Page 33 of The Secret of Pain

"Woooooooo!" I cry out and Creek laughs, lifting me up and spinning me around.

"I knew you could do it," he says as he puts me back down, and Colt groans.

"Come on, this is so unfair!" he whines, and I can't help but laugh.

"Better luck next time? It was only one point, who knows, maybe it was a fluke." I wink at him, and my dad and Nate laugh.

"Something like that," my dad says, shaking his head. "Colt, get this shit packed up, we'll meet you inside."

"Come on, man. I'll help you," Creek says to him as I head inside with my dad and Nate, to find a grinning Maddie flitting around the kitchen, setting the table and humming to herself.

"You show them how it’s done?" she asks when she turns and sees us.

"You know she did," Nate says with a wide smile. "Colt was pissed as ever. Poor guy, you'd think after this many years, he'd have accepted it."

"He'll never accept it—he's a Bennett," Bauer says as he appears in the room.

“Did you find anything?” I ask, but Maddie interrupts before he has a chance to respond.

"Enough of that. It can wait until after everyone eats.”

"Yes, ma'am," Bauer says with a smile as she clucks at him, and he takes a seat at the table. I sit down opposite him, in the seat I've sat in all my life, and the others join us as Maddie lays out a feast before us. How she whipped this up while we were outside fucking around astonishes me. Cooking is not a skill of mine. The eggs, ham, cheeses, and pastries make my mouth water as she adds potatoes and other meats too.

"Dig in!" she announces and it’s like feeding time at the zoo. Luckily, I grew up like this, so I'm used to practically fighting for my food, but I guess that's part of the fun of eating like this, with the ones you love.

I stuff my face, despite the donuts earlier, and content sighs and groans ripple around the room as Maddie smiles from her seat.

"I'm glad that you all enjoyed it." She beams. It's so hard to try and imagine her out killing beasts and kicking ass when she's always seemed like such a homebody to me. She excels at the things I know I never will; she's such a mom. That’s something I don't think I'd be that great at, and considering this life, I'm not sure it's something I'd choose.

It hits me then that I don't know if I've ever had children, and I'm not sure that I want to know yet, so I tuck the question away for another time. Maybe once my memories are back, I won't have to ask.

I stand and start to clear the table. Bauer joins me and helps me load the dishwasher while the others all talk around the table.

"So, did you find the mark? Do you know what I means?" I ask quietly, hoping that the others’ conversation will distract them enough from my question.

"I did, but I don't know, there isn't much information about it, or about being Angel-blessed, at least, not that I could find yet. I'll keep looking though."

"Thanks, Bauer. I appreciate it."

"Anything for you, Rem. Now you should probably go rest. It might not feel like it right now, but the ritual takes a lot out of you. The next few days are going to suck." He gives me a sad smile and I worry about how much he's not telling me.

* * *

Bauer wasn't wrong. I went up to my old room yesterday afternoon and fell asleep. The strangest dreams haunted me, and when I woke up this morning I felt like death. Genuine death, and fuck my fucking life. I threw up the minute I stood, so that was fun. So much for the all powerful, kick-ass Remy Bennett my brothers keep going on about. I feel like shit.

After the excitement of all that, I shoved some dry toast down my throat, even passing on coffee, and came back to bed. I've tried to go back to sleep for the last few hours, but I just can't. The headaches that keep assaulting me are devastating. Each time I come out of them, I feel a little different, like I'm a different person, but only kind of. It’s the weirdest sensation. But one upside, I'm remembering things. Like the names of the constellations that make up my birthmarks, or old Angel marks, or whatever the hell it is. I can't remember why I got those specific ones yet, beyond the archer that Creek told me about, but I have the weirdest snippets. I feel so shitty, I haven’t even taken a second to look at my marks. I’ve seen hints over my shoulder, Bauer says it’s growing, so I’m just going to wait till I don’t feel like my eyes are going to fall out of my head by trying to catch a glimpse myself. Especially with everything hitting me like it is right now.

I have memories of moments with people I don't know, like the dreams I was having weeks ago. I know that Kain is someone I've worked with a lot, but I also get the feeling he isn't someone I should mention to my family, but I have no idea why. Instinct tells me to keep my mouth shut though, so that's what I'm going to do. Not everything is meant to be shared, my mom used to tell me that when I was younger, and it’s never made more sense to me than it does now.

I also know that I'm meant to have the sword that Colt tried to give me before. Now that my memories are starting to filter through, I feel like I'm missing a limb without it. I've had the sword forever, it’s been with me through everything. That much I know.

I also remembered about obsidian, how it is a Lycan’s greatest weakness, and that iridium in any form is enough to kill a Dracul, but you're still better off taking their heads. Apparently, my film references are completely wrong, because according to Ben and my newfound memories, sunlight, garlic, holy water, mirrors—all big myths. They don't sparkle either.

Bummer.

They look exactly like humans, except more ethereal; the only difference is the copper ring around the outside of their irises to give them away. Not exactly the most obvious detail but thank the Fates for Hunter eyesight apparently. I don't remember much about Lycans yet, I'm pretty sure that will come, but the Dracul haunted my dreams last night.

“How you feeling, Remy?” Colt pokes his head around the door of my bedroom, letting in a dim light, which still manages to make my eyes water.

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