Page 42 of Blood Lust

“No, Wren.” As if I had asked his permission.

“You can’t make me live,” I said, pulling back. “You chose this life for me, and it’s my decision if I keep it.”

He looks like I hit him.

“No, love.” His voice is calming. “I can’t make you live, but I will die trying.” I roll my eyes at him. “I’m serious, how are we doing this?”

“Wearen’t doing anything. I am going to sit here and let the sunrise.” My eyes are on the horizon. It’s almost time. “You should get back.”

Oz settles himself on my rock, eying the pink beginning to form in the distance. “I think I’ll stay with you.” His voice is gentle and soothing, and he takes my hand and pulls me onto his lap. I should resist, but at the same time, there is nowhere I’d rather be than in his arms.

“Oz, please, I don’t want you to die. You’re not the monster here. I believe you. I’m a murderer. Go, go live forever.” My words are coming quickly, panicked. I don’t want Oz to go with me. This is supposed to be something I do alone. He has to live. I love him.

Brushing his fingers against my cheek, he pulls me close. “Forever is worthless if you aren’t with me.” His lips graze mine ever so lightly.

“Please,” my voice is hushed and breathy. How am I getting aroused as we sit here contemplating suicide? While I am covered with the blood of my ex? “I beg you. Please go.”

“Not without you.” I can feel the determination he has. He won’t leave me. I have to go with him.

“Why?” Why will he sacrifice himself alongside me?

Because I love you, he traces the words across my mind.

“Because what happened back there has happened to almost every vampire.” Lips lead soft kisses down my neck.

“Because the blood lust wins out sometimes, and it doesn’t make you evil, it doesn’t make you bad. It makes you try to do better next time.” He brings my hand to his lips and kisses the tips of my fingers.

“Because you don’t want to die, Wren. You tried to get out of the water. You fought like hell to live. I’m asking you to do the same thing one more time.” His exploring hands brush against the curve of my breasts, and I moan.

My eyes widen, and he presses his lips against mine. I can feel his yearning. His agony. I can tell he never wants to be without me. My heart bursts with longing, desire, and the need to be whole. His lips move to my neck as he pins me to the rock beneath us. He moans as I arch my back into him. He is tasting me and the remnants of my atrocity.

The fire he ignites in me is unlike anything I’ve ever felt, and I realize how fucking stupid I’ve been. What would be the point in staging this when just speaking to me would’ve guaranteed I’d fall for him? Why would Charlee trick me into eating my ex when it could freak me out like it did? She wouldn’t. But more importantly…

Why die?

I am back in the car again, upside down, water rising.

Like a spectator I watch myself struggle to escape the car. I see my feeble attempts to swim to the surface. I hadn’t given in to the nothing. I fought against it until I couldn’t anymore. I see the mistake that cost me everything, and I die. Oz gave that back to me. He saved me.

He killed me and made me a vampire to keep me alive.

My head is spinning.

He saved me from being nothing, he saved me again from dark terror. Now he’s trying to save me from the sun.

I am going to let him.

“Let’s go back,” I breathe, wanting to run from this place. “Quickly, before the sun comes up.”

Still panting from our kisses, Oz looks to the East. “It’s too late, my love. It’s too late…”

I am terrified, but he lets me drown in him even as my fear claws its way to the surface. Lips bruise mine, and he forces his tongue against mine. We will go out together in a flame of passion. I can tell when the sun breaks over the horizon. I can feel the light creep toward us faster than I imagined possible. Suddenly, it washes over us, and I tremble, clutching onto Oz like he is my life raft.

Nothing happens.

Oz and I pull apart as I open my eyes and take in the world around me. The sun shines, and birds and other animals stir for the day, while the evening creatures slumber. I look up at Oz, my eyes searching, only to find him smiling and staring back at me.

I frown.

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