Page 22 of The Secret of Pain

"Ugh, this sucks, why can't I just wake up a total badass?" I groan, and he laughs at me.

"Because that would be far too easy. And a Hunter’s life is anything but easy. That was the first rule you taught me. That this life is hard, but there are so many things that make this life worth the insanity it brings." He stands and smiles down at me, offering me a hand up. "That being said, get your ass up off my floor, you caught your breath, so now we start again."

"Sadist. You're a goddamn sadist," I hiss as I take his hand and he helps pull me to my feet.

"Yes, yes I am. Which is why I'm the best teacher you'll have. Dad doesn't have the patience, Colt would baby you, and Creek, well, he's Creek. It’s why I always train you when I'm about. You're just as much of a sadist as I am, Rem. You'll see." He winks and throws the staff back at me. "Now get yourself into the starting stance. We’re not leaving here until you disarm me or pin me. Time to up your game."

I take the stance he showed me hours ago and prepare myself. Taking deep breaths, I steady my heartbeat and try to focus on the new things I discovered I can do, like the sharper sight, the insane hearing, the ridiculous speed… when I can tap into it anyway.

I hear him take a breath a second before he launches toward me and I do what he asked. I don't think, I just do. I raise the staff as he brings his in an arc over his head and I meet his blow. The force of it shakes my arms, but I just grin at him before pulling back and trying to go offensive rather than the defensive stance I've been in all morning.

He laughs as I parry back, using the movements he taught me, with a flair of my own that when I quiet the voices in my head, comes through. Who would've thought he'd be right? Maybe I should pay more attention to him. I smirk when my offensive makes him take a step or so backward, then a lethal smile graces his face and I see the moment he decides to stop pulling punches.

Apparently, even though he wants me trained, my big brother does not want me to beat his ass, at least not yet. Not that there's much risk of that, but I just know I got too cocky, and now I'm going to hurt. A lot.

Faster than I thought possible, he strikes, and despite my new speed, I have absolutely nothing on Bauer and I end up on my back, winded with the end of his staff grazing my throat.

"Nearly." He winks at me and pulls back the staff. "Definitely an improvement. I could almost see when you stopped overthinking."

I sit up and try to catch my breath again. "This is a severely unfair advantage you have."

"Humbling, isn't it?" He laughs. "Come on. Again."

"Slave driver," I grumble and get to my feet again.

"You're damn straight I am. I told you, we quit when you pin me or disarm me. The rest is up to you."

I almost growl as I drop into my starting stance, holding the staff a little differently to what he showed me, and far more comfortably. "Bring it, asshole."

He laughs at me, and for a second, I think I've bitten off more than I can chew, but I see him feint right as I drop and swipe at his ankles with my staff. He jumps backward before I can make contact, but the hesitation is enough that I have time to catch him with a blow to his ribs, dropping him to one knee. I lunge again, hoping to win, just once, but I should have known better. I jump into the air but get pushed backward by a powerful force and fly into the padded wall before sliding down onto my ass.

"Don't get so cocky, Remy. Cold and calculating is what will keep you alive in this world of ours. Cocky and hotheaded will get you dead real quick. You had a dozen other ways you could have attacked but you chose to try and showboat. This is not a competition; this is life or death. Yours, mine, our family’s, Fates, every family alive." His voice shakes, and I'm not sure if it's anger, disappointment, or adrenaline, but regardless, I'm flooded with guilt and shame. He's right. I just wanted to win, to make it stop. I wasn't thinking about anything else, and considering what was at stake, I was being a foolish child about it.

Maybe I would be better off not knowing all of this, but I’ve made my choice, and I'm going to embrace it if it’s the last damned thing I ever do.

* * *

After the hardest and most thrilling workout of my entire life, I’m sprawled out on the floor in Bauer’s basement, trying to figure out what my new life is going to look like. How it’s even going to work. I'm going to need a new job, because God knows that working in a bar every night probably isn't going to work, and my excuse of being sick isn't going to last much longer either before they decide to fire my ass.

Bauer left me to my aches, pains, and musings about twenty minutes ago after Colt called. I didn't bother asking what it was about because the look on Bauer’s face was enough to shut my mouth. My eldest brother isn't exactly the most talkative of people on a good day, though knowing what I know now, it makes a lot more sense. He's way older than me, which means he's had to tread carefully with his words around us all for a while. I can't even imagine how hard that must have been, how alone he must have felt being the only one. I know he had Dad, Maddie, and Nate, but when we were younger, Bauer, Colt, Creek, Fallon and I were almost inseparable. Then Bauer grew up and left the four of us to it, which meant that Colt and I were thick as thieves even at home, with Bauer on the outside.

My heart hurts a little for him and how lonely that must have been. Though, I have no idea if there are other Hunters around here, people his own age for him to train with, to talk about stuff with. I can't imagine having found all this out and not having everyone I love around me to help me deal with it, even if I didn't want their help to start with. I’m beginning to think the time he spent at college wasn’t actually at college… Just another excuse, especially since he supposedly dropped out halfway through his second year, deciding it wasn’t for him.

Yep, that would make much more sense… Goddamn all of these family secrets.

"There she is, badass extraordinaire. Bauer beat you bloody yet?" Colt’s voice rings out across the room, laughing as he descends the stairs into the basement.

"Not quite," I call out, not moving. The floorboards creak as his steps move closer, and then his face is looking down at me with a wicked glint in his eye.

"Maybe you should train with me instead. I learned a whole host of new tricks traveling to the other side of the world, you know." He holds out a hand to pull me up, which I take and stand on my aching legs.

"Don't be ridiculous," Bauer’s voice joins us. "You know as well as I do that when she has her memories back, she'll kick both our asses all over the place, at the same goddamn time. She's trained with the best of the best in every fucking life. Always learning something new to put us in our place. Don't give her reason to break you when she's back to her old self." Colt laughs at his words and shrugs.

"You're not wrong. I swear my arm still aches from—"

"Colt, shut up!" Bauer rolls his eyes, and Colt looks at me guiltily.

"Sorry, I just got caught up. Don't want to break you."

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