Page 86 of The Truths We Seek

Downside, I went back to that house and it’s haunted me the entire drive here.

Albeit that’s like, forty-five minutes, but it feels a hell of a lot longer.

And now I’m here, where my nightmares began, and I feel about seven years old again. Like I’m going to be in trouble when I walk through that door and the beating might be one that I don’t survive. Even though all I ever wanted was love.

To be loved.

To be seen.

To just be happy.

“You ready?” Hunter asks as he shuts off the engine to my crappy old car.

I take a deep breath and open my door. “No, but let’s do this anyway.” Climbing from the car before I can change my mind, I round the car and walk down the broken path to the front door. Hunter is a step behind me, his hand on my hip as I lift my own to knock on the door.

I hear the shouting before my hand is even back at my side and I wince. All the therapy in the world couldn’t have prepared me for coming back here, having this conversation.

The door is wrenched open and I find my dad snarling down at me. His skin is pale, eyes sunken. He looks like he’s dying. “What the fuck do you want?”

Hunter tenses beside me, tucking me into his side, protecting me from the man before us.

“Good to see you too,” I sigh. “We need to talk.”

“Who is it?” I hear my mom screech before she appears behind him. “Oh, it’s you.”

“We have nothing to say to you,” my dad says before eyeing up Hunter, as if finally realizing he’s there.

Hunter straightens and puts a hand on the door as my dad tries to close it. “She said we need to talk, so you’re going to invite us in, sit the fuck down, and answer her questions.”

My dad startles, like he’s not used to anyone speaking to him like that—and I guess he probably isn’t. He visibly gulps before shrugging like he’s unbothered and walks away from us. My mom is still just standing to the side, watching us.

“You too,” Hunter growls at her and she scuttles along after my dad.

Watching them now, it’s hard to picture them as they were. So terrifying. The people who were supposed to love me but tormented me instead. The monsters in my nightmares.

It’s hard to see them this way and not wonder how I found them so scary, but I know that small me saw them very differently.

They were different.

I guess all of the substance abuse is finally showing on them.

Once we’re inside, Hunter closes the door while I look around the sitting room. It hasn’t changed. Even the couch is the same threadbare, beat up brown monstrosity that was here the day I left.

“Sit,” Hunter barks, and the two of them startle before sitting. He looks over at me, warmth flooding back into his eyes, and I let out a breath. It’s the first time I remember feeling entirely safe when someone is noticeably angry. Because I know he’s not angry at me. He makes me feel safe.

And that is everything.

I pull strength from knowing that he loves me and start with my questions.

“Are you my parents?”

They both look at me like I’ve lost my mind, then start laughing.

Hunter moves to my side, not blocking me this time, just adding his presence to mine, letting me lean on him. “She asked you a fucking question.”

“Pay us,” my dad says boldly, jutting out his chin. “I see your fancy clothes. You want answers, we want money.”

“Done,” Hunter snaps and my mom starts laughing again. “If you don’t shut off that fucking barking, I’ll break your goddamn jaw. Now answer her.”

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