Page 42 of Lost

“I did make it,” Radulf said. “I hope you enjoy it.”

“I am.”

“Me too,” Tallin said, “Although… I hesitate to ask what’s in it.”

“It’s probably best if you don’t.”

“Did the beast have the capacity to speak, or reallythink?”

Radulf smiled. “No.”

“Oh, good,” Tallin said, and he continued to tuck in.

My brother turned his eyes on me again. “Have you made your first kill, yet?” he asked.

I almost choked on my stew. When I recovered, I shook my head. “Not yet.”

“Why haven’t you? Your first change was moons ago.”

“I just haven’t. It’s not something I want to do.”

Radulf frowned. “You will. I could teach you, if you wanted me to. Show you what beasts to hunt, and how to hunt them.”

“Do I have to?”

“I don’t know if you have to, but one day, you’ll want to. It’s only natural. Sinking your teeth into an animal and feeling the blood pour out of its veins until it dies… there’s nothing quite like it.”

“It sounds horrible,” I said.

“It’s nature. We are the predators out there… we were meant to hunt. How can you crave adventure and yet shun the very notion of killing another living creature?”

“How do you know I crave adventure?”

“It’s why you’re here.”

“I’m here because I’m done with the Royal Selection.”

“Yes, but you are also here because, like the wolf who attacked you out in the forest earlier, you are questioning your place in our pack. If the Royal Selection wasn’t your main bone to pick with our parents, you would have found another one, and another one, and another one. You want to figure out where you stand with them.”

“I alsodon’twant to marry some royal idiot.”

“That is also a valid reason not to want to partake in the Selection. But running away from your problems does nothing toward solving them.”

“I didn’t come here for a lecture, Radulf. I came here to ask you to help me.”

“And how am I supposed to do that?”

“I don’t know. You’re my big brother. I can just stay here, with you. If you really want to, you can teach me how to hunt.”

“Mother will come looking for you.”

“Yes.”

“And so will father.”

“I know.”

“I can’t keep them out of my village forever, Amara. I really do think the best thing you can do is confront them yourself.”

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