Page 8 of Azriel

Azriel was still shit.

He knew the human had seen enough, and it wouldn’t take a genius to figure out that his unexpected visitor wasn’t human. The human probably thought that he was the type of angel that came from heaven, and because of that, he should do what’s expected and welcome it. That was all Azriel could think of.

The fact that the human tied himself up the best he could proved that. He probably thought he was the angel’s slave and decided to accept that.

In his eyes, what was a human compared to an angel?

It just made Azriel feel worse. Even if it wasn’t actual rape, he’d made the guy think he was some inhuman being’s bitch. It didn't matter if the human liked sucking his dick either. Azriel shouldn't have been stupid enough to take things further just because the human seemed eager. He’d only realized it afterward.

Tears welled up in his eyes as he listened to the two humans go about their morning business. If he wasn’t so terrified of what awaited after death, he would have already killed himself. He still wasn’t sure if he could manage to live, and he had no idea how to cope on Earth. How could he live for so long while trapped in these memories?

He curled up on the floor as he quietly wept. Why couldn’t he have been a human and grown up in a house with parents? Why did they have to pick him and dirty him for life? They’d said he’d be fine and let him rejoin society, but he’d never be fine.

He hoped the demons killed every single angel in the Fallen realm and ripped them all to shreds.

He finally drifted off into hazy dreams that made little sense. His sleep was often shitty, and the gloomy attic didn’t help. As usual, the fear was consuming, and he jerked on the floor.

The bare rafters loomed above him as he gasped and tried to push away the faint images. Had he shouted? He didn’t think so. He rolled back onto his side and heard nothing below, so maybe the humans had gone out. This was partly why he couldn’t stay here or anywhere. The nightmares sometimes made him scream and cry even if he didn't remember them, and he’d surely be heard at some point.

He'd gotten lucky this time, but he’d never be truly safe. He hadn’t been safe since the day that one angel stopped by his bunk.

After rolling onto his back, he tried to sleep again and hoped he could slip into nothing for a while. It wasn’t fair that he could be hurt again in his dreams too.

He’d started to drift when the hatch made a scraping noise. Azriel’s eyes snapped open as his body froze for a second.

“I have a weapon, and I-I’ll stick you.”

Azriel lifted his head to see the man peeking over the edge with a dagger. His eyes grew huge, and Azriel’s first thought was to attack and save himself so he didn't get stuck with a dagger, but who was the real monster here? It certainly wasn’t the human.

Instead, Azriel shakily got to his knees and hasted for the corner. Whatever was coming, he deserved it, but it would hurt.

The man would surely kill him. As soon as he saw the horns, which angels didn’t have in the human’s idea of them, he’d attack. Azriel could kill him, but that wasn’t fair. He had a Mother, and she surely loved him. Why should Azriel save himself? He was practically a rapist, and nobody would miss him once he was dead.

“What the fuck? You’ve been living in my attic this whole time?!”

The human started to climb through the hatch. The dagger glinted, and Azriel curled up as tight as he could in the corner while he covered his face. He didn't want to see it when the dagger came down, and he hoped it was quick. Hadn’t he suffered enough by now?

The human’s footsteps drew closer. “Hey.”

Azriel pressed his hands against his face. Maybe the afterlife was just a void, and he couldn’t feel. At least that would be some respite. He wouldn’t have toremember.

“Hey, Mr. Angel. What are you doing up here?”

“Just kill me,” whispered Azriel. Why did everything have to be dragged out?

“I’m not killing you. I just said that in case some outlaw was tucked up here. I didn’t know it was you. Why are you living in my attic?”

Azriel trembled even though he tried to press himself against the wood to stop it.

“Why are you shaking? I promise I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I’m sorry,” whispered Azriel.

“I’m not mad or anything. I’m just wondering what you’re doing up here.”

Azriel dared to peek at him. The human didn’t have his dagger ready to stab him in his face, and he was crouching instead of threateningly looming over him.

“Did you get lost or something?” asked the human. “Is that why you’re bunking up here?”

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