Page 196 of Sin With Me

I may hate her right now. May despise every choice she’s made, every decision that’s led her life down the path she’s taking, but I can’t not be near her. I don’t know why. It makes no sense.

Being around Eve is like standing too close to the sun.

It burns and aches, melting my skin away until I’m nothing but a painful shell of myself. It’s like my nerve-endings are too exposed, too raw. Every moment with her twists something inside me, mangling the softer parts of our past with the brutal anger and hurt we’re both drowning in now.

And for the first time in years, I don’t know where I stand with her.

When we first met, I knew what she wanted. Knew how badly she wanted me to let her in. She tried so fucking hard to shove her way between my cracks, forcing me to see her. And when I finally did, I couldn’t not love her. I couldn’t not want to be with her every second possible. The more time I spent loving Eve, the more I started to be able to stand myself.

But then, she chose Isaac over me.

She chose Divinity over us.

And I—

I chose her.

Even when I left, I kept choosing her. I loved her from up close and then I loved her from far away, even while I hated her. But now, I’d do anything for just a day, one single day, where I don’t love and crave Evelyn Jean Meyer with every beat of my blackened, toxic heart.

“It’s in the fucking name,” Kon snaps, shaking me from my thoughts. My head jerks up, finding him and Chase in an angry stare down. Kon’s knuckles are white as he grips his utensils like he’s ready to drive the knife straight through my best friend's eye.

And Chase…

I do a double take when I look at him. My lip lifts in a slow grin. Chase looks like he’s ready to fuck the anger right out of my boss. Like seriously fuck him, right here, right now. I think the only thing missing is a puddle of drool under his sharp jaw.

“It’s. Part. Of. The. Aesthetic!” He punctuates each word with a pointed shove to Kon’s barrel chest. “Eat the food.”

“What’s part of the aesthetic?” I ask, picking up a piece of something that looks fried and popping it into my mouth.

“Fox and Hen,” Kon grunts, never taking his eyes from Chase. “Why would they name it that and then not serve meat? It makes no sense.”

I shrug, my brows furrowed as the thing melts on my tongue, leaving behind a gritty texture. I didn’t even get to chew it. “It’s a hipster thing.”

“Do I look like a fucking hippy to you?” he snarls, shoving Chase away. “Fine. I’ll eat the food but you owe me a burger.”

I nod, picking up a leaf to munch on. It tastes like dirt, but if we have to clear our plates to be able to leave, I’ll fucking choke it back the same way I choke back my words around my father. Easy. “You owe me one, too. And fries.”

Chase sighs. “It’s like force-feeding babies, I swear to God.”

I shoot him a look. “Some people would consider that abuse.”

He spoons some green goo into his mouth with a happy hum that makes me want to puke. “Those people didn’t raise Oli. Getting her to eat as a baby was like pulling teeth from a rabid rottweiler.”

“Speaking of Oli,” I drawl, still irritated over the shit-show the other night. “You need to control your sister better, Chase. She’s lo–” I stop myself just before saying losing it. I swallow roughly. “She’s looking for the Loch Ness monster in Barry’s. I’m worried she might drown.”

He huffs, moving on from the now empty green dish to something I think might be salad. It’s hard to tell with the weird brown bits on top. He takes a heaping forkful, clearing the plate in one bite. His eyes roll to the back of his head as he moans.

“Fuck, I love Fakeun.”

Annnd I’m done.

I drop my utensils and shove everything away except the spicy water which is surprisingly growing on me. It’s so carbonated, I can almost convince myself it’s beer.

“And I know all about Nessy.” I shoot him a questioning look. “Please tell me you’ll look after the thing ‘till we figure out the pool situation. I don’t want another dead animal catastrophe like the pet store. I can’t keep sending them all to California. It’s costing me too much.”

Kon’s mouth drops open. “But they died,” he points out. “You didn’t actually send the mice to California.”

“Obviously,” Chase mutters. “But it cost me thousands to replace everything for Mr. McTavish and an extra grand to keep him from telling Oli what really happened. The old bat is surprisingly mouthy.”

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