Page 129 of Carnage

I pull away and wrap my arms around myself, bowing my head. “If you do this, it’ll get him in trouble.” I lift my watery eyes to his, hoping I can get through to him.

He frowns. “Saint loves you, Ashtyn. He would do anything…”

“I know.” Sniff. “That’s the problem.”

His eyes search mine before he lets out a long breath and runs a hand down his face. “What do you want me to do?”

“I need a doctor.” I have to know. What if Laura somehow made the test have a positive result? I don’t put that past her to try and scare me. I need more tests done. Blood work? Ultrasound? Something that can confirm it other than her.

“I’ll call Devin…”

“No.” I shake my head. “Someone else. Someone…not here.” Devin is devoted to the Spade brothers, not me. I need someone on my side.

“Gavin.” He nods to himself, pulling out his cell. “I’ll call Gavin.”

I rock back and forth as he steps away, giving me his back, and I close my eyes, trying to stop the tears. I’m shaking, having a hard time catching my breath.

“He can see you now,” he says, getting my attention.

Licking my wet lips, I taste my tears and whisper, “How?”

“I’ll take you. No one will even know we left. But Ashtyn…” He pins me with a stare. “Who all knows about this?”

I give him a quick rundown of what was supposed to have been my therapy session, and he curses. “We’ll have to come up with a story. When we get back, you’ll have to go back and see her. You need to confide in her. Let her think she’s helping you, okay?”

I nod, hating that thought but knowing he’s not wrong.

“I mean it, baby girl.” He kneels back down in front of me, taking my shaking hands in his. “I’m going to help you, but it won’t be easy.”

Things changedafter I saw Gavin. I knew right then and there when I saw the baby on the monitor that I had to stop thinking about me and Saint. But like everything else in my life, it just wasn’t meant to be.

My lips tremble as I look up at Haidyn. I can only imagine what he’s going through after that day as well. I’ve wanted to say it for a long time, but that would have required me to return, which I never planned on doing. “I’m sorry….”

“Don’t fucking apologize!” he yells in my face, making me whimper. Closing my eyes, I try to turn my head away from him, but he’s got a death grip on me. “Look at me,” he commands.

I pry my watery eyes open and meet his and take in a shaky breath. My hands dig into his bloody T-shirt, trying to push him away, but he’s got his large body pressed into mine.

“Accept your punishment, Ashtyn. We all had to.” He steps back, yanks me from the wall, and shoves me toward the door. “Get the fuck out of here before I make you skin what’s left of him.”

I don’t have to be told twice. I run out of the room, through the plastic doorway as “NUMB” by Ryan Oakes blares from the room I just vacated.

I look over my shoulder, making sure he’s not chasing me down, my hair slapping me in the face. I’m gasping for breath, my heart in my throat. I look back to see where I’m going just in time to see I need to turn a corner.

I run toward the opposite end of the hall, needing to get the fuck out of here and back to my room. Coming up to the elevator, I pound on the button and rush in when the door opens. I continue to hit the button on the inside for the floor that my room is on.

FORTY-SEVEN

SAINT

I’m sitting in my office watching Ashtyn on my computer. I do it all the time. It’s consuming to the point I want to punch myself in the fucking face. She scared herself today. I’m not surprised. She can’t sit still. I knew she wouldn’t stay confined to her room unless I tied her to her bed and locked her door from the outside.

My cell rings, and I look down to see a familiar number. “Hello?” I answer.

“Hey, man. I have an assignment,” the Lord says in greeting.

I sit back in my seat. “Okay. How can I help?” I’m assuming he called me for a reason.

“It’s to deliver a Lord to you.”

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