Page 35 of Lust

Rowena huffs. “Wanted to see what her own ass cheeks looked like on the big screen more like.”

Juliette lifts her nose in the air. “I wanted to make sure my cellulite didn’t show up. Is that a crime? It doesn’t matter because they didn’t show me, anyway. They didn’t show everyone. They didn’t show Remy and Candice either, but they did show what Dade did!” She gives me a wink that makes me cringe.

“What did Dade do?” Rowena’s eyes turn to me. “Was it vile? Kinky? Did he hurt you?”

I don’t want to talk about Dade and what happened in the second part of the trial any more than I want to tell the girls that I’m going for dinner with Remy this evening. I already know what they’ll say if I tell them. I’ll have to at some point, but I’ll do it when there’s not so many people around. I don’t like that half of Hell know what Dade did for me. I’m still not sure if he was being chivalrous or if he thought he was actually going to hurt me. What Rowena just said has put it into perspective for me, though. She could have hurt Felix, but she chose not to because if Felix was out of the games there’s a good change she would be too. Maybe that’s the only reason I’m still alive. Dade can’t kill me while I’m still his partner. Not if he wants to get through to the next round. That means, as long as we are still together and in the second circle, I’ll survive.

“He didn’t do anything.”

“Nothing? Couldn’t he get it up or something?” She nods upwards toward the leader board. “You got zero points.”

My eyes flick up to the screen and see mine and Dade’s names right at the bottom of the Leader board. Rowena, thanks to what she did to Felix, has shot up, overtaking us, and of course Juliette is still at the top with a perfect score of twenty.

My heart falls. Zero points this half of the first round. Twenty-six other couples are above us. I try to work out the score. If Dade and I get ten points in the next two trials, whatever it might be, and literally everyone else gets zero, we’ll still not make it to the Third Circle. Noémi’s words come back to me. Only ten couples will go through to the next circle. We’re out. Because of Dade’s actions, or lack of action in this case, we’re both doomed to stay here forever. With a sharp intake of breath, I realize that we’re not only going to be stuck in hell, but in this Circle. There’s no going back to Purgatory where, at least, my body was my own and not turned on and fizzing with desire by the slightest thing.

This is it.

Forever.

“I can’t imagine Dade having a problem like that,” Maggie shouts over from her table. “So many men. So little time. I guess if you stay behind and we do too, we could do a bit of partner swapping? What do you say?”

“Hmmm,” I mumble, not really listening. “I’m going out tonight. I have to go get ready.” I slip out of the booth and practically race back to my room. I pull up the score board on my Hell Cell and despair at our rank. Less than a minute after I’ve closed my door, there’s a knock at it.

“Quinn. You okay?” someone shouts through.

I open the door to find Juliette and Rowena.

Rowena looks at me with pity. “I didn’t think anyone else could possibly have it worse than me, but you look like you’ve swallowed a lemon. What’s going on?”

“I’m out,” I say, holding the Hell Cell up to show them. Juliette takes it from my hand as she shuts the door behind her.

“Look. I’m at the bottom. I worked it out. There’s no way I can get into the top ten now. Not even if I do something amazing like bang all the guys in here.”

“You’ll put Juliette out of a job if you do that,” Rowena teases, settling onto my bed.

Beside her, Juliette rolls her eyes. “It’s not that bad. I bet there’s a way around this. Maybe you could ask to switch partners? It’s his fault you got a zero score, not yours.”

“I don’t even know if Dade’s the problem. I can’t stop thinking about him.” I admit with a hint of frustration. “I’m going to dinner with Remy tonight and I can’t get the image of Dade out of my head. It’s driving me insane.”

“If you really want him,” Juliette says softly. “I don’t see the problem.”

I sit on the bed and let my head fall into my hands. “He’d rather manacle himself to a dungeon wall than touch me?” I let out a sigh. “We are at the bottom of the leader board and I have to do the next trial with him, which is going to be horrific. I didn’t know what to do during that last trial. Dade told me to sit and watch him suffer and I could have done something. I should have.” I sigh. “I couldn’t do it. I was glad that Dade told me not to come near him. It felt so wrong.”

“Oh honey.” Juliette takes my hand. “We’re in Hell. It’s a little too late for us to be thinking about what’s right and wrong. No one cares about morals here. You’ve got to forget that part of yourself.”

“I can’t.” I say, raising my voice. “When I’m near him, my body freezes in fear and I’m more turned on than I’ve ever been in my whole life.”

Rowena strokes my face. If anyone else did that, I’d be irritated at the intrusion, but with Rowena, it’s calming. “That’s this place. You think I’d have ever given Felix a blow job if the air wasn’t being pumped full of sex chemicals? It’s the only thing that helped me to do it. This isn’t about you or Dade. You’re in this for Jenny. Remember that.”

I bow my head and squeeze my eyes tightly, biting back a sob. “I didn’t even think of her when I was in that room with Dade. What does that make me?”

“It makes you human,” Rowena says. “Which is more than I can say for most of the people in here. But if you want to get to Jenny, you’ll have to stop this pity party. Think of Dade as a tool to get you what you want. We’ll go and speak to Noémi and find out if there’s anything you can do about the point situation. It might not matter in the next trial, anyway. Maybe our points reflect who goes first into the second trial?

I wipe away the one tear that’s escaped as Juliette types something into her Hell Cell before putting it on speaker. It rings a couple of times before Noémi answers.

“Bonjour, ma belle, Juliette. To what do I owe ze pleasure?”

Next to Juliette, Rowena mimes sticking her fingers down her throat. I see her opinion of Noémi hasn’t changed in the last couple of days.

---