Page 15 of Scandal

Back in our room, things are somber. The mood is heavy. There are unspoken words between us. Hell, there are unspoken words in my own mind. Places I won’t let myself go. Things I’m trying hard not to think about.

Cam sits back on his bed with a sigh and I get a washcloth wet to dab at his mouth. “I should be tending to your eyebrow,” he argues weakly.

“In a minute.” I continue the gentle pats at his lip until the little spot of blood is cleared.

Reaching out, he grabs my arm and pulls me down next to him on the bed. So much rainbow, but it’s soft and comfortable. Been a while since I had sheets and a pillow. Probably since my second-to-last foster home. That’s the last time I can remember having bedding. It’s optional, but sure is nice when you have it.

He snatches the rag and folds it over to the clean spot before he dabs my brow. I can now fully smell the beer on his breath.

“How much did you have to drink?” I question a little harshly. Not loving the idea of him out there intoxicated. Makes him more vulnerable to assholes like Zack.

“Enough,” he hums, and tosses the rag toward his desk where it lands with a thud. There is a lot of silence then. The sound of Cam’s breath rising and falling fills my ears. It’s heavy.

“Enough for what?” I ask in a teasing tone. Shouldn’t ask this, but I do. May need to catch a meeting of Assholes Anonymous at this rate.

“Put your arm around me?” he says the words like a question, but he nestles under my arm without waiting for an answer. It falls heavy on his shoulders. Instinctively, I tuck him into my side. He feels good tucked there. Sturdy, but delicate at the same time.

My heart rises into my throat, and I have to swallow the lump that forms. My free hand tugs at my shorts to give me a little more room. It’s getting a little tight for space.

“Are you into guys?” Cam practically sings the question. His voice is so melodic. So irreproachable. So genuine and curious.

I stall with a long breath. “I didn’t think I was.”

“And now?” he presses.

Cameron

I can’t believe I’m pushing the question. What do I even want him to say? That he’s madly in love with me? I mean, maybe. That’s stupid, because we still barely know each other. It’s just me projecting my insecurity, I’m sure. That no one wants me. That the one guy I find so appealing has zero interest.Why can’t he be interested in me?

“And now...” he parrots. “Now, I’m not so sure anymore.”

“Anyone in mind?” I’m just plain fishing now. Blatant. I don’t care.

Xander chuckles. Shifting on the bed, he slides a hand down my jaw, holding it between his fingers. Our eyes are locked. “If I was stable enough to have a crush...”

It’d be you. It’d be you!I fill in the words for him in my mind. He doesn’t say them. I don’t have the confidence to fully believe them either.

“You seem stable to me,” I say instead.

Xan laughs again. This time it’s a dark laugh. “It’s been a few months.”

“Since what?”

His lips are sealed as he releases a heavy exhale. “I can’t believe you don’t know already. People love to talk about it.”

“Since what?” I repeat.

“Since I last manipulated someone. Since I last used someone for entertainment. Since I almost killed that girl.”

My body tenses. “You wouldn’t kill someone,” I protest.

“I didn’t try to kill anyone, no. It was a poorly thought-out prank. I didn’t think she’d go through with it. So no, I didn’t try to kill anyone. I just promised Jordan Phillips that I’d hack her social media and make a video go viral. She paid me for the pleasure. We came up with the idea together. That she’d drop the girl at the top of the pyramid. I didn’t think Haley would end up in a coma. And that’s not the only incident, just the most recent.”

At those words, I settle back into the crook of his arm.

He leans away from me in response, looking at me with a serious expression. “Are you as twisted as me or something? I mean, who voluntarily cuddles after hearing something like that?”

“I’m not twisted. It’s just obvious to me you’ve changed. From whatever you used to do. Whoever you used to be. You’re not perfect. No one is. But it feels like you want to be better. That’s good enough for me.”

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