Page 18 of The Truths We Seek

God knows I desperately need a little joy right now. It’s not like I don’t know the fear and guilt will be back soon, it always comes back, which is exactly why I’m enjoying these moments of peace right now. The joy is fleeting, but it means so much.

The song finishes but I keep shaking my ass as I scrub the backsplash behind the stove top, hoping for something just as upbeat to pop up on the playlist.

“You look like you’re having fun.”

I let out a squeak as I startle, turning to find Meyer leaning up against the kitchen door frame, watching me with a smirk on his face. Pressing my hand to my chest, I let out the breath that caught and roll my eyes at him. “You move like a ninja.”

“No,” he says as he stands, shaking his head and moving to the panel on the wall controlling the speakers in the room that my phone is hooked up to and turning down the volume. “You were just lost in the music. It was nice to see. You smiling. It hasn’t happened all that much lately.”

“More since I met you guys,” I tell him with a shrug, a weird kind of embarrassment curling up inside of me as heat spills across my chest and creeps into my cheeks. “I never smiled for real before then. It was all a mask.”

He moves closer, capturing my cheek with his hand, stroking my reddened skin with his thumb. “I hope that all of your fake smiles are in the past.”

“Me too,” I admit, softly, as I give him another small smile before leaning up on tiptoe and kissing his cheek. “Busy day?”

A shadow darkens his eyes as a frown momentarily appears on his face. In a blink, it’s gone, but I swallow down the unease that rises with it. What he does comes with a lot of things I have no idea about… yet.

“Not really. A few things to deal with this morning, so unless something major comes up, I’ll be home all day. I’ll be in the office if you need me. And don’t clean too much. Carlos will curse you out if you fuck with his kitchen.”

A laugh spills from my lips at his teasing and I raise my hand in a scout salute. “I solemnly swear not to fuck with his kitchen.”

The smirk returns to his face, wider than before, and reaches his eyes. “You were no Girl Scout, and I don’t believe your oath either, but I decided weeks ago that I wasn’t getting between you two. You seem to love to antagonize each other, and who am I to stand in the way of such joy?”

“It’s fun. He makes it so easy.” I wink at him and he barks out a laugh.

“I’m sure he does. Have you had breakfast?”

Nodding, I turn back to the counter I was cleaning and grab my cloth. “Yeah, I made eggs. You want something?”

“Thank you, but no. I just need coffee this morning.” He moves to the coffee machine and starts making his drink, so I turn my attention back to what I was doing. “I’m going to speak to the doctor today to see when Hunter can come home, and I should get a confirmed date of when Shae is back too. I’ll let you know as soon as I know.”

I twist so he can see my grin. There is something so… uplifting about actually being kept in the loop, in them treating me like an adult. They’re equal, at least outside of the business stuff, but that will come. Meyer already said it would, and he’s not the kind of guy to break his word. “Thank you.”

“Anything to keep you happy and smiling.” The light in his eyes falters again, but I try not to hold on to it. I have too much to look forward to with Hunter and Shae coming home. Does that make me selfish? Maybe. Or maybe, as my therapist would say, I only feel that it’s selfish because I’m so used to putting everyone else’s needs and feelings before mine.

Who knows?

What I do know is I feel lighter today than I have in a long time, and I’m going to protect that small piece of joy with everything I have.

Meyer moves back toward me and kisses the bare skin of my shoulder. “I’ll see you soon. Come find me if you get bored.”

“I will,” I murmur in response. The feel of his skin on mine, even just that small contact, makes my body come alive and steals my breath.

He leaves the room, turning the volume of the music back up as he goes, and I shake my ass again to Save My Life by The Band CAMINO, wondering if this is what normal feels like.

* * *

The day passed in a blink. Rory took me to visit Hunter, Meyer confirmed Shae will be home next week, and it’s just been… well, a normal day.

It’s a little weird, but I’m sitting in the family room curled up on the sofa with a blanket, Rory at the other end, with Meyer parked in the chair beside him. The fire crackles opposite, the two of them talking about God only knows what, while I listen to a podcast about different types of therapy healing.

It’s not exactly thrilling, but I’m here to do the work.

Taking a sip of my hot chocolate, I let out a contented sigh.

Who knew normal could be so… quiet?

“It’s time,” Rory says, snagging my attention, and I lift my gaze from the fire to the two of them. Meyer runs a hand through his hair and my stomach twists. I’m starting to learn their tells, and him doing that means he doesn’t want to do something.

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