Page 25 of The Secret of Pain

“I missed this,” he says quietly. “I missed you, us. I just wanted you to know that,” he says softly, and I can’t help but smile at him.

“I might not have completely forgiven you yet for ditching me without a word, but I missed you too. And I’m glad you’re back, that you’ll be with me today.”

“Me too, Remy. I better go, but I’ll be over soon. I’ll text before I leave.”

“Okay, see you soon.” The screen goes black and I sigh. I can only hope that things go back to the way they were with us. God knows, with all this crazy I’m going to need my friend.

I climb out of bed and put the coffee pot on before jumping in the shower, keeping it cold enough to shock me into alertness, because alert is something I am not right now. I pull out my least scandalous underwear and dress. Putting my long hair into a high ponytail so it’s out of the way, I drift back to the coffee machine that is practically calling my name. My phone buzzes on the counter and a quick glance lets me know that Creek is on his way. The anxiety hits me sideways and I sink to the floor, cradling my coffee.

I made the right decision. I know I did.

Right?

I haven’t felt like this in… well, since my mom died. Like my entire body is on fire but turning to ice all at once. Like I can’t take in enough oxygen, and the world gets smaller with every missed breath.

Dropping my mug to the floor, I clutch my arms and hold myself, trying to make it recede. Even just a little. Just enough that I can catch my breath. So I’m not a fucking mess when Creek gets here.

Please God, just let me survive this. It’s not going to be that bad.

It can’t be.

Someone would have told me that much, surely? I know they won’t give me details, but they’d tell me if I was at risk.

Right?

Right?

Fuck my life. I made the right decision. I tell myself this over and over until a knock at the door breaks my train of thought. It opens seconds later and Creek finds me sitting on the floor in my kitchen, hugging my coffee cup. He doesn’t say a word, just comes and sits next to me and puts one arm around my shoulders, hugging me tight. We sit there for a few minutes until I can breathe properly again, and I lean my head on his chest.

“Thank you.”

“Any time. I didn’t realize it still got you like this,” he said, concern lacing his words.

“It hasn’t, not for ages, but I guess with everything that’s been going on, it just crept up on me. I haven’t been running like I usually do, which probably isn’t helping.” I shrug and he squeezes me again before jumping to his feet and helping me up.

“I guess we better get this show on the road,” I say with a sigh.

“I’ll be there every step of the way. And if you need a minute, just signal, like we used to. I got you.”

“Thanks, Creek,” I say and hug him again.

“Always,” he says into my hair before I pull back.

I slip on my chucks and grab my leather jacket and keys. “Let the madness begin.”

* * *

We pull up in front of the ominous looking building and I look to Creek, because surely this isn’t the place.

“Ermmm…”

“I know, it’s weird and it’s creepy, but that’s kinda the whole point. It keeps people away. Prying eyes aren’t exactly what we want around here. Though, if anyone did try, they’d have a hell of a time trying to get through the security.”

The location isn’t exactly helping the anxiety from earlier, but I steel myself, pushing it all the way down and locking it in a box. I will not let it win or defeat me. Not today. I’ve survived worse. Hell, I survived losing Mom, I can survive this. Taking a deep breath, I clear my head and his words sink in.

“There’s security here?” I ask, shocked, because this place looks like a rickety, falling-down hellhole.

Creek laughs at me and shakes his head. “You should have learned by now that when it comes to this new world, nothing is what it seems.”

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