Page 56 of The Truths We Seek

I’m never going to see him again, hear his grouchy voice again, witness him bitch me out for something small, or see the joy on his face when he puts a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top of his coffee in the evening.

Fuck.

He’s really gone and he’s not coming back.

I don’t know how to do this without you, Tommy.

I push the paper away and fall back onto my pillows, curling up into a ball as the sobs wrack my body. He might have told me not to waste tears on him, but they’re not a waste at all.

Nothing about him was.

He was the only dad I ever got to have and he was ripped away from me too soon.

By the monster he was protecting me from.

One day, I’ll want revenge, but today, all I have is utter devastation at the fact that I’ll never have the chance to finish the list with him.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

After crying so much that not even splashing my face with cold water half a dozen times is enough to hide how red and puffy I am, I head downstairs in my hoodie, shorts, and a pair of fluffy socks I found tucked away in the depths of my stuff, finding all three of my guys in the sitting room.

It startles me for a second because they’re all sitting around, chill, watching a football game, with beers. I didn’t even realize they liked football…

I really need to start paying attention and being present, because that’s a little shameful.

Rory is the first to notice me standing in the doorway—which, in reality, is way less of a shock, all things considered—and the ease slips from him instantly as he stands. “What’s wrong?”

The other two turn, looking ready to launch into action, and guilt trickles through me. “Nothing’s wrong,” I start, trying to wave them off. “Calm down, you were enjoying your night. I’ll find you guys tomorrow.”

“You don’t want to come relax with us?” Hunter asks, sounding a little hurt, but the smile in his eyes lets me know he’s only teasing.

“Football has never really been my thing.”

“You mean you’ve never tried it,” he teases again.

“You’ve been crying,” Rory interjects, raising his brows at me, still not having sat back down.

I nod, shrugging before wrapping my arms around my middle. “I read Tommy’s letter.”

“Oh, Kitten,” Meyer says softly. “Are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine. I have questions—”

“Shocker.” Hunter snorts before picking up his beer again and turning back to the game. I flip him the finger and he laughs again, obviously catching the movement.

Rory sits back down in his chair and Meyer pats the cushion next to him on the sofa. “Come sit. We’ll teach you how the game works, and when you’re ready, you can ask questions.”

“After the game,” Hunter adds on and I roll my eyes before heading over and settling onto the sofa next to Meyer. It’s always funny to me that there’s always like, a dozen chairs and sofas in all of their lounging areas. Other than the guards, there are rarely people here, but they have enough seating for a literal football team.

Rory watches me instead of the game so I blow him a kiss, trying to reassure him that I really am okay, even if I feel a little dramatic after that entrance. He eventually relaxes his shoulders and sinks back into his seat, picking up his drink before turning his attention back to the game.

I try to watch along with them, but clueless is an understatement. Figuring out what the different lines on the field mean, why grown men run at each other to battle over a ball before running like their ass is on fire toward a giant H is… well, I just don’t really understand it. And they have breaks. A lot. Aren’t they supposed to run around for like, hours? Or is that a different game?

Officially clueless.

Even with Meyer trying to explain why they shout or cheer at the screen like armchair coaches.

Eventually, O’Connor, Tonio, and Bruno join us and even Shae swings by at some point and offers to rescue me, but I decline the offer. Despite not knowing what’s going on, this feels… dare I say, normal. It’s entirely different from how I’ve seen them before.

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