Page 9 of Shameless

“He’s dumped me here. Again.”

Selena perched on the edge of an ornate cushioned bench, staring glumly into the fire. “Gone off somewhere. Says he’ll be back by half-moon. But he won’t tell me anything more. Just closes up like one of those giant Bacrian swamp clams if I ask him any questions.”

Talia sat beside her, one hand absentmindedly stroking her belly. “Well, I’m happy to have you here. You’re welcome to stay as long as you want. I can’t get out as much as I’d like and even in the palace, life gets dreary in the winter. I’m grateful for the company.

“This one…” She patted her enormous bulge. “I’m sure it’s a boy because he’s already so active he keeps me up half the night. Then I’m so tired I can barely stay awake during dinner in the Great Hall, let alone spend hours on all the activities I’m expected to oversee. After Kylar and I were married, Astrid happily handed over most of the obligations she inherited when her mother died. It’s only fitting since I’m the one who will be queen someday.”

Talia laughed. “Queen! It still sounds absurd. Unreal. I remember the day I arrived here on Gadolinium. I stepped out of the star portal into utter chaos. The city deserted, Tabun roaming the streets. All I wanted to do was turn around and teleport straight back to Earth. Now – I can’t imagine spending my life anywhere else.” She reached for Selena’s hand. “I can see that you’re upset. Tell me what’s going on.”

“I don’t know if I can stay here, Talia. On Gadolinium. It’s so cold and dark most of the time. I love Haldor. But I’m not sure it’s enough. He’s gone so often. If he’s not out hunting, he’s at another one of those endless council meetings. I try to keep busy, but there’s only so much I can find to do around the house. I miss my work back on Earth, miss feeling useful. And when we’re together, when we’re not…”

She paused, still embarrassed at saying the words out loud. “When we’re not making love, lately he seems like a different person. Distant. Closed off. Pretty soon I find myself responding the same way. After all, it’s easier.”

Talia nodded. “Of course. It’s the way we were raised, you and I.”

“But I don’t want to be that person anymore! I like the woman I’ve become since I’ve been with him. I laugh; I even cry sometimes. And that’s good. Ifeelthings now. Those artificial hormones we took on Earth turned us into nothing more than cyborgs. Calm, yes. Rational? Definitely. And barely alive. I don’t want to go back to Earth. To that life. But being here, feeling alone and unloved much of the time… It hurts. I don’t know how much longer I can bear it…”

“May I offer some advice?”

Selena nodded, and Talia went on. “When I first came here, I depended on Kylar’s sister Astrid to give me advice. She was wonderful. So open, so caring. But she was young. If I learned one thing in my training in the diplomatic corps, it’s that some knowledge comes only with age. That’s why so many cultures revere the wisdom of their old women.

“You know our sister planet Iridia was settled by Anasazi Indians. They migrated from Earth long ago, even before the Vikings came here to Gadolinium. Iridian warriors are known for being strong and fierce. But they follow an ancient Anasazi custom. When tensions rise and conflict breaks out between one tribe and another, the tribal council convenes. They debate going to war, with every warrior having his say. Then they vote. If every man agrees that war is the only answer, they do one more thing before charging into battle.”

“What’s that?”

“They go to the oldest woman in the tribe, the one they all call Mother, and lay their case out before her. If she agrees with their decision, they declare war. But if she doesn’t, no matter how hot their blood boils in seeking vengeance, they are not allowed to solve their conflict by fighting. They must reconvene the council and find another way to settle their differences.”

Talia laughed and shook her head. “I’m sorry. I’ve slipped into my ‘lecturer’ mode. Along with the rest of my duties, Kylar asked me to teach a class on interplanetary relations to our young men and women. It’s become one of my favorite things to do here. Challenging their minds, opening them to new ideas from new worlds. Guiding them in learning how to choose which to embrace and which to shun.

“I’m taking a long time to get to my point. My advice to you is this – go to someone else for advice. Someone wiser. I’ve only been here a short while longer than you have. I’m still learning Gadolinian ways. There’s one person I’d trust to give me counsel if I had a decision to make as big as the one you’re facing.”

“Who’s that?”

“Kylar’s old nanny, Ingrid. And I do mean old. She actually served as King Sigrun’s nanny, if you can imagine that. She raised him, and then Kylar and Haldor as well, after Queen Astra died. She’s here in the palace, still divides her time between the nursery and her healing practice. She’s been around a long time – and she knows your man better than anyone.

“I have an idea,” Talia added, sounding excited. “You need something to do. Why don’t you help Ingrid with her medical practice? You’re certainly qualified. You know more about healing the human body than anyone on this planet. You could get to know her, maybe even trust her enough to confide in her. I really think you’d find her perspective helpful.”

“I know how to operate machines that heal. But you don’t have modern technology here. I’m not sure I’d be of any use.”

“Well then, maybe you’d learn something new yourself,” Talia replied, her tone less gentle and more matter-of-fact. “Besides, as you said, you don’t have anything better to do.”

Selena sighed. “You’re right. I might as well do something useful instead of sitting around feeling sorry for myself.”

Chapter Five

Later that day, Selena found her way to a small suite of rooms behind the enormous kitchen at the rear of the palace. It had a private entrance through the walled garden, now blanketed with snow.

She clutched the fur-lined cloak Haldor had given her tighter around her with one hand and rapped at the arched wooden door with the other.

The door creaked open. Selena found herself face to face with a figure that could have stepped out of one of the murals on the palace wall. The one depicting the Nornar, those three goddesses, ancient witches all, who determined the fate of every Viking babe.

Unlike the other Gadolinian women, she barely reached Selena’s shoulders. The shapeless black gown trailing on the floor hinted that the years had robbed her of height. Wrinkled hands with prominent blue veins poked out of the long sleeves. Her face was hidden by the dark hood of the gown pulled up to cover her head.

“Come in, child.” Her voice was surprisingly strong.

The woman ushered her inside and pushed back her hood to reveal a crown of silver braids wound around her head in an elaborate design. When she cocked her head up to meet her visitor’s eyes, Selena stifled a gasp.

That face. She’d never seen so many wrinkles. On Earth, people routinely lived 180 years or more. But hormonal injections kept them looking young till they’d gone well past their first century. They aged gradually. Gently.

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