Page 108 of Tantalizing Kings

His throat bobs as he swallows hard. “From the start.”

A sense of betrayal hits me. “They’ve been dating for almost a year now. You knew this when I made the deal with you guys. Yet, you still agreed. You still... touched me... last night.” My stomach rolls. How could something so amazing feel so tainted now. “Why?” I hate the vulnerability in my voice right now.

“Please, believe me when I say I didn’t do it to hurt you. Yes. I knew when you made the deal with us, and yes, I still agreed to it. I did it because I knew that if you were aware of our parents' relationship, you would have rescinded the deal. And I couldn’t let that happen. Not until I’ve had you. Sadie, fuck... you have no idea how long I’ve wanted you, craved you.”

He steps toward me, eyes wild. I step back, heart pounding as so many conflicting feelings hit me all at once.

“You lied to me.” Tears fill my eyes. “We’re going to be step siblings for fuck’s sake, Grayson!” I grab a handful of my hair. “And we fucked last night.” I whisper the last part harshly.

“And it was the best fucking night of my life, Pretty Girl.”

“This is so fucked up.” I shake my head and drop into the chair behind me.

Grayson gets to his knees and places his hands on mine. “I’m so fucking sorry. I know I should have told you. I shouldn’t have blindsided you like this.”

“Then why did you!” I shout.

“Because I’m a fucking selfish asshole, Sadie. My life is so damn complicated. And so are my feelings for you. I’ve wanted you to be mine for years, Sadie,years. Watching you live your life, knowing I couldn’t be in it, was fucking torture. Seeing you with Raymond made my gut turn. But I didn’t do anything because I knew what my fate was. I couldn’t have you. You came to us with this deal, and I saw it as my only chance to be with you. It was wrong to lie, but I don’t regret it. I don’t regret last night or anything we’ve done.”

He’s breathing heavily, his eyes boring into mine.

I don’t know what to think. I feel hurt, betrayed a little bit too. “I hate being lied to,” I tell him. “I’ve wasted too much time on someone who didn’t appreciate me. He lied, cheated, and used me.” The tears in my eyes spill over, rolling down my cheeks softly. “This isn’t much different from that.”

His eyes widen. “Sadie, no.” He shakes his head. “I am nothing like that asshole.”

“I don’t know what to believe anymore.” My voice breaks, I break, I’m just... fuck, how did everything go from being so amazing to this disaster? “I need time to process this.” I rub my temples, closing my eyes as the tears continue to fall. I sniff and take a deep breath before opening my eyes. “But this is what I can tell you right now, what I do believe and what will happen. Your dad makes my mom happy. And the only thing that can ruin that is us not getting along. So, we’re going to put smiles on our faces and pretend for the rest of tonight that none of this happened. That we never slept together, nothing. Our parents will get married, and we will become family. So me and you, it can’t happen again.”

Grayson’s face hardens as he stands to his feet. “Sadie.”

“Don’t.” I stand, holding my hand up. “Just don’t.” I shake my head and leave the room.

Grayson knew, he didn’t tell me, and still slept with me knowing that we were going to become something more soon. And not in the way I wish.

It’s wrong, right? We can’t be together anymore.

Fucked up part is, if he just was honest with me, I would have looked past the step-sibling part. Because the bottom line is, we won’t be anything more than fuck buddies. We could have done our thing behind closed doors until it was over and then moved on. We’re adults; we didn’t grow up together so it wouldn’t be as odd as if we had.

I don’t like secrets. I don’t like lies. And I sure as hell don’t like being used and made a fool.

And that's exactly what I feel like right now.

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