Page 55 of Fated with my Ex's Brother

I've got to toughen up and shake this off.

Chapter Thirteen Nick

What have I done?

Why didn't I just explain everything to her?

She probably would have helped with some missing pieces, but I am

too much of a coward, and I gave my ego full reign. I am a -rst;class idiot.

Shit!

I broke up with Isabel. What was I thinking?

I saw the hurt in her eyes' it had been playing in my head since I said I wanted out. I donqt think Iqll be able to forgive myself, neither will she. I guess this leaves me with no other option but to move on and live with the conse’uences of my actions. Itxs what I deserve.

But I miss her.

It has been siB days since I broke up with Isabel. Hut it seems like forever, and it has been hell. Wonestly, Iqve never felt shittier. It has been horrible, and I canqt get her out of my head. Fhenever I see her pass by me at the station, I lose my shit because I donqt know how to act. I can tell she is still hurting, and so am I. Iqve tried to approach her and talk, but I am too scared to hear what she would say to me. Fhen Iqm a few steps away from her, -nding the courage to speak, I spook, turn my back, and disappear.

Then, I spend the neBt hour or so berating myself for my sel-sh behavior. I shouldnqt have taken my insecurities about my late brother AETDM FITW YX DRqS HO1TWDO 99L

sleeping with Isabel out on our relationship. It wasnqt her fault. Well, she is still entirely in the dark about ?ouis. Es far as she knows, my brother is alive and well somewhere, living his best life without know; ing he has a kid somewhere.

Thinking about it now, I must commend her for her strength to raise a child alone without the hope of ever meeting the father. Fhy didnqt I think of how all these will aject Isabelz I was baselessly think; ing about myself and trying to protect my heart should Isabel -nd out and break up with me. It was easier to do it -rst. Hut guess whatz It doesnqt make any dijerence because I am hurting like hell.

Es a result of my poor choices, Iqm beginning to feel like a stranger in this town again. Dveryone in the precinct has changed' even my best buddies donqt talk to me like they used to. Theyqve all kept it formal. Thatqs how much I fucked up.

Isabel is like a sister they have to protect, and rightly so. End because they approved of our relationship and I messed it up, they havenqt tak; en it lightly with me, and I understand that. I am glad Isabel has people in her corner. The funny part is, when the rumor of our breakup -lled the air of the precinct, the chief called me to his o"ce, asking me why I decided to end my relationship with Isabel abruptly. Still, I couldnqt tell him anything genuine. We had rooted for us and had given me the bene-t of the doubt that I was the best choice for Isabel. I have !eopardiUed his trust and that of others in the precinct.

2Dlwood0 Ere you on desk duty todayz2 the chiefqs voice thundered through the station walls. 2Ere you not on patrolz2

I have been on patrol three times this week, and according to our roster, it shouldnqt be more than three per o"cer. Enyone can tell the chief is trying to punish me for what I did to Isabel in his own way. That is why he put me on patrol for the rest of the month. Not that 9J: WD?DN H?GYD

I mind' honestly, I love being outside in the -eld. Et least it keeps me from thinking about Isabel all the time. Hut today isnqt the day for me. I woke up with a migraine, a hammer;to;the;head, hurts;to;open;your;eyes migraine. The nausea and diUUiness are !ust starting to wear oj. Needless to say, I didnqt feel -t enough to drive a vehicle. Iqve barely slept in the past few days because of this uneasiness and restlessness since I broke up with Isabel.

2I donqt think Iqm on patrol, sir,2 I reply.

2I have the command here, Nickolai0 So, when I tell you to hit the

-eld, you do !ust that. 6et out of my precinct02 he says in a harsh tone.

2Hut sir, I was on patrol yesterday. Can I sit this one outz2 I ask solemnly.

2Fhat does that have to do with my last orderz I want you at asonville Street now02 he shouts.

2Xes, sir,2 I say, rising to my feet as I grab a few things from my table before I make it outside to the patrol car assigned to me.

2Wey Edams, mind !oining me at asonville for patrolz2 I ask Edams, who I see entering the station.

2Iqm sorry, man, Iqve got some reports I need to -le,2 he says ’uickly.

2Edams, you canqt be mad at me, too,2 I say.

2Fhy canqt Iz2 he snaps.

2Hecause I donqt have anybody on my side. Xou and Oonny are my only friends here,2 I eBplain. 2Fell, you should have thought of that before you shattered Isabelqs heart.2 We pauses for a second. 2Hefore you approached Isabel, I asked you several times if you were ready for a commitment. Xou made me believe that you were. Itqs barely two months into the relationship, and you end it !ust like that without any logical reason. Well, without any reason at all02 he moves closer to me. 2Enswer me this If she was your sister, would you smile and be chummy with whoever broke her heartz2 he asks.

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