Page 57 of The Secret of Pain

"Morning," he rasps, letting go of my waist and taking a step back.

"Thank you for staying last night," I say to him, pretending nothing just happened. I make my way into the kitchen and pour myself a cup of coffee, putting some bread in the toaster, because I can't remember the last time I ate.

"It’s fine, you guys are family, and you needed me whether you wanted to admit it or not. I checked in on him this morning. He's still asleep and he's got a slight fever, but otherwise he's okay. Bauer called; he'll be over in a bit so you can head home for a while."

"Thank you. I've got to head to the bar later to pick my stuff up from there after my Krav Maga class. I can come back after." I smile as I take a sip of my coffee.

Oh, hello, sweet nectar.

"Okay, Colt is on his way home. His trip was extended and he wasn't due for another week, but with everything happening, he cut the trip short."

"Where is that brother of mine?" Nobody has said much about it, but that makes me more suspicious.

"No idea. But it’s got to be pretty far away if it’s taking him a few days to get home."

"Makes sense. I wonder what on earth he's up to."

"Who knows? The Elders obviously have him chasing something down and will likely be furious if he hasn't retrieved it, even under the circumstances. He's got a knack for tracking stuff down, so that would be my best guess." He shrugs and grabs my toast as it pops up. I slather it with butter and groan as I take a bite.

"Something about toast in the morning is just freaking orgasmic." I sigh, before demolishing the rest.

"You need to look after yourself better." Creek eyes me with concern. "When did you eat last?"

"Just now." I roll my eyes at him. "I'm fine. I'm going to check in on Dad and then attack the library. Are you sticking around?"

"No, Dad wants me back at the house. I'm guessing he wants to find out who did this, sooner rather than later, and he isn't going to wait for an official investigation. He has no patience." He runs his hand through his long, dirty-blond hair, gathering it and putting it into a man bun. The look combined with his beard and his ink makes me squirm. Why, oh why, does he have to be so damn hot these days, especially when I already fight the way my body reacts to him?

He smiles like he can read my mind and I stifle a laugh.

Nope. Not today.

"I'll see you later then?" I say as I head back to the stairs.

"Sure, let me know when you're back here and I'll swing by, keep you company again."

"Thanks. Oh, what do you know about that Archer guy?" I ask, and he raises an eyebrow at me.

"Not too much, why?"

"No real reason. Guy gives off major asshole vibes, and something about him seems… off. I don’t have a better explanation but I don't trust him. Plus, he just happens to show up out of the blue with no warning, and then this happens to Dad… I just, I don't know, something doesn't add up to me. It feels wrong."

"Trust your gut, Remy. It's never steered you wrong yet. If you don't trust him, I believe you. I'll speak to my dad about him later, see if I can get any details on his family."

"You're the best." I smile as he reaches the front door.

"I know. Catch you later, Rem." The door closes behind him and I drop my chin to my chest, trying to center myself as his footsteps sound off the porch and crunch across the gravel in the front yard.

If only life were simpler. If there weren't so many strings to unravel, it would be nice to indulge in the feelings between us.

I make my way up the stairs and pop my head around the door to my dad’s room. He's still out cold, but he looks so pale and fragile. I check his pulse, just to settle my nerves then leave him to rest, knowing he wouldn't want me hovering and fussing, even though he nearly died. Stubborn old goat.

I throw on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, then head to the library on the third floor. I used to love this floor as a kid. The entire floor is nothing more than a library and a bathroom. I got lost in here for hours at a time when I was younger, reading about adventurers, slaying dragons, the Fae courts, and people with magical powers. If only little me had known what I do now, she'd have wondered at the magic of it all.

Adult me? I'm just trying to survive the process.

I head to the back corner where Bauer is usually hidden and pull random titles from the shelves. I have no idea where to start, but any knowledge is better than no knowledge. I flip through the pages on some, scanning the contents, trying to trigger something inside of me to remember.

Finally, I pick up an old leather-bound book that feels soft and looks as if it’s been read more than a little bit. Untying the leather strap that keeps it closed, I open it and realize this is a journal. I scan the page, and I realize it’s one of Bauer’s.

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