Page 63 of The Truths We Seek

“Of course it does. All of the calories, Belleza.”

Laughing again as I leave, I feel lighter than I have in weeks. I sip away on the smoothie as I head down to the gym. Unsurprisingly, it’s empty. The guys all get up at the ass crack of dawn, to do what? I have no idea, but after talking to Shae, I get the feeling that ignorance might just be bliss with their business.

It’s not that I don’t want to know, quite the opposite, but I’m starting to realize from the letter left to me, that he kept some things from me for my own good.

Turning on the lights, I hook my new phone up to the speakers and blast Do or Die by Natalie Jane as I start up the treadmill.

I spend the next hour losing myself to doing intermittent sprints and lifting weights. The joys of down time is the rabbit hole I went down trying to make my body healthier. The distractions I’ve dreamt up while trying not to lose myself to grief have been wild and wonderful, but also, useful.

Finishing a set of hip thrusts and pushing the barbell off the mats, I lie back on them, chest heaving. Whoever said that cardio was the best way to work up a sweat was lying. Lifting makes my heart and lungs work just as hard as running.

“You look exhausted.” I push up onto my elbows and find Meyer in a pair of sweats and no top. Just a smirk on his face. “I guess my idea of coming down here to get a workout in with you are squandered.”

The look in his eyes as he drinks in the sight of me in shorts and a sports bra, even when I’m sweaty, is intoxicating.

“Oh, I don’t know if I’d say I’m exhausted. What sort of workout did you have in mind?” It’s been a hot minute since he came to me like this, all hot and teasing, and well... I’m only human. Just thinking about him working me out is enough to make my mouth water.

Other things too.

“I don’t know. I had a pretty vigorous workout in mind.” His eyes sparkle as he stalks over to me, dropping to his knees before climbing on top of me, caging me beneath him. “But I’m sure I can encourage you to expend the energy.”

He ducks down, kissing my neck, working down my collarbone to tease the skin along the top of where my bra sits. A gasp slips from my lips as I grip his forearms when he bites down on my nipple beneath the material.

Fuck yes, I need this.

Need him.

His fingers grip the top of my bra and pull it down enough to pop my tits out right over the top, trapping me in the most erotic of ways.

The intensity in his gaze roaming all over me, from my tits to my exposed stomach right back up to my hardened nipples, is making me instantly wet. There's no denying he knows exactly what he's doing.

"Hip thrusts, huh? Seems fitting." Meyer takes out a knife from the back pocket of his sweatpants and raises his gaze to mine. A challenging glint in his eye that's this side of evil dares me to deny him his fun.

I'm pretty sure I know what he's going to do, but any hope that he'll be gentle with my belongings dies a silent death as he brings the knife to my shorts and places the sharp blade at the waist, cutting all the way down until there's nothing between him and what he wants.

And what he wants is now on full view for his eating pleasure.

Spreading my legs wider and pushing my chest higher as I arch my back, I taunt him. I like him on the edge of his control when he's at the border between faintly aware of his humanity and completely overtaken by his obsessions. One of which is me.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, teasing me with your cunt wide open is a dangerous, dangerous game." His words are at complete odds with the spark in his eyes, the one that says playing with me is the only thing that truly makes him happy.

"I can handle your kind of danger." I'm so close to the fire that I wouldn’t be surprised if he said fuck it and devoured every inch of me until there's nothing left.

The worst part is that I'm okay with that.

Flipping his knife around, he pushes the handle inside my pussy and fucks me with it like he's fucking me with a dildo. The move is quick and surprising, not giving me the time to anticipate.

I did ask for it so I'm not complaining. Not in the least.

When he pushes the knife as far as it'll go without actually inserting the blade, he stops, watching me as my pants become more and more pronounced, my chest heaving uncontrollably.

"Do you trust me?" Fuck, that's a double-edged sword, right there.

On the one hand, I trust him with my life in any circumstance, but on the other, he's fucking crazy in all the best of ways and when he gets an idea in his head, it's not always something predictable or... sane.

"Yes." Fuck it. In for a penny, I guess.

Meyer leans in, his eyes solely on me, and pinches my clit between his teeth, making sure to give me that ounce of pain that always drives me to the brink of orgasm faster than I can say, "fuck me."

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