Page 70 of Love in the Dark

We’re sitting in our living room, eating popcorn, and watchingLove Island. Like true fans, we’re dissecting every relationship on the show and whether the boys have good intentions or not.

“Look at you getting all wistful,” Thayer says, teasing her. “Those period hormones really have you all emosh.”

“You try keeping up with Rogue’s mood swings and then tell me if you don’t feel like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster,” she answers, flicking a hair tie on her wrist at Thayer’s head. “He’s impossible to read.”

“As someone who’s known Rogue a long time and has been witness to his international reign of terror since childhood, I’m telling you this is different. He’s never been like this,” Six says, jumping in.

“Yeah, but is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

Six gives Bellamy a hopeful look. “I’m wishing for good.”

After a very rocky start, Rogue and Bellamy have recently evolved from sworn enemies to enemies with benefits. All of Rogue’s emotional maturity in romantic relationships equates to about the size of a single grain of rice, so Bellamy is going through it.

She decided to spend the night with us tonight for some much needed girl time.

I pick at the popcorn in my bowl. I’ve already had two full bowls and I’m resisting a third. There’s the familiar pulsing in my head and I know that means the voice isn’t far behind. It’s currently muffled but only minutes from breaking through.

It’s fine, it’s just popcorn.

I worked out for three hours today.

You ate that protein bar.

The voice punches through into my consciousness with the ferocity of a white man voicing his opinion.

Coach Krav is going to weigh you. If you’re heavier, who knows what the punishment will be. Dad will come and Mum will remind you how disappointed in you she is.

Toxic thoughts swirl in my head as nervous energy thrums in my veins. I pick at the skin around my nails to try to bury the voice by focusing my attention on something else.

“Nera?” Bellamy asks, her voice questioning.

“Sorry?” I say, snapping out of my spiral with a breathy laugh. “I zoned out for a sec there.”

“I was just asking you what your thoughts were on the Rogue thing.”

Internally, I give a relieved sigh. This is a safe topic, one I’m happy to discuss.

“I think I’m hard pressed to find another example of a guy more obsessed with a girl than he is with you, babe.”

She blushes happily and looks down at her phone, but I can see she’s still thinking about it by the way her forehead creases.

“Except maybe Rhys,” I add, teasingly.

“Don’t even go there, Nera,” Thayer says, grumpily.

“Or, now that I’m on the subject, Phoenix.”

“Obsessed with putting me in an early grave, maybe,” Six replies, dryly.

“Don’t think we haven’t noticed you texting someone lately, Nera. Before you try denying it, please know you have a smile on your face every time you do,” Bellamy says, raising a brow in my direction.

“I smile when I text a lot of people,” I say defensively.

“Not really and notthatsmile.”

“Our little Nerita’s got a secret man,” Thayer teases.

Six laughs in the background but gives me a look that saysyou’re on your own.

---