Page 11 of Shameless

Later, mother and child would head out the door, both with the look of pain gone from their eyes.

Despite being constantly busy, Ingrid never rushed anyone out. Each patient was treated with the same care and concern. One old man came in every few days complaining of aches and pains, always migrating to a different part of his body. Ingrid sent him home each time with a different tea or potion, but nothing seemed to work. Selena suspected his maladies were made up just to get attention. She finally brought it up after he’d stopped by and lingered so long in front of the fire that Ingrid invited him to stay and share their midday meal.

Ingrid nodded pleasantly. “Well, of course they are, dear. Gunter lost his beloved wife a few months ago. She doted on him, and he on her. He has nothing better to do now than to mourn and dwell on every little twinge that comes with age. I invited him to share our dinner because now he’s beholden to me. When next he comes, I’ll mention I’m getting low on firewood. His Viking sense of drengr will require him to repay a favor.”

She gave Selena a grin. “There’s nothing really wrong with him. He’ll get out in the fresh air, chop wood, feel like a man again when he brings it to me.”

“You’re a crafty old thing!” Selena clapped a hand over her mouth, appalled at blurting her thoughts out.

Ingrid chuckled. “Thank you, dear.” She lowered her voice conspiratorially “Soon I’ll ask if I can confide in him. I’ll tell him I’m concerned that the younger warriors on the council are making some rash decisions. He’ll mull things over, decide they have need of his advice, and resume his place at the council table in the great hall. Once he’s taken an interest in life again, he’ll ignore those little aches and pains that come with the passing of the years – as we all learn to do if we want to make the most of every day we’ve been granted by the Nornar.”

As Ingrid’s apprentice, Selena gained a new appreciation for the practice of medicine. The old woman taught her the importance of treating the whole person, not just running a scanner over a mangled limb and then directing a laser at the injury. Ingrid worked miracles with her piles of dried weeds and jars of crushed scorpion tails, administered with a full dose of compassion.

Still, there were some illnesses Ingrid couldn’t heal. Selena lay in bed at night heartsick over the people she knew were dying, wishing desperately she could summon the power of her technological devices to save them. But when she brought it up, Ingrid smiled and patted her hand.

“You have a big heart, child. But death is a part of life. We do not fear it, here on Gadolinium. The gates of Valhalla will swing open for each of us when the Nornar have decreed. Some of us are lucky enough to hear the creaking of the hinges ahead of time, so we can prepare ourselves.

“Come, sit here with me for a bit before you leave.” Ingrid drew her to the chairs nestled close to the hearth. “Let us speak of another part of life. Love. Haldor should be back from his trip tonight. You must be excited at the thought of his return.”

Selena sighed. “I am. But I’m nervous too. He’s been…different lately. Always gone, either out hunting or at council meetings that last all day and into the night. And when he’s home, he’s been distant. Hardly speaking sometimes.”

Ingrid patted her hand, nodding. “It’s hard sometimes, meshing your life with that of another soul. Much as you may wish to be close, there are often times when you’re moving to the beat of different caribou skin drums.”

The old woman stopped, regarded her with those sharp eyes. “May I speak frankly, child?”

“Yes, please do.”

“Sexual attraction is something out of our control. We’re each drawn to a certain kind of person. Some men, for example, lust after slender bodies and fair hair. Other men…” Ingrid’s eyes twinkled. “Well, let’s just say the Nornar have been gracious enough to some of us to instill a desire in them for sweet soft curves a man can sink into on a cold night. And each woman has her own idea of physical perfection.”

She gave Selena an impish grin. “Though I don’t know even one who doesn’t enjoy the sight of a muscular bare chest. But once that lust has been satisfied, love – well, that’s a decision. Love is a choice you make every day. Now, don’t get me wrong, dear. A healthy dose of lust is part of the potion for true long-lasting love. But there’s so much more. Friendship and laughter, trust, mutual respect…and simply enjoying each other’s company. Forgiving huge mistakes as readily as small slights. Being quick to admit you were wrong and slow to anger.

“I know something of Earth and its customs,” she went on. “Long ago, your people dedicated an entire day on their calendar to celebrating love in all its forms, bringing light to one of the darkest days of the year. They exchanged notes and sweet treats, often in the shape of hearts, to show their affection for each other.”

“I’ve heard of it.” Selena replied. “Valentine’s Day. Another of those archaic customs we’ve done away with.”

Ingrid gave her a shrewd glance. “Is it? Your heart is open now, child. Look inside and ask yourself whether a day devoted to expressing your love to those who mean the most to you can ever be considered a foolish, outdated concept.”

Selena nodded slowly. “You’re right. There are so many beliefs I was raised with that I simply take for granted, even now.”

“We all do, child. We accept them as truth, as ‘the way things are.’ But becoming your own person means looking at every aspect of your life and deciding for yourself what is true for you and what is not.

“Here’s a truth I came to accept long ago, one that has served me well. Whenever you feel unloved and ignored, instead of saying ‘He isn’t giving enough to me,’ that’s the time to look at yourself and ask, ‘How much am I giving to him’?”

Chapter Seven

Heedless of the cold, Selena spent a long time sitting on a stone bench in the snow-covered garden when she left, thinking about what Ingrid had said.

Maybe she’s right. Maybe I’ve been so wrapped up in what he’s not giving me, I’ve ignored how cold and distant I’ve become. Building walls up around myself so I can’t be hurt. I don’t know what’s changed in him, what he’s going through. But withdrawing my affection isn’t the way to support him and show my love.

Mind made up, she strode into the palace to find her friend.

“Talia, I’m going home. Right now. Haldor said he’ll be back tonight, and I’ve decided to surprise him. Greet him with his favorite meal and a mug of honey mead in front of a roaring fire.”

“You shouldn’t travel alone. Wait till the council meeting is over, and Kylar can go with you. See you safely home.”

“Don’t be silly. It’s not that far. Besides, I have so much to do before he arrives. If I wait, I’ll never get it all done. When he arrives at the palace to pick me up, you can tell him I’m waiting for him at home.”

She tossed a few things into a small bag and set out, excited. She’d get the rest of her clothes later. Hurrying down the streets toward the edge of town, Selena was so caught up in her plans she barely noticed the snow starting to fall. But the wind had picked up, and she wished she’d changed into a heavier gown under her fur-lined cloak before leaving.

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