Page 9 of The Secret of Pain

Stretching out as I wake up, a smile takes over my face when my dream comes back to me. I feel like I should be fanning myself after that dream and clench my thighs together, unsure whether to be happy or not that Jack isn’t here right now. I’ve never had a sex dream before, but hell yes to my imagination for last night. I know for sure I’ve never seen that guy before, but something about him felt familiar.

The face of my mystery man eludes me and I let out a disappointed mumble. All I really remember is his voice and how he made me feel. I guess that’s why they’re dreams and not reality. I sigh in disappointment and throw the covers off of me before climbing out of bed, despite the clock telling me it’s four in the morning. I throw on my running gear and head out to the kitchen while I braid my hair, where Sushi wraps himself around my legs, demanding his breakfast. I feed the little dictator and scratch behind his ears before I grab a bottle of water and put in my ear buds. I tuck my key into my leggings along with my phone and head out.

After being awake for a little while and having had time to think about my dream, I feel restless. Surely, I shouldn’t be dreaming about someone that isn’t Jack, especially after we just had such a nice weekend away for my birthday. I felt closer to him than I have in a while. I head for the stairs to get an early jumpstart on my workout, running down the stairs as the music blares into my ears before making my way out of my building. The park is only six blocks from here, so I start at a steady pace, trying to clear my head, but all I can think about is the guy in my dream.

He felt so real. Like a memory.

But I know I’ve never met him before. His eyes flash in my mind as I reach the entrance to the park, and I pause, stretching before I continue my run, and search my mind for more. Have I met the man in my dreams? Surely I’d remember.

I shake my head. I’m being ridiculous. It was just a dream. I take off again and run a lap around the park. As I eat up the miles, my mind finally clears and I feel at peace again, less like I betrayed Jack in my sleep. Ridiculous, I know, but it is what it is. Especially since this is the second guy I’ve dreamed about in two weeks that isn’t my fiancé.

The sun begins to rise as I finish my lap, and I decide to stretch out on the green before heading back to my apartment. My phone rings in my pocket and I answer it without looking, trying to calm my breathing.

“Hello?”

“Remy?”

“Morning, Dad, up with the sun still I see?” I tease, and he gently grumbles down the line. My dad’s not the softest of men, but I’ve always been a bit of a daddy’s girl.

“You sound like you’ve been up longer than me. You okay?” His concern filters through his gruffness and makes me smile.

“I’m fine, Daddy. What’s up?”

“I just wanted to make sure everything is okay for today?” he asks, but his voice changes as he speaks and it’s strange, almost as if he’s nervous.

“Of course, when have I ever missed today?” I rub my chest at the pang. Every year, with the exception of last year, what with Colt’s disappearing act, we’ve all gotten together at the house for dinner. Eaten my mom’s favorite meal and remembered her in our own way. The anniversary is hard for all of us, more so because it’s so close to my birthday. That also makes it my engagement anniversary with Jack, but this is something I’ve done forever, and I know he understands that it isn’t going to change.

“Of course not, I just wanted to check, what with Wonder Boy spouting off at dinner the other night.” I sigh, yes, dinner was an excruciating cluster fuck, but I guess I shouldn’t have hoped for anything more.

“Dad, come on. Please don’t.”

“I do not like that boy, Remy. He isn’t right for you.”

“So you and every male in our family keep telling me, but like I keep telling you, it isn’t your decision and he makes me happy.” I hate how much it hurts that my family despises Jack, but I also know how much I love him. My family is so overprotective after my mom, they wouldn’t like anyone I was with.

“Hmmm, we’ll see,” he mutters. “You’ll be over at the normal time?”

“Yes, Dad. Six sharp. When am I ever late?” He laughs, my penchant for being on time is something he says I get from my mom, considering he’s usually running behind. I can completely imagine it.

“Never. I’ll let you go. Be safe, Remy.”

“Always, Dad. Love you.”

“Love you too,” he says before the line disconnects, and I sigh. He never calls to make sure I’m going to this dinner, it’s just a given. He sounded on edge, but this time of year always messes with us all, so I won’t read too much into it. I pick myself up off of the ground and stretch again. I’m going to be sore after sitting down so long, but there’s not much I can do about it now, so I jog home as the sun finishes rising, trying not to let thoughts of my mom crash down over me.

* * *

I pull up to my dad’s house, and it still feels more like home than anywhere else. Yes, I get why most people think it looks creepy as fuck, but that’s part of its charm. The looming darkness, the gothic feel. I used to pretend when I was little that it belonged to an evil queen and I was a trapped princess.

The wind whistles through the trees that line the property as I climb the steps to the porch and let myself in. The house still smells the same as it always has, except the scent of Mom’s favorite meal wafts down the hall from the kitchen. I still, listening to my dad and brothers laughing, probably talking about Mom and her epic clumsiness, the same clumsiness I seem to have inherited. Even if I have been more agile of late.

“You going to come and say hello or keep lurking at the door?” My dad’s voice booms through the hall and I laugh softly, shutting the door. I have no idea how he always knows I’m home, but he always has, always will. Trying to sneak out when I was younger was a total bust, every single time.

The click of my heels echo as I make my way to the kitchen, and I find more faces than usual. Alongside Dad, Colt, and Bauer, are Maddie and Creek, with Creek’s little sister, Nirvana. “Oh, hey, guys. I didn’t expect to see everyone here. Nirvana, you finally home from school for the summer?”

“Yeah, Mom decided I could grace you all with my awesomeness this evening rather than staying at school for another night.” Her voice twinkles, light, as if no darkness has ever touched her. “Dad couldn’t make it, though. He’s away on business again, but I’m far better company.”

I smile at her as she comes at me with open arms. She’s so much younger than all of us, in her junior year, and away at a boarding school for geniuses because her brain amazes everyone.

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