I even love fighting with him – which we do a decent amount of. He’s possessive, and I can feel the parts of him underneath the surface that he warned me about. He’ll get too drunk, or too high, or too anxious, and it’s like another person is in the room with us. Someone I don’t recognize, someone selfish and scared. But at the end of the day, he’s back to being the Hayden I’ve fallen in love with.
He’s beautiful, carved from the darkest marble that shreds your skin when you touch it. He’s wild and unreadable on the outside, but tender and sweet under the privacy of my sheets. He’s everything you want to avoid in a relationship, but everything you’re looking for.
He’s smoke and fire and pain – and the Band-Aid you need to hold yourself together.
The last few months of my life have been a rollercoaster – a mess of fucking and fighting and freeing the parts of me that I buried long ago.
I thought I was smarter than this. I thought I was stable enough, strong enough, capable enough not to fall for him, but I fucking love him with my entire heart. He’s become my best friend, my soul and my family. I’ve shut everyone else out, apart from weekly visits to my parents, I don’t spend my time with anyone besides Hayden. It’s hard not to let our love consume me since it’s so big and wide, it covers every inch of my world. I accept his darkest parts and he accepts mine.
He’s the light at the end of the tunnel and the darkness that shuts me in.
We’ve kept our relationship a secret from everyone. I haven’t met his friends or family and he hasn’t met mine. And that’s the way we like it. It’s our dirty little secret.
He’s my peace and serenity in the hardest moments, and my biggest weakness and frustration in the best. We’ve managed to go out in public a few times without being seen, and those nights are the best. It’s the risk – it’s the chance that someone from school might see us, might walk up on us and figure out our secret. It’s the running around, the hiding in shadows with fear clawing at our insides when we’re ripping into each other.
It's exhilarating.
We’re celebrating our second month together, since we decided to take the risk and be together, by going back to where it all began – Amethyst.
It’s Saturday night and I’m in my apartment alone, a short dress on my body, waiting for his instruction. He’s in charge, no matter how strongly my attitude and disobedience takes over, he’s always the one that’s in control at the end of the day, and I know him well enough to know heneedsthat. He needs me submissive, and willing to bend to his will, allowing him to hold the reins.
And I fucking hate how much I love it.
I love that he calls me his girl, that he owns my soul and body, that he has no qualms in grabbing my hair and taking what he wants from me.
Because I want to give it to him – whatever he wants.
He’s the king, and I’m his queen.
We fit together – our crazy matches. I’m possessive alongside him, the gasoline to his fire, the ink under his skin, the blood in his veins.
He is mine, and I am his.
* * *
Biting my nail,I flip my phone over in my hand for the tenth time – waiting. Waiting for Hayden to text me and tell me what our plan is for tonight.
Will we slither through the shadows like snakes, hiding from all eyes until we find our private place to be together? Or will we risk it, blending into the crowd to let excitement and fear pump straight into our bloodstreams?
When my phone buzzes, I stand up on my 4-inch heels and walk to the front door as I read the message.
HJM:
Meet me there, spitfire. Come and find me.
My core clenches, and my stomach fills with butterflies.
I grab my purse and keys, and practically run out the door, heading for my car.
Even though Amethyst is only a few minutes away, I don’t want to waste any more time by walking. I’m desperate to get to my man.
After a minute, I’m parking in a parallel spot on the side of Main behind Hayden’s Maserati and turning off the engine. Flashing my ID to the bouncer at the door, I give him a smile and head inside, my gaze searching the room for anyone I might recognize.
I shuffle through the crowd slowly, my senses on high alert for Hayden. I can feel him watching me, but I can’t see him. It turns my insides to liquid, and my chest starts rising and falling more rapidly as I move.
The club is full from wall to wall, making it feel hot and sticky. I do my best not to bump into anyone, but the ground isn’t even, and my heels are so high that I end up at least grazing every person I walk past. I’m muttering “I’m sorry” with every step until I reach the bar, and I can finally take a deep breath and relax.
Turning so my back is against the bar, I look out at the sea of people, searching.