Page 84 of Sin With Me

We didn’t make sense—he was all dark, and I was all light, but when we came together it was explosive.

I don’t realize I’ve stopped in front of his door until my hand wraps around the cool doorknob, grounding me in this moment. It feels wrong opening it, like I’m breaking the seal on a forgotten tomb.

But I can’t stop myself from shoving the door open and stepping inside.

Apparently, I’m a masochist.

It’s dark, and cold, and everything is exactly as he left it. The bed still unmade, books scattered on the floor. The cushions on his window seat messed up, because he never straightened them after he got up. He just…left them.

Like he leaves everything—everyone.

A mess.

I flip the light on, bathing the room in a golden glow that almost burns my eyes more than the tears building in them.

I haven’t been in here in four years.

It was a Friday, the day Mama died. I’ll never forget that because while I was cheering on Roman at his football game, she was bleeding out, alone. I don’t remember much of the next day, but I do remember the one after.

In the pitch black hours of the morning before her funeral, I fell apart. But my stepbrother put me back together again. He was kind and loving, making promises I swore he’d keep. He held my hand throughout the day, protecting me, ensuring I was okay. Giving me the comfort I so desperately needed.

Then he took it all and ran in the dead of the night like a thief. Like a coward.

Those were the worst days of my life, but I can’t help thinking about them. Maybe I could’ve done something differently. If I would’ve stayed home instead of going to the football game, I could’ve been there for Mama.

But I never missed a game. Even when Ro was a total dick to me, I still always cheered him on. I always wanted him to look up at the seats and find someone rooting for him.

They played beautifully that night. Better than ever. Roman was a natural, that’s what everyone said. But that night, he was a god. I’d never seen anyone play like that. Chase was great too, of course, but there was just something about Roman.

And then we stopped for ice cream, just like we always did after they won. Chase made sure everyone was going to drink plenty of water and eat their veggies the next day, and Oli promised him she would, even though we could see through the lie. Roman just rolled his eyes when I’d made my promise, knowing I was serious.

He shook his head and slung his arm around my shoulders, a rare display of affection. I’d leaned into him, into his warmth and safety as Chase drove through town, soaking up Ro’s affection and attention like a sunflower starved of sunlight.

That’s how much I craved him. Needed him.

God, I had no idea how badly I needed him.

Not until my world fell apart.

It was a normal night. A better than normal night. It was one of the best nights of my life. I’d always been nothing but the quiet preacher’s daughter, the football star’s nerdy stepsister.

I spent years watching him with girls, flirting, touching, kissing. They came and went like his bedroom door was a revolving one. I watched and I smiled, all the while ignoring the way my heart cried for him with every beat.

I just wanted Ro. His attention. His affection.

I wanted him to look at me the way he looked at random girls. I wanted to feel his arm around my shoulder like I was his girl.

And that night, I had it.

In the backseat of Chase’s car, I had his attention. I had his arm. His laughs and smiles. His eyes fixed on me like he finally saw me.

I’d never felt so hopeful before in my life, but that night, with him, the windows down and music blaring, I knew he was mine. I knew there was no way we could ever go back to the way things were before.

That night he shifted my world.

There was a moment. A moment when everything disappeared around us. The music in the car went silent, taking Chase and Oli’s bickering along with it. The air grew static and my body turned to lava. Roman had leaned in, clutching my body to his like he could feel the world shifting too.

But then, we pulled up to the house and I saw the first ambulance, before a second. The cop cars. Isaac frantically running his hands through his hair.

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