Page 6 of The Secret of Pain

I yelled for him to come to the phone, and he ran in from the shed, his face pale. It was like he knew. He picked the phone up off the counter and I went to the oven to pull the cookies out. His cry rang out around us as he fell to his knees, and the guys all came running in. My father doesn’t cry. Ever. But it was the noise he made, like a wounded animal close to death. His hands shook as Bauer took the phone from him and raised it to his ear. He listened before mumbling his acknowledgement and hung the phone back on the hook.

Bauer grabbed the keys to his truck, his twenty-first birthday present from Mom and Dad earlier that year, and lifted my dad off the floor. Colt took Dad’s other side without any word.

“There’s been an accident; we need to get to the hospital,” Bauer said calmly, and my dad just stood there like he was numb. I remember putting the cookie tray down and burning my hand, but not thinking much of it because it was obvious something really fucking bad was happening.

The ride to the hospital took what felt like forever, cramped in the back with Fallon, Creek, and Colt while Dad sat up front as Bauer drove. I don’t remember seeing anything of significance until we got to the hospital. Bauer led the charge while my dad was completely spaced. Creek and Colt walked with him until we saw Maddie and it was like Dad came back to life. She strode right up to him, and he hugged her tight.

“She’s in surgery but, Denny, it’s not good,” she said, her voice breaking on the words. A nurse led us all to a waiting area, and I sat there, one hand in Creek’s, the other in Fallon’s, just waiting. No one said it, but it was obvious.

I felt a tug at my heart, and tears fell from my eyes. I knew right then, without anyone even telling me. A few minutes later a doctor arrived and took my dad and Maddie aside. That was the only time I’ve ever seen my dad cry.

My mom was gone. I felt it.

Maddie came back into the room and crouched down in front of me, calling Colt over, while Bauer went to my dad.

“I am so sorry,” her voice cracked, and the tears ran faster down my face.

So today, on my twentieth birthday, I’m sitting in bed, like I do most birthdays until my family dinner tonight. I do the same each year—it’s how my birthday dinner tradition started, even though Colt and Creek have disappeared off the face of the Earth this year. This year could go eat shit. The only good thing about it so far has been Jack. He’s been my rock, especially since those two split. Colt’s been gone thirteen months, and Creek, well, he up and disappeared just after his birthday a month ago. I haven’t heard shit from either of them, but I know they’re together from Maddie and Dad.

Asshats.

“Babe? You up?” Jack’s voice rings out through my apartment. I grumble incoherently back, but I hear his laugh as his footsteps get louder. “Come on, it’s your birthday, and I made breakfast.”

The comforter is ripped away from me and I groan at the sudden onslaught of light. I guess he opened the damn blinds too.

“Happy birthday, beautiful.” He leans down and kisses me and despite me hating my morning breath, he doesn’t seem to care. He pulls away and grabs a mug from my dresser and hands it to me, full of the bitter black nectar that is the way to my heart.

“Thank you.” I murmur happily and smile.

“You’re welcome. Now come eat breakfast. I hate that I have to work today, but tomorrow, we celebrate. I know it’s not a good time of year for you, but we should try to make some good memories. Your mom wouldn’t want you to be sad forever.” I shrug noncommittally. This entire week is my most hated time every year.

After a crappy day, and an even worse night’s sleep, I wake up to find my suitcase in his car along with his and we drive for hours out to his parents’ cabin on the lake. The entire place is surrounded by mountains. Its beauty is almost indescribable, and yet I feel nothing but hollow. Jack's smiles and laughter ring out around me as we pull up to the cabin, and I paint a smile on my face, but I can’t feel it.

“Come on, babe, this is going to be amazing. Just you, me, and the lake. There’s even a hot tub out back.” He winks before climbing out of the car.

Taking a deep breath, I will myself to feel something. Anything. For Jack’s sake more than mine. I know he’s trying to do something nice for me, but this just isn’t me. I’m not a luxury cabin in the woods kinda girl. Especially not this week. I pull myself together and climb out of the car to join him as he opens up the cabin door. Though, I’m not sure cabin is the right word for this place. Lake house maybe? It’s all wood and glass, open spaces, and so freaking modern.

My cell pings in my pocket and Jack is in front of me in a heartbeat, his hand out. “No cell phones while we’re here, babe. This is us time.”

I hand over my phone, trying not to roll my eyes, because phone or not, I’m probably not going to be great company this week.

We spend the week hiking, going out on the lake, having picnics, and just trying to enjoy the time together, and while I’m not exactly party central, I do lose myself to it all a little.

I spend the entire week trying, but today is the day, and it’s the day we’re going home. I have dinner with my dad tonight, same as every year.

“Come on, babe. Let’s just go for one more quick walk, and then we’ll head off,” Jack says with a playful smile. I’m reluctant, because I don’t want to be late to see Dad and Bauer, but I smile because I can see how hard he’s trying. I grab my jacket and follow his lead out to the trails.

We walk for about half an hour when Jack veers off the track and pulls me with him out on to a vista, looking down over the lake.

It’s so peaceful.

“This is beautiful,” I tell him softly. Mom would have loved this place.

“You are beautiful, Remy, even in your darkest moments. Even then, you are all that is light and right in this world. I knew it the moment I saw you, even in that dingy little dive bar, with the worst live music I’ve heard in my entire life. I knew then what I know now, and nothing has changed since that moment. I love you, Remington Bennett, and I will love you always.” He takes a deep breath and goes down on one knee. Horror and happiness clash inside me. What is he doing? Why now? Why today?

“So today, on your darkest day, I want to be that light for you. For now, and for always. Will you, Remington, do me the honor of being my wife?” He looks up at me, so hopeful and full of love. I feel myself nodding, saying yes, but it’s like I’m not myself. Not today. Why today? But if it was any other day, I’d be really happy, and so I find myself agreeing and kissing him. Because I do love him. I do.

CHAPTER FOUR

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