Page 78 of The Secret of Pain

I huff, aware that I’m seeing Roman today. I put him off during the week, but I am nervous about seeing him. Especially since more memories are returning and the thought of seeing him practically makes my ovaries explode. Underneath it all, like a stone in my stomach, though, is my guilt. Because Creek still doesn’t know. His sweet kisses and soft words. Not quite declaring his love for me, but close enough that I know it’s coming. The guilt eats at me, because I know I cannot say it back. Not because I don’t feel it, because I know I do. But because of the others. I slept with Kain after Creek told our families I was his, and I’ve barely been able to look him in the eye since. Until he knows about the others, about everything, I can’t tell him, because I can’t hurt him more than I know I’m already going to.

The fact that I’m going to meet Roman tonight, rather than see Creek again, deepens the pit in my stomach, but I need to find out more.

I will tell Creek, I will. I just need to see what this is with Roman, if he even wants me as his mate in this life. I’ve noticed that I’ve only been with him in two lives. I know one was my sixth with Kain, who found me in the life I was with Roman but kept his distance so as not to dampen my happiness, but I do not know the other. I only know it was a different time. I have no recollection of any others and so, I have to wonder how the pack handles that. How he deals with it. If he even wants that again or if he has moved on to another and is here to tell me that.

Even with his wolf being protective the other night, and the flowers, he’s made no other moves toward me, and so I hang in the balance, waiting for the ax to fall.

He told me he would come and collect me, like a prize, but I swallow that thought. He wasn’t always such an asshole. Sometimes he was sweet, caring. The domineering side of him is always present, but what else could I expect from the Alpha of Alphas? I am just happy that he always seemed to accept that I would not bow to his every whim and hope it is still the same.

Because even if he does not want me, if he has moved on, a piece of him is still mine. While it might make my life easier, a piece of my heart would leave with him.

I throw off the sheets and head to the bathroom, not bothering to dress because I have nowhere to be just yet. I turn on the shower to let it heat and move to the kitchen to start the coffee pot, yawning as I go through the motions.

“As much as I love the view, I’m surprised to find you naked.” I scream as I spin and find Roman sitting in the chair by my window, Sushi in his lap, purring under his hand.

“What the ever-loving fuck are you doing here, and how the hell did you get in?” I refuse to cover myself in my own home, so I let him stare.

“I told you I would collect you, did I not?” He raises his eyebrow, his only movement apart from stroking my traitorous cat. I’m kind of jealous.

“Enjoying stroking my pussy?” I quip, and his eyes darken.

“I suggest you shower quickly and do not test my patience, Remy.” His eyes glow, and I know I’ve pushed his buttons enough.

“Fine, but don’t think this is over. This,” I wave my hand around the room, “is not okay.” He glowers at me but doesn’t say a word as I stomp to the bathroom to prepare for the day.

I take the world’s quickest shower, making sure to keep my hair up and dry, having realized he’d have smelled my arousal. Groaning at the thoughts of missed opportunities, I get my hormones under control, refusing to be led by them, and dress. Thankfully, my waist-length hair sits in natural waves, so after running a quick brush through it, I’m ready for the day, whatever it should bring. I slip a hair tie in my jean pocket just in case.

“Are you about done?”

I spin at his voice and find him standing in the open doorway, filling the space. His arms above him, leaning on the top of the doorway, his muscles bulging. I curse myself for being so easily distracted by him. I’m going to blame it on the dreams, the memories.

“I am glad to see your patience is as lengthy as ever.”

He grins lazily at me, but his look is entirely predatory.

“I’m glad I do not disappoint.”

I stand before him, hands on my hips, refusing to back away, to look away first.

He belts out a laugh and steps back from the doorway allowing me to pass. “Better view back here anyway.”

I roll my eyes at him but grab my boots and begin to put them on. “They’re not going to work, princess.”

I glance at him, and I want to wipe that smug grin from his face, but I’m also not stupid enough to wear the boots just to spite him. “Fine. And don’t call me princess. I wonder, is pissing people off to this extent a skill you were born with or one you learned?”

His eyes flash when he gives me a predatory grin. “I guess you’ll have to stick around long enough to find out, won’t you, princess?”

A bemused sigh escapes me as I flip him the bird, and I swear his chest rumbles, part laugh, part growl.

I remove my boot and grab my Chucks from under the coffee table and slip them on instead, trying to ignore his snickering. “Any chance of telling me where we’re going?”

“Not one. Oh, but you should probably take these.” He reaches into his pocket and throws me a set of keys. “Your car, fully restored.”

“What? How on earth did you manage that so quickly?”

“I am a man of many talents.”

“I don’t know… Thank you, Roman.” I smile softly at him.

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