Page 40 of Promised

He grasped my cheeks, tilting my head until I was looking up at him. His thumbs brushed away my tears as I gripped his shirt. Clinging to him like he could take away the betrayal.

“Oh fuck, Ariella. I don’t know how to make this up to you. How to make it better.” His eyes were full of regret as they traced over my face. It was like seeing the old him. It was how he used to look at me. Like he loved me. “I’m just so fucking sorry.”

“Why would you think that?” I whispered.

I wanted to lean into him. Pretend everything was okay now. But it wasn’t.

He’d still hurt me. Still betrayed what we had. How could he think I’d had an abortion? That I could’ve ever given up our baby. Given him up.

“Britney told me.”

“What? No.” I gasped. Acid churned in my stomach. I had a reason to feel betrayed. It just wasn’t from the person I’d spent seven years wanting and hating. “I told her to go find you. She said she saw you leaving town. That since I’d had a miscarriage, there was no reason for you to stay. She said you didn’t want me.”

His eyes darkened as he stared at me. I could practically see the same questions working through his mind. Why would Britney do that? Why would she rip us apart like this?

“I want you. I’ve always wanted you.” His body vibrated with anger. His fingers flexed on my cheek as he held himself back. He had the thinnest thread on his self-control as he tried to keep his rage from hurting me. “I showed up at the hospital. She told me you were falling in line with your father.”

I swallowed past the emotion in my throat. She’d poked at his deepest wound. The one fear that he wouldn’t question. She’d let him think I’d abandoned him like his mother had. “I never would’ve done that. I loved you. I loved our baby.”

He crushed me to his chest again. His fingers dug into my flesh like he couldn’t get close enough. “I’m sorry.”

What was he sorry for? That he’d believed her lies? That he hadn’t even tried to talk to me? That he thought I could be so cruel?

He didn’t know me at all. Or he never would’ve listened to her.

My past suddenly made sense. I’d spent years thinking Adam had abandoned me. That he wasn’t the person I thought he was.

It helped to know I wasn’t wrong. That I’d been right to believe in our love. I could let go of the anger at myself. The guilt I felt for ruining my life over a man who hadn’t truly wanted me.

But this. This was worse. He wanted me, but he didn’t know me. I thought he’d always love me. That nothing could tear us apart. But one lie, one seed of doubt, and he ran. I couldn’t forgive that.

“Don’t.” I shoved him back. Immediately, my body rebelled against the loss. My skin went cold as he moved away. “You can’t apologize and make it better. You were supposed to be there. You were supposed to protect me. You have no idea how hard it was. I had to run the second I got out of the hospital so my father couldn’t get his hands on me. I was broken and alone. I had nothing. No one.”

I choked as the deception hit me. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to hold the pieces together. I still had no one. Everyone I knew was a liar. Or a murderer. Or power hungry. My father. My supposed best friend.

I was alone, truly alone. All I had was Zara, and I couldn’t give her my problems when she had the same ones. I needed to leave. I needed to go back to my quiet life where there was no one to hurt me.

“Ariella?” Adam lifted his arm like he was going to pull me close again. But I couldn’t stand it.

“Don’t touch me!” I screamed and jumped back. “All you want to do is torture me for what happened.”

“Nightling, please.” He stepped closer, but I retreated. “I didn’t know.”

“I c-can’t.” The breath stuttered in my lungs.

The memories were too visceral. The betrayal too deep. I wished I’d never found out. I wished I’d never come back. It was almost easier when he hated me. Simpler.

“I can’t do this.”

Glass crunched under my feet as I turned and ran. He called my name, but I didn’t look back. I ran from the pain like I had before. Ran to keep myself safe.

Even when all I wanted to do was turn back into the safety of his embrace.

21

Ariella

Istumbled up the steps to my father’s house. Once I’d started running and made it to the road, I immediately realized where I was. The cottage Adam brought me to was on the other side of the woods. It had only taken me twenty minutes to walk back. But now I was a complete mess.

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