Page 111 of The Hallows Queen

“Not the last. You guys will be back in no time,” Levi says, smiling softly at each of us.

“And you guys will fly out for games and stuff, right?” Carson asks, cutting into his food. “I get tickets for each game for friends and family.”

“You know we’ll be there whenever we can be,” I say, meeting his eyes. Through everything, Carson has been the most supportive brother to me, and there’s nothing that would stop me from repaying the favor. This is my family, and it feels weird that half of us are going to be gone for most of the year now.

“How are things going working for your dad, Hayden?” Logan asks, eyes curious. “Is he being nice?”

I chuckle. “He stepped back, so he’s basically in retirement. I don’t know what’s going on with him. It’s like after everything that happened senior year, a little heart grew in his hollow chest. We rarely talk, though he’s putting a lot of trust in me. I guess I’m alright at investing other people’s money.”

“Well, you’ve been spending your dad’s money for so long, I guess you got good at it.” Carson laughs.

I roll my eyes, laughing. “Yeah, well.”

“So, no chance for him to fuck you up even more now that he’s stepped aside?” Logan pushes, forever the worrier.

I give her a look. “He moved back to Luxington, actually.”

“Wow,” she says. “So who’s running New York?”

“I am.” I take a sip of my water. “Remotely for now while I get the L.A. office up and running, then I’ll go back and forth.”

“Do you guys miss Luxington sometimes?” Levi asks, changing the subject. “Feels weird we haven’t been home in so long.”

Logan and Carson both shake their heads, but it’s Carson who speaks. “Nah, since our parents moved, there’s not really a reason to go back.”

I sit silently, hating the way my gut twists when I think about Luxington, the town that made me and broke me all at once. My friends have gone back to visit — they went and stayed on the beach for spring break last year — but I haven’t been back since I moved to California I see no reason to – there’s nothing left for me there.

Nightmares still wake me up most nights, and they’re always of the dark time in my life when I lived in Luxington.

After my first stay in rehab, I started seeing a therapist twice a week, as well as a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with bipolar disorder paired with minor post-traumatic stress disorder from watching my mom die. It was hard to adjust to being labeled. I felt like I was walking around with a post-it note on my forehead that had all my secrets written on it. But therapy helped – that and meds – and eventually, I learned how to control the urges inside of me.

They say that not every case of bipolar is the same, and it was hard to understand that my doctors had to spend time picking apart my past to understand how to treat me, but after four years, I’m finally in a stable place that I’m proud of.

I’m also 100% sober.

Drugs and alcohol were doing nothing but triggering depression more, and I learned that there are safer crutches to lean on in times of need.

“Hayden?” Logan says, pulling me from my thoughts. “What about you? Do you miss NC?”

I look around the table at each of my friends. “Why would I miss it when the only good parts of my life there moved away with me?”

“Not what your Instagram search history says,” Levi mutters, putting his beer to his lips.

I shoot daggers at him. “Stop going through my phone.”

They all laugh, and Levi puts his bottle down. “I was using your phone to creep on that hot assistant of yours. I didn’t want to tip off the algorithm or HR or something.”

“Please, no fucking our employees, Levi,” I grumble. “I’m busy enough as it is. Don’t make me fire you.”

Levi waves me off and rolls his eyes. “Sure,boss.”

Carson laughs. “You two workingandliving together is a terrible idea.”

I smile like a shithead. “He worksforme,we don’t worktogether.”

“God, you’re a piece of shit.” Levi laughs, making me laugh too.

Logan puts her elbows on the table and looks at me. “Back to the search history. You still thinking about her?”