Page 88 of Poisoned Pawn

He tugs free of my hold and goes into the bathroom, closing the door. It doesn’t matter what answer I give him because he already believes that what he did has done nothing but cause Erica more pain.

CHAPTERTWENTY-EIGHT

CARTER

Istare at my reflection in the mirror. I look old and tired. Worn out by a life lived with guilt and matched only by the burden of death.

I consider what I have to offer Star in the way of a life. The answer is simple, a visit from the Grim Reaper and a place at my graveside.

But it’s a split-second thought that is shut down by the bone deep and soul destroying need for her. And Maddox’s words earlier play on my mind. They were a reminder that Erica is part of my world, and even though I never told another Shadow about her, I’d be a fool to think Rook wouldn’t look for my only other weakness.

I strip out of my boxers and take another shower if only to delay going back out to Star. If I take long enough, hopefully she’ll be asleep by the time I’m finished.

I was a fucking idiot to believe that.

When I step out of the room thirty minutes later, there she is sitting at the end of the bed, her legs stretched out in front of her, ankles crossed, and looking at the floor.

She doesn’t bother looking up as she speaks. “Feeling better?”

“Not in the fucking slightest.”

“Didn’t think so. Running away isn’t the best medicine for dealing with your shit. Trust me I know.”

She finally stops looking at the floor and turns to me, then gets to her feet and comes and stands in front of me.

“You know, some arsehole once told me that I need to remember who owns my scars,” I say, reaching up and running my fingers through the scruff on his face. “You didn’t inflict those scars on your sister, Carter. Saving Erica wasn’t a mistake. Everyone deserves to be saved even you.”

I begin to shake my head, but her hand on my face stops me. “I don’t deserve anything,” I snap. “And there is no fucking saving me, Star. I’ve already got one foot in the grave. Are you ready for that? Ready to spend your life looking over your shoulder, ready for the day I don’t come home?”

I step into her, shoving her hand from my face. I advance forward for every step back she takes.

“I should have walked away, let you go, but I’m too fucking selfish. And now I couldn’t fucking walk away if I tried. So, you tell me how that means I deserve to be saved, Star?”

She stops walking backward at my words and stands tall in front of me. Her nostrils flare, eyes flashing with fire. Her hands land on my chest with a clap of flesh on flesh as she shoves me.

“Because I fucking need you.” She shoves me again, and this time the force of it has me taking a step back to steady myself. “I need you. I need you to breathe. I need you to keep my demons from my door. I need you to feel anything other than disgust and shame and…I need you to feel whole again.” Every sentence is punctuated with a slap of her hands on my chest, and each one stings, not physically. They are barbs aimed straight at my heart, the one that beats only for her.

I crash into her, sweeping her off her feet and into my arms as my lips smash against hers. It’s savage. It’s raw. It’s a taking and claiming all in one go. I don’t think. I don’t pause. I just feel.

I feel everything.

The strumming of her pulse beneath the skin of her neck as I kiss her there.

The stuttered breaths as I pin her to the bed and drive my cock into her.

The desperate cry that falls from her lips as she milks my cock.

The three words that she whispers to me when we come together.

* * *

I’m sitting at the dining table with Frankie’s laptop when Roxanne comes in. She greets me with a grumbled morning then makes a cup of coffee before joining me at the table.

“I need you and Star to do something for me today,” I say without looking away from the screen that is currently displaying a message from Koda letting me know he’s back in charge of the server and doubled down on security. I’m waiting for him to reply to my last message, but regardless of the answer I need to move Erica.

“Oh yeah, what’s that?” she says with an edge of distrust.

This time I raise my head and look at her. “My sister is alive, and if Rook knows, he’ll use her.”

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