Page 26 of The Truths We Seek

I cackle at his nickname and head to the treadmill. Tomorrow is going to suck, but I’m going to cling to these moments of joy with both hands. Tommy didn’t sacrifice for me to not embrace the best parts of life, and I refuse to muddy his memory by letting the grief overwhelm me.

Once I finish my workout, it’s lunchtime and Bruno follows me to the kitchen where Carlos is cooking up a storm. Instead of interrupting him, I make my way to the fridge and pull out a ton of fruit to make myself a smoothie, along with leftovers from dinner last night. A smoothie is great, but it’s not going to fill me up even a little.

“No eating! Shae will be home shortly and I’m making lunch for everyone!” Carlos says as he sees the leftovers in my hand.

“I didn’t think she was home till later?” I question, glancing over at Bruno, who shrugs in response. Putting the leftovers back, I make a protein smoothie and head upstairs to shower. If Shae is home soon, then I need to not be sweaty and gross. Especially if there’s some big lunch thing.

I wonder if Meyer’s mom will be here too.

It would make sense for everyone to be home for the funeral. It occurs to me that I haven’t seen Mateo since everything with Trent and add it to my mental list of things to ask Meyer about.

“I’ll wait out here,” Bruno says as I open the door to my room. I’d almost forgotten what it’s like having a permanent living shadow.

“Right, yeah. Okay. I won’t be long.” I say a little awkwardly before closing my door and chugging back the shake before heading to the bathroom. I make quick work of the shower before drying my hair and getting dressed in a pair of jeans and a cute sweater. My phone buzzes on my dresser as I put my hair up in a ponytail.

Shae

Bitch, you better not be hiding.

I laugh, shaking my head as I type back.

Me

Not hiding, just showering. You home?

Shae

You think I wouldn’t have just barged in if I was home? We’re just coming up the driveway. Tomorrow we get to be all in our emotions and sad. Today… Let’s just enjoy the family we have with us.

Tears prick at my eyes, but I blink them back.

Me

I will try my best. For you.

Shae

Yeah you will. See you in a min!

I pocket my phone, take a deep breath, and wipe my eyes.

We got this.

Tommy would want this. He’d hate to know that I was moping around because he was gone. Especially since he died trying to ensure that the life I’ve been building was one I got to keep.

Steeling myself, telling myself that little mantra on a loop, I head downstairs with Bruno a few steps behind me. Just as I make it to the bottom step, the door swings open and Shae stands in the entrance, hands on her hips, floppy hat on her head, and a giant grin on her face.

“I’m back, bitches.”

* * *

Morning comes quicker than I’d like, and despite the icy chill outside, the sun is shining and the skies are clear. It’s a beautiful day to say goodbye to someone you love.

Tommy used to tell me mornings like this were his favorite, that he could bundle up, but still enjoy the brightness of the day on his morning walks. It seems fitting that the world graces us with his favorite morning for this day.

I’ve cried a dozen times already, mostly in the privacy of my room or the shower. Everyone here is grieving and today is going to be hard for us all. Meyer has his mom and Shae to worry about, so I don’t want to add to that burden.

Lunch yesterday was great, even if it did feel a little weird playing happy families with today hanging over us, but Shae seemed to have a good afternoon at least. I tapped out early, the smile on my face hurting my cheeks and the mental exhaustion too much to keep pretending that today wasn’t happening.

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