Page 140 of The Hallows Queen

“Alright, everyone, we have one chip to hand out tonight.” He holds his hand towards the crowd where Hayden is sitting. “Hayden? Do you want to say anything?”

Hayden stands, his hands sliding into the front pocket of his jeans as he walks up to the podium, then he turns and faces the crowd. I slide down in my seat, not wanting him to see me just yet because I don’t want to ruin the meeting for him. I still want him to be able to speak freely like he needs.

“Hi, I’m Hayden, and I’m an addict.” His lips press together, and he looks down at his hands as everyone in the room says “hi” back to him.

His gaze stays on his hands as he begins talking again. “Today, I’m three years sober and I’m still making amends. You know, when I first joined the program four and a half years ago, I thought it would be a quicker process.” He chuckles, shaking his head slightly. “But this journey doesn’t ever end, and getting this chip doesn’t mean that I’ve reached any sort of finish line, it just shows me that I was strong enough to stick to it.” He pauses for a second, and I can see as his expression changes, a different emotion settles over him.

“My dad died recently, and I had to come back to this town, and it’s been so fucking hard that I couldn’t even begin to put it into words. I’ve had to face the mistakes I made before I was clean, the ones I avoided by staying across the country for four years, but I’m glad that I’m here. I’m sad that it took my father’s passing to make me realize I needed to be back here, that avoiding Luxington wasn’t solving anything. I was just using the distance as a Band-Aid that covered everything I was feeling.” He takes a breath. “See, there’s this woman who got caught up in my mistakes, and I treated her really badly all those years ago.”

He chokes on the words, his throat swelling with emotion. When he’s taken another breath, he starts to talk again. “I thought maybe I loved her because of the drugs, that she was just another part of my destructive streak, because the way we met and the relationship we had was so far from normal, I couldn’t even begin to explain it. There was part of me that thought I was holding on to the memory of her to keep the dead parts of me alive, but now I know.” He clears his throat. “Now that I’m back here, and I’ve seen her again,I know.”

My chest burns with anxiety as I watch him, then his head lifts and he looks out at the group. “She’s my soulmate.”

Tears stream down my cheeks, and I wipe them away.

The leader of the meeting hands Hayden a chip and shakes his hand, and he stares at it. “So, this chip isn’t just for me – it’s for her too. Because without her, I probably would have fallen off the wagon again when my dad died, but the reminder of her kept me going. And every chip after this, I’ll thank her for as well, even if I never see her again.”

When Hayden has returned to his seat, I stand up and run from the room. I don’t stop running until I’m outside, then I fall against the doors and cry.

Chapter49

Hayden

I feelon top of the world as I flip my three-year sober chip over in my hand –three fucking years sober.It doesn’t feel real, it doesn’t feel like it should belong to me.

Me and a couple of the other members share a cup of bad coffee at the back of the conference room in the church and exchange contact information, then I send a picture of me with my chip to my sponsor in California and Logan.

A few of the guys at the meeting ask me for advice, and I do my best to give them my wisest answers, even though I feel like I’m still brand new at this. I think maybe it’ll always feel like that for me, like I’ll always be a beginner at sobriety.

When everyone breaks apart, I say thank you to the meeting leader, then walk outside to head back to the hotel. I’m thinking about going to the pool to do laps when I get to my rental car and notice Penelope standing against it.

I stop walking about ten feet away. “What are you doing here?”

Her green eyes find mine, and she brushes aside the hair that’s fallen into her face because of the wind. “Logan sent me.”

“What? You talked to Logan?”

“Yeah.” She chuckles. “Well, she talked. I didn’t say much.”

I take a step toward her. “And she told you to come here? What else did she say?”

Penelope shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter, but I need you to know that I heard her, and I’m here.”

My hands shake so I stuff them into my pockets as I move closer. “I don’t know what that means. Were you in that meeting?”

“Yeah.” She sniffles, tears filling her eyes. “And I heard you, too, H.”

A chill runs down my spine. “Please stop talking in riddles.”

She takes a breath, then stands up straight and crosses the small distance between us so she can put her hands on my face. “You’re my soulmate, too.”

“What?” I whisper in disbelief, my voice cracking with emotion.

She doesn’t say anything else, just leans forward and captures my lips with hers, kissing me hard enough that I almost lose my balance. Pulling my hands from my pockets, I wrap them around her waist and hold her against me, molding our bodies together while we kiss.

The wind blows her hair into my face, so I slide my hands through it and tangle the dark strands in my fingers. She moans against my tongue, and my blood speeds through my veins. Pulling back, I kiss her lips once more, then sigh in pleasure.

Her gaze finds mine, and I’m in awe. “I’m ready to take the leap, Hayden. It’s worth the risk.”

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