Page 36 of Pay for Your Lies

The kind of person you need to guard your heart around otherwise he’ll take it, play with it, and casually discard it once he’s had his fill.

He’d suggested as much earlier.

As is, I shouldn’t even be letting him occupy this many of my thoughts.

Fortify those defenses, Thayer.

Honestly, it feels like I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster tonight and I don’t have it in me to get on for another ride, so I decide to avoid Rhys for the rest of the evening.

I go off in search of Bellamy, but she’s still MIA. Rogue isn’t here either, so I assume he’s off somewhere corrupting my best friend.

Nera and Six are playing King’s Cup with a few of our other friends, so I join them. We play only a couple of games before I grow bored and restless.

There’s a voice inside my head that I’ve locked in a tiny room, but it’s pounding against the door, threatening to break it down if it isn’t heard.

It’s a voice that carries a stupid, selfish thought that has no business being in my brain, but I grow more agitated with each second I don’t let myself acknowledge it. Why didn’t he come looking for me?

Even when we bicker like we have tonight, he usually always finds his way back to me.

It’s been over an hour since I last saw him and all I can think about, all I’m consumed by, is what did he mean when he said I wouldn’t like what I found if I went looking for him?

Now that I’ve let the thought free, I can’t shove it back in its box. Like gravity, he pulls me back into his orbit without even trying.

“Hey, I’m going to get another drink. Do you want something?” I ask the girls.

“I’m good.”

“Same.”

“Alright, I’ll be right back.”

I head back towards the kitchen, also the last place I saw Rhys, and come to an abrupt halt in the doorway as I take in the scene before me.

Rhys’ large frame stands out in the sea of people and my eyes immediately go to him.

He’s leaning against the counter, his arms casually crossed as he brings the drink in his hand to his mouth and takes a sip.

He doesn't take his eyes off the girl he’s talking to as he does so, not for a second. Her hand is on his arm and his gaze bores into her like she’s telling him the most interesting thing he's ever heard.

Something tugs at my chest as I watch him watch her.

It downright rips when I see him smile at her.

He bends his head and for a moment I think I’m going to have to watch him kiss her, but she gets on her tiptoes and whispers something in his ear instead.

I’m unsure what to do with myself.

I have no claim over him, nor do I have a clear understanding of why it bothers me to see him talking to someone else. But I do know that she shouldn’t be touching him.

I don’t have time to consider it further because he looks up and our stares connect.

He holds my gaze just long enough to let me know he’s seen me, and then he looks away, back down to the blonde dangling off his arm, dismissing me.

He gives her one of his signature devastating smiles and now I know he’s putting on a show for me.

He wants me to react.

I’d like to say I’m strong enough to resist the obvious provocation, but my legs have me halfway across the room before I can even attempt to talk myself out of it.

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