Page 52 of Lost

“I thought… of you. Or, rather, you came rushing into my head. I felt like I had to come and find you, like something was leading me toward you, only it wasn’t leading me back into the palace. It led me away, toward a set of stairs I didn’t know existed.”

My secret escape route.

“When I reached these stairs,” he continued, “They were open. I rushed through them, made my way into the city, and from there, I was able to melt into the crowd and leave. By the time word had reached the gates, I was gone.”

“That all sounds… are you telling me you somehow evaded all of Windhelm’s soldiers and guards?”

“I did. They would’ve killed me if they had found me.”

“You don’t know that.”

“To them, I was a stranger that had somehow infiltrated the palace. They would’ve had my head.”

“Windhelm doesn’t execute people.”

“Tell that to the guards who wanted to skewer me with their swords.”

I scanned him, watching him closely, trying to figure out whether he was lying to me or not. None of this felt real; it was like a nightmare I was bound to wake up from any moment now. But it was real, wasn’t it? I was here, in the forest, feeling the bite of the cold wind on my ears, on the tip of my nose. I could still hear Tallin’s voice in my head, the panic he had felt when he saw me.

And Radulf.

The way he had looked at me, the things he had said to me. He had wanted to put me in thegroundfor infiltrating his village, and here was Valerian, who seemed to have gone through something similar back at the palace. It was possible he was lying to me, and I knew it was a mistake to trust him, but he was the only person I could speak to right now, whether friend or foe.

“Those stairs…” I ventured. “How did you find them?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “I needed a way out of the city, and I felt like something guided me toward them.”

“No one is meant to know where those stairs are. Only the royals do, and only royals can open them.”

“I found them, and they were already open.”

Had I left them open?I couldn’t remember, but it was possible. I hadflownthrough them. In my desperation to get away from the palace, I could have forgotten to close them. Or maybe thissomethinghe talked about, this force that guided him toward me, also ensured the gate was open for him to go through.

“And you knew I would be here?” I asked.

“I knew you weren’t in the palace anymore,” he said, “And I could… feel you. I knew you were out here, somewhere, waiting for me.”

“I haven’t been waiting for you. I only just got here.”

“Princess…” he paused. “I don’t know what’s happening to us, but you have to trust me. I’m not lying to you… I swear it.”

I wasn’t about to let my guard down, no matter how sincere he looked. For some strange reason, though, I believed him. I believed he had gone through the same thing I had gone through. Why he could remember me, though, I didn’t know… or maybe I did, I just didn’t want to accept it.

“I know who you are,” I said. “Valerian…”

“You don’t know how good it is to hear you say that,” he said.

“No one knows who I am. Not the Moon Children, not my friend, not my own brother. I was chased out of their village, forced to run into the woods.” I shook my head. “Do you want to know what the worst part is?”

“There’s more?”

I nodded. “I tried everything I could to get my brother to see me, to know me; to look at me and see his own sister standing in front of him.” I paused. “He told me he already had a sister, and I wasn’t her.”

Valerian didn’t respond to that. I saw his throat work from where I was standing, but he remained silent.Thatwas a tell. I picked it up instantly and knew he was hiding something.

“What is it?” I prodded.

He shook his head. “I don’t know if I should say.”

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