“You of all people know why it hurts. How much it hurts.”
It wasn’t like I’d fucked around behind her back, but I did know why she was upset. “I tried to tell myself this was different, and I’m sorry.”
A breeze chased down the shadowed alley, and goosebumps raised on her arms. It would be warm later, but right now the morning chill hung in the air.
I shrugged out of my hoodie and draped it over her torso. The jacket was too big, and she looked adorable. The one thing that would make the sight better would be her smile.
“You’re still planning on leaving.” Alys didn’t slide her arms into the sleeves, but she did twist the hoodie so it draped over her more like a cape.
“Yes,” I said.
“If I hadn’t overheard, would you have told me—us? Or would you have slipped out in the middle of the night with a note? With no note?”
‘I was going to tell you.”
“When?”
“As soon as I grew a bigger pair of balls.”
She twisted her mouth, as if trying to hide her amusement. “Not a great answer.”
“The truth.” It was about time I got back to that. “Is this it? Are you and I done?”
Alys sighed. “Part of me says we should be. It’s a lie, but it’s not the same as… him.”
“I wasn’t fucking your friend.”
“You were, but I was there for that, and it’s not what we’re talking about.”
That was almost a joke, which meant she wasn’t as upset as before.
“What now?” I hated the idea of walking away without a resolution.
“We’re not better, but I can’t”—she bit her bottom lip—“I can’t ask you to put your life on hold for me. If this is a good opportunity for you… We’re grown adults and you should go where the chances are.” A thread of pain ran through her words. “I hate the idea of you leaving, but I get it.”
This didn’t hurt as much as her being mad at me, but her resignation stung.
What did I expect? “I still want to spend the next week and a half with you.”
“We’ll keep doing the contest, and wrap it up.” Alys shrugged out of my jacket and handed it back.
Not quite the answer I was looking for. “I’ll see you when you’re done working today?”
“Probably not.” She took a step back. “I’m going to do some work on Xander’s project this afternoon. Might head up to Ravyn’s to check out her art if she calls.”
So you’re going to work yourself into numbness, instead of-- It wasn’t my place to say anything about how she did her job. “All right.”
Alys didn’t so much turn away as fade into the shadows, before the door to Aubrey’s closed behind her.
I walked down the street to my shop, to make sure everything was in order before I opened, and maybe make a dent in the inventory count I’d been putting off for ages.
When I stepped inside, my gaze was instantly drawn to the picture above the register of Plaid Peanut Butter. Maddox made me take the photo in December, when they played at RinCon. Our biggest show ever. He’d been so happy. Alys was grinning too, as they stood with Reese and Danny. The photo radiated the energy from that night.
And the memory settled in my gut like a stone. The feeling didn’t lift when I looked away. Partly because the two closest pictures were more favorites—Maddox with Corey Taylor and Alys with Dave Grohl.
The three of us would always have those memories, regardless of what came next. I needed to stop being mopey.
I turned my attention to inventory, but even the albums reminded me of them. The dozen limited edition vinyl copies of Metallica’s black album that Alys said wouldn’t sell and Maddox insisted would. I sided with Maddox and the things were still taking up space on my shelves.