his usually spotless clothes are worn and crumpled.

I take a step back, and his jaw tightens. “Zella. I just want to talk.”

My head whips from side to side. Ethan is blocking the path back to the house, and I suddenly regret my impulsiveness. Mavericktoldme. Told me not to leave without one of them, and now I’m here.

And they’re not.

Heaviness settles in my stomach, icy cold washing over my skin.

I shake my head.

“You shouldn’t be here,” I breathe. He takes another step, and I back away. “You need to leave.”

“Zella.” His face creases with pain. “I didn’t mean… I don’t want to scare you.”

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