Page 47 of There I Find Hope

She was staring at their hands, and he looked down as well, liking the way that looked. Her fingers together with his.

Chapter 18

Dear Business Boy,

I can’t believe how much better I feel.

I adopted an orphan foal that was born on my brother’s farm. At night, he and his family get up and feed her, and I feed her every two to three hours during the day.

I just love that she lost her mother and I lost my son, and God brought us together. I feel like it’s a very beautiful thing, and He did it just for me. Oh, and maybe for Hope too.

That’s what I named the baby, Hope.

Anyway, I appreciate your letters. They’ve been so helpful to me as I slowly form a new normal. You, and someone that I’ve been seeing, just as a friend, of course. But he’s been there, beside me. You know? When you’re lonely, and you don’t want someone barging into your life and pushing hard, you just need...a companion. Someone who seems to understand, or if they don’t understand, someone who is willing to wait until you show them enough that they do.

Anyway, I guess I’m not explaining that very well.

But on a different note, I want to talk to my mom about the idea of selling the bed-and-breakfast. I think that she would like to on the one hand, but on the other, I can see her wondering what in the world she was going to do. I mean, she could be a full-time grandma. She loves that job. But she likes to stay busy as well. I... I feel like she might be a little at loose ends if she didn’t have the bed-and-breakfast to keep her busy.

So, you said you were in business. What kind of business do you do? My friend builds hotels apparently. I guess he and I haven’t really talked much about him either. It’s all about me.

Maybe not all about me. He’s interested in Strawberry Sands, because he’s moving here.

Sorry. Somehow, I keep going back to that subject. You know how it is when you keep thinking about someone? It’s actually gotten to the point where I feel a little guilty because I don’t think about Blake nearly like I think I should, and I think about my friend a lot more.

I feel like I’m doing Blake a disservice if he’s not in my mind constantly. And maybe there’s a part of me that’s a little afraid that I’ll forget about him. I don’t want to. I want to always remember him forever and ever.

But at the same time, I want to move on with my life. Is that normal?

Anyway, I see you in a corporate office somewhere, wearing a suit and tie, with your shiny shoes propped up on your desk, as you hold the phone to your ear and work on your laptop at the same time. Is that an accurate picture?

If you want to picture me... I’ll warn you this is going to be graphic. I’ll be cleaning in my mom’s B&B. Probably up to my elbows in the toilet, sweat dripping off my nose, my face beet red because I’m so hot, and I’ll look over at my phone and see a text from my mom that says, “They’re here! They’re two hours early! Is the room done?”

And then picture me speed cleaning, using Clorox liberally, and trying to make sure I get everything sanitized.

That’s my job.

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