Page 39 of The Hallows Queen

Fucking molly. Get out of my head.

When I’ve set the machine up to brew, and a tear has fallen down my cheek, I head for the bathroom. Turning on the water the hottest it will go, I strip out of my clothes, leaving them in a pile on the floor, then step under the spray. I hiss when the burning stream hits my skin, but I keep myself under it, wanting the warmth to revive and massage my aching muscles.

Closing my eyes, I tip my head back and let the water rain over my face, washing last night’s makeup from my skin.

There’s a bubble of nerves in my gut, and Hayden’s name is stamped on it. I feel infatuated, and the reminder that I woke up alone feels wrong. After last night, I should have been rolling over, straddling him, and enjoying some morning sex.

I smooth my hands over my face, brushing the water from my eyes, before I grab my shampoo and lather my matted hair. My muscles are starting to feel good, and the nausea has lessened, but my head is still pounding. Going through my routine of showering, I zone out, replaying last night on a loop.

Hayden, his big hands in my hair, around my throat, in between my legs.

I find myself pressing my thighs together, my teeth biting down on my lip as my breathing speeds up. I want more –Ineed more.

I need to get him out of my head, even just for today, because I have to focus on impressing Barbara Justice. I have to go in there, my first day, and prove I’m worth the risk they took on me.

As I finish up my shower, I decide to leave the toxic parts of me at home, the parts that do drugs and fuck tattooed guys in pools, and be my professional self.

I dress in black slacks and a tan blouse, go make a cup of coffee with extra sugar, then stand in front of the mirror and do my makeup.

I’m spraying setting spray on my face when my phone goes off on the counter next to me.

Hayden:

lets smoke a ton of weed and lie on the beach

A smile pulls up my lips, but the reminder of responsibility has me locking my phone without responding. If I make plans to see him tonight, I’ll be thinking about it all day.

I moved here to focus on two things: family and my career, and already, I’m forming a connection with someone who I’m making bad decisions with. Best to just let it fizzle out. God knows I don’t need to be catching feelings for some fuckboy with tons of money and a taste for drugs.

* * *

My first daywith Barbara Justice goes as expected.

Painful.

Most of the day, I was silent, listening to her plans for the school year, nodding my head like a good little girl, not giving her my opinion if it varied from her own. I feel emotionally and mentally drained, plus my cheeks ache from having to force myself to smile all day long.

She has a heavy lesson plan for the year, though. The nerd inside me is excited.

She’s passionate about teaching, but jaded from being put through the wringer by high school students for three decades. I can’t imagine some of the shit she’s seen, especially in Luxington. Kids are entitled here; I’ll be the first to admit that. It was tough adjusting when I moved here, because I was so used to fighting and scraping my way through a life of foster care and poverty.

This is a rich town. Kids who get credit cards for their tenth birthdays and think they’re better than everyone else. I’m sure teaching here is a challenge. But it’s a challenge I’m ready to face. I’m more excited than ever for this next chapter of my life.

The sun is setting as I pull into the parking garage of my building, and I’m aching to walk down to the beach and get my feet sandy.

I almost don’t believe I’ve been back in town for a week and I haven’t gone to the beach yet. I’m anxious for it.

When I’ve gotten upstairs and closed myself in my apartment, I strip out of my clothes and throw on a bathing suit, then toss a loose dress over it before twisting my hair into a bun and sliding some sandals on my feet.

It’ll take me maybe ten minutes to walk to the beach, and with the way the sky is melting into oranges and pinks, there’s nothing I’d rather do. I grab my purse, toss my phone in, and lock up before I take the stairs down to the street.

It’s a breezy night, making my shoulder prick with goosebumps, but it’s still warm enough that I’ll be able to jump in the ocean for a little while. Growing up, my parents always called me crazy for swimming in the Atlantic at night, because it turns into a wavy pit of darkness, and you never know what you’re going to step on – but I fucking loved it. I loved the openness, the thought that maybe I wasn’t alone out there, but would never really know.

The beach was always my quiet place, the place I could go to clear my head and reset my mood.

When I got older and went to high school, it became the place we would party or camp out.

It’s always there, it’salwaysbeen there. Even when I had no one and nothing, I had the beach.

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