Page 15 of The Truths We Seek

Fuck me, I’m a selfish bitch.

Rob climbs from the car without a word, and once the door closes, Rory starts to speak. “I’m fine. Seen and survived worse. You are my main concern, Quinn.”

“But Hunter—”

“No, Quinn. You. Hunter has been through shit before. Was it hairy for a minute? Undoubtedly, but he’s stable. He’ll be pissed that Trent did what he did, but otherwise he’ll be fine. Mostly. You though… what you went through, after everything, and now Hunter. I’m worried about you.”

“I’m fine,” I say quietly, glancing down at my clasped hands. “I still haven’t heard back from Tommy, but I’m sure he’ll respond soon enough. Now, can we please go see Hunter?”

I don’t look back up at him, because I don’t want him to see the pain, guilt, and worry in my eyes. He always reads me too easily and I know I’m not hiding it very well right now.

“Quinn,” he starts, but I shake my head.

“Please, can we just go in?” I plead, needing to see Hunter for myself.

“Okay, Jellybean. Let’s go see Hunter. But we’re not finished with this conversation, understand?”

Finally, I look up, catching his gaze in the mirror again. “I understand.”

He holds my gaze for a moment before nodding and reaching for the door. I follow suit and climb from the car. He takes my hand the minute I’m beside him and I can’t decide if I’m clinging to him, or if he’s clinging to me.

Either way, the hold grounds me and the world doesn’t seem quite so terrifying with him at my side.

I feel like everything with Trent has put me back so freaking far. That him finally finding me confirmed every insecurity and fear that existed inside of me. Giving voice and power to that monster that lives within me.

Quieting it now is exhausting, like I’m almost doubting myself, because the monster was right before.

Trent did find me.

The worst did happen.

How am I supposed to be able to trust that the monster isn’t right about everything else?

Rory squeezes my hand, as if he knows the monster is winning, as we walk through the entrance of the hospital, following Rob through the maze of halls until we reach the elevator. Nerves rush through me as the doors close on us and we head up toward the floor where Hunter is being held.

The ding makes me jump when we reach the seventh floor, and when the doors open, I’m surprised by how quiet and empty it is. I look over at Rory, then over to Rob, who shrugs before exiting. We follow behind him again as he leads us down another maze of halls. We pass nurses and people I assume are other visitors, but everyone is quiet as a mouse.

It’s weird and kind of eerie.

It’s only when I see Meyer down the hall, phone pressed to his ear, that the feeling leaves. He keeps his voice low, but when he sees us, his eyes widen. “I need to go.”

Without a pause, he ends the call and strides toward us. I move straight to his open arms. He looks as exhausted as I worried he would, but that doesn’t stop him from holding me so tight that I know just how worried he’s been. I don’t struggle or say a word, I just let him hold me like that for as long as he needs to, with my face buried in his neck.

The sound of footsteps and a door opening and closing is enough to tell me that Rob and Rory have given us some space.

“I am so sorry, Quinn.” His voice is scratchy, little more than a whisper, but my heart shatters.

“You? Why on Earth are you sorry, Meyer?” I ask, pulling back, searching his face for answers I’m not sure he’ll give me.

“This is all my fault. I should’ve kept better track of Trent. I dropped the ball. All of this, what happened to you and Hunter, is because of me. You will never know how sorry I am, and I’ll understand if you don’t forgive me, but know I’m going to spend as long as you’ll let me trying to earn your trust and forgiveness back.”

I stare at him, mouth agape, blinking. “Are you shitting me?”

He looks shocked at my response, but there’s no way in Hell he’s more shocked than I am. “None of this is your fault, Meyer. I brought this problem to your door. Trent was here for me. If we’re not blaming Trent, then the blame sits with me.”

“No—”

“It’s not on you, Meyer. There’s nothing to forgive,” I say, cutting him off. I open my mouth to keep speaking but the door behind him opens and Rory’s head pops out.

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