Page 61 of Lust

He pauses, studying my disheveled state. I know that I look a mess. I chose to sprint up the staircase rather than wait for the platform. If I’d waited and thought about what I was about to do, I wouldn’t have come. My cheeks are flushed, and I’m struggling for breath.

“How can I help you?”

I fixate on him, expecting a confrontation. I thought he’d, at the very least, make me plead my case. Instead, he stands waiting for me to catch my breath. His expression is benign, but I can feel the turmoil beneath it.

“I want to borrow your elevator key. I need to get down to the lower level.”

As he steps back from the door, my heart tightens in anticipation of the slam of it in my face. It never comes.

“Dade?” I call, peering into the empty doorway, though I haven't been given an invitation to enter. His room is dark and I can’t see him and yet the doorway remains open. I don’t know whether to step inside or leave. While I’m still pondering, he appears back at the door, the blue marble in his hand. I reach out for it, a sense of relief washing over me that it's been surprisingly straightforward, and he hasn't forced me to beg. He pulls his hand back.

I gaze up at him and see that he’s no longer half naked, but has pulled a shirt on.

“What’s going on?” I ask, confused. My heart is pounding and I don’t know why. It just does that when Dade is around.

His expression is solemn, but his voice leaves no room for argument. “I know you wouldn’t come to me if you weren’t in trouble. I shall not permit you to go to the lower level alone.”

What? No!

My head shakes vehemently, a surge of anger rising from the depths of shock provoked by his words. “You don’t permit me? You don’t own me. You don’t get to dictate what I can or cannot do.”

He responds with an infuriating calmness to my outrage. “And yet, it is I who possesses the key.”

He can’t. He just can’t. I can’t concentrate when he’s around. It’s like the entire world is filled with him, and I don’t need that right now. Of course, I can hardly tell him that, so I settle with, “I’m not the one in trouble,” I admit. “Twila is. I need to find her.”

The way he looks at me has my stomach turning to mush. He’s utterly impossible to argue with. He steps past me. “All the more reason, you’ll need help, Valentine,” he says, closing the door behind him.

I stare at his retreating back as he calls the platform. His black wings look larger and more magnificent silhouetted against the stained glass, which gives him a kind of red glow. He’s never looked more a demon than he does now. Its awe-inspiring and has my heart pounding in a way it shouldn’t, because it’s not just the demon in him I’m reminded of, but the times those wings were wrapped around me and I felt like nothing could hurt me.

I let out a sigh. I’m tired of all the push and pull between us. I’m exhausted by the venomous barbs we throw at each other, and most of all, I’m tired of the fact that I always seem to end up with him, but not reallywithhim.

“You’d better not just be having so much sex with Hades that you’ve forgotten to call us,” I mutter under my breath to Twila as though she’s right next to me. I step into the small platform beside Dade, purposefully positioning myself to the side to ensure that there's no physical contact between us. If I have to do this with him, I don’t need to complicate it.

I don’t look at him as we descend the six floors to the bottom, but I feel his eyes boring into me. I can finally breathe as the platform comes to a rest and I step off. If Dade wants to come with me to find Twila, then fine, but I’m taking the lead in this. I won’t be waylaid by any of Dade’s crap. Thankfully, the atrium is pretty quiet and though a few people look our way, they don’t bother us. I hear our names in their whispers and I curse my new found fame. Everything was so much easier when I was anonymous. Dade places the marble into the small hole that serves as a keyhole in the elevator and it takes us down past the entertainment level to the most dangerous part of the tower. The lower level where the demons are no longer glamored and don’t have to pretend to like the humans that live here. Upstairs, they have to cater to our every whim, but down here, this is their territory and they can do whatever they want.

As the doors slide open, I draw in a deep breath. In stark contrast to the opulent pink extravagance of the upper floors, the lower level retains the same appearance as it did back in Purgatory. The gray service corridors bring back a rush of memories, none of them good. This is where I saw Dade having his skin peeled from his back by sharp teethed imps. I can still see his blood dripping onto the floor every time I close my eyes. I feel a change in Dade’s aura as we step out into the bland corridor.

“That way is where the demons hang out.” I say, pointing in the direction of the lounge.

“I’m aware.”

Of course he is. He knows this place better than I do. “I think if Twila is anywhere, she’ll be in there. Hades too.”

Dade nods. “Stay here and I will go and see.”

“No. I’m not letting you go without me.” I stand my ground.

He gives me an unreadable look, cocking his head slightly. “You don’t permit me? You don’t own me. You don’t get to dictate what I can or cannot do.”

He’s so fucking arrogant, using my own words against me. “I’m coming with you!” I take a step forward, but he blocks my path with astonishing speed, a blur of motion.

“It is not like the bowels of Purgatory down here, Valentine.” His stare is dark and haunted, matching his aura, which seems to have thickened around us since the elevator doors opened. “Down here. The demons are vicious.”

I pin my hands to my hips and add steel to my voice. “I’m coming with you.”

Irritation flecks his eyes. “Why do you have to be so insufferable all the time, Valentine?”

“Why do you have to be an asshole all the time, Angelis” I counter. I step around him, but he catches my wrist, spinning me around.

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