Page 94 of The Secret of Pain

“Colt,” I start, but he shakes his head.

“How could you, Remy?” he says, his voice thick.

“If I could just explain,” I cry, but he, too, turns away from me and joins the others. Marie reaches down to me and wipes the tears from my face.

“Don’t let them see your pain. You own your choices, whatever they are.” She looks at me, straight in the eyes, and I realize that she knows. Fallon looks guilty behind her, but I do not care. Not anymore.

“They will kill me,” I tell her but take her hand and stand.

“There is more at play here than you know,” she says, and Fallon’s eyes go wide.

“What did you see?” she asks quietly, but Marie shakes her head. Creek approaches me, shackles in hand, and it breaks me.

“I am sorry, Remy. I tried to reason with them,” he says, devastated.

“Don’t. Keep it to yourself. All of it. There is no reason for you to be locked away alongside me,” I beg him, and he shakes his head.

“No, Remy. I can’t let them do this to you. Not when I knew, and I supported you. I can’t let you carry this alone.”

“You can and you will,” Marie says in a hushed whisper. “This is her journey; you must support her in other ways. You cannot help her if you are locked away.” Creek looks at her and she nods. I put my hands out in front of me and let him shackle my wrists and then my ankles.

“I love you,” he whispers, with shining eyes.

“I love you too. Always.”

CHAPTER THIRTY

I walk into the room I’ve only been in once before, devoid of emotion. The chamber of the Elders. The same place my ritual took place, except this time I am not looked at with honor and respect. This time I am looked at with distrust and fury.

I should feel something, anything, but instead, I’m numb. They have kept me here for two weeks, locked in a small room with no light, fed once a day, just enough to keep me going until today. I am covered in dirt and grime from the room, which contained no more than a bucket in the corner to demean me further.

I have not pleaded with them though. There is no point, of that I am positive. If I had hope, maybe it would be different, but instead all I have is knowing.

Knowing that nothing I could say will make a difference.

So I’ve refused to speak until today. But I fear that still they will not listen.

I can feel my father’s disgust more than any of the other gazes on me and while it registers that I should maybe feel shame, I don’t. He doesn’t understand, and I don’t expect him to. He doesn’t know. He couldn’t.

But the other factions are more than these people think of them. They are more than just beasts that don’t understand anything but the joy of the hunt, the kill, the taste of blood. They are more like us than these people could ever know, have ever cared to know.

I feel it inside of me each time Kain looks at me, with each kiss. I feel how much more there is to him. He is more than the head of the Dracul, more than the power that radiates from him. I know it with the way that Roman loves me, the way his need to protect me overrides all other instincts. They are not the beasts my faction makes them out to be.

Creek steps beside me and brushes his hand with mine. I don’t know how I got to be so lucky, to be loved by these men so faithfully that they give me the space to love them all, even if it has been for a short time. I do not regret the decisions I made, in this life or the ones before, to love them. To be blessed with such love is a feeling like no other.

The candles illuminating the room flicker as the door opposite us opens, and the Elders enter the room, their faces hidden by the hoods of their cloaks as they step up on the raised platform before us. A Hunter I do not recognize comes forward and drags me to the middle of the room, my family standing to my left and only Creek behind me in a show of support. The anger and confusion rolls off each of them and it threatens to suffocate me.

“Remington Bennett. You stand before us here, with the witnesses of your kin, standing accused of betrayal of the faction of Hunters. With aiding the escape of one of our deadliest enemies, Kain Michaels, the head of the Dracul. The most dangerous and bloodthirsty of them all. How do you plead?” The Elder’s voice echoes around the stone room, and I shudder.

“Not guilty. He is not who you think he is. If you would just listen…” I try to reason, but I know there is no use when I see their shadowed faces remain beneath their hoods. They do not even lower them, not deeming me worthy of seeing them.

The people in here have been fixed in their ways for centuries. I just wish I knew why. The stories from Kain of how life once was haunt me, but he did not know of the reason for the change, and without all of my memories, I am clueless at how to make a difference. If Ben had survived, things might be different.

“Your words betray you, as you betrayed your faction. Your pleading will do you no good here, girl. To sympathize with our enemies is to be our enemy, and so you will be placed with the same fate we place upon them. The True Death.”

“No,” Creek shouts, but it feels so far away, and I sink to my knees. I knew the consequences of my actions when I made them, but I would do the same thing, time and again. My family, as much as I love them, are wrong. They are blinded by a hate that I have never felt. That I could never feel.

“Your mother would be ashamed of you,” my father spits at me, as Maddie and Nate hold him back. Bauer just stares at me like he doesn’t know me. My big brother, who I had hoped against all odds would have my back when the time came. Bauer, who turned his back on me and told my father what I had done. My heart breaks when I look at my family, all looking at me as if they don’t know who I am. Colt is the only one who looks conflicted. Like he wants to speak out, to help me, but he’s still feeling the betrayal of my actions and stands with those who are against me.

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