Page 121 of King of Knights

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“Do not allowyour emotions to get the best of you. You’ve come too far, waited too long, to fail in your mission now,” the bishop says to me when he is done restoring my strength.

I look to the lifeless young woman. Her once healthy and vibrant body is now emaciated. She looks as if her soul has been sucked out.

I close my eyes. It is always hard to see them like this. I’ve never been able to shut out the immediate guilt.

It is for the cause.

I remind myself what she’s sacrificed her life for and nod at my thoughts. This will soon be over. I won’t have to find another. Not again.

“I will not fail you. I have no emotions,” I reply.

Return

I’ve been walking around numb for the last three days. I keep playing in my head over and over again what happened, trying to see what I could have done differently. If only I would have released the arrow a few seconds earlier.

“Have you eaten?” Billy asks as she comes to sit with me in the dining room.

I look up and glance at her in confusion. It dawns on me what she’s saying. I shake my head.

I had actually come down here to get a bite to eat, but I sat down and forgot what I came here for. I haven’t been eating as much. Kendrick has started to bring me food to the room.

He sits with me while he makes sure I eat. Today, he had someplace to be. Knowing I needed to feed this baby, I decided to come down and find something to eat. Yet here I sit, lost in thought.

“No,” I reply to her question.

“Here… take this sandwich. Listen, Ray. I get that he raised you and all, but Candido wasn’t a good guy. This was going to happen sooner or later,” she says.

“You’re right, he raised me. He took care of me. I was supposed to take care of him. I failed.”

“Ray, the man set you up,” she growls.

“I don’t want to talk about it. Where’s Lee Ann?”

“Preparing for the ceremony.”

“I thought we had to wait for Taylor and Bradan.”

“They’re arriving today. Any moment now.”

As soon as she says that, Aravos appears with Bradan in his arms. Taylor is beside them, looking nervous. I jump up and rush over to them. Billy is right beside me.

“Is he okay?” I rush out.

“I needed to get him back here as soon as I could. He’s still not healing. I don’t know what to do. I’ve been changing the dressing, but that’s not enough.”

“I will take him to the infirmary. The healers will work on him there,” Aravos says.

“I’m coming with you,” Taylor says and rushes after Aravos.

“Are you good? I want to see if I can help,” Billy says.

I nod. “Yeah, I’m fine, go on.”

Knowing I don’t have it in me to be any help, I decide not to follow them. If things go south, I’m going to lose my mind. It’s better I don’t go.

I watch as they disappear. Then I go to grab the sandwich to take it with me. I want to find Lee Ann and see what she’s up to.

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