Page 21 of The Secret of Pain

"What?" She can't know. Dad said humans don't know. Oh shit, did I say something I shouldn't have already? Did someone else tell her? My mind races through every possible probability until she laughs.

"Stop freaking out. Yes, I know what you are. I've known our whole lives. Yes, you can be pissed at me too, Goddess knows Creek was. But yeah, I know your secret. It’s why I’ve been MIA the last few weeks, giving you space. I wanted to be here for you, help you, but Mama had me freaking locked down because this is ‘Hunter business’ and I’m not supposed to interfere. But you called, and Mama wasn’t around, so here I am."

"How the fuck? What the…? I am so fucking confused right now, Fallon." I open and close my mouth a few times, trying to form the right words but nothing comes out, so I take a swig of the whiskey, the burn comforting as my world shifts again.

"So, since it’s a day for revelations, you should probably know, I'm a Witch," she says with a small smile and takes a drink of her own, emptying her glass.

"You're a Witch?" I ask, stunned. How is this even my life right now?

"Surprise!" she says, throwing her hands in the air, making fucking jazz hands, like this isn't a big deal. "But I'm what you guys would call a good Witch. My family has worked with yours since the beginning of our line."

"You mean, everyone else knows? I have so many questions, and yet, no fucking words. Was everyone in my life hiding stuff from me?" I ask, my mind blown. Was I keeping the Hunter stuff from her? Yes, but I'd probably have caved at some point and told her anyway, hoping I could protect her, especially if I am as badass as everyone’s made out so far.. Her being a Witch makes a lot of things make more sense, but holy fucking shit.

"I know, it’s a lot. Especially after everything you've obviously found out in the last few weeks, but we can't reveal ourselves to humans, and if you'd have made the decision to reject your Hunter heritage, you'd have left me behind too when you left with Jack. I couldn't have told you, no matter how many times I've tried. It’s a spell—it binds us from revealing who we are to those who are not of the factions, or those who are unaware or make the choice to not live this life. It sounds more complicated than it is, and I didn't mean to just dump this on you when you have so much going on, but I hated having secrets from you." She smiles sadly at me, and I realize that all of these secrets must have weighed heavily on those around me. They suck for me, but it couldn't have been all fun and games for them either.

"Wow. So, you're a Witch? You can do magic and shit?"

"I can do magic and shit." She laughs, shaking her head. "But there are limits and restrictions on what we can do. There are others, who don't abide by the rules of the coven council, those who fell on the side of the Dracul, and the Lycans, and then there are those who go to whoever pays the most money, who have no respect for the power we wield or its consequences, but yes, I can do magic and shit."

"This is… it’s so cool, and yet, kinda terrifying that I have been blindly walking around blinkered all this time, not having any real idea of what was happening in the world around me."

"I know, but no more blinders for you. Now how about we eat our own weight in this pizza and get stinking drunk to ease your very obvious broken heart and we talk about all of this tomorrow, when the hangover is rife, but I have a little something-something to ease it," she says and winks at me. “Ah the joys of potions, especially now you can know about them. Praise the Goddess for that!”

"That sounds kind of amazing," I say with a small sniffle, thinking about Jack’s face again when I told him we could never work. "It hurts, Fal. I didn't want to hurt him, but how could I make any other choice?"

"I know, sugar, I know. It will get better. Love is the one thing that rules all of us, faction or human, and the matters of the heart are one thing that no spell can heal. But you did the right thing. If the stories I've heard about the fearless Remy Bennett are anything to go by, you might have just turned the tide in the war we're facing."

"There are stories?" I ask, shaking my head, because I have no freaking idea how this is my reality right now.

"There are, but until your memories are back, which is going to take a while, I can't say shit. Sorry."

I shake my head and wave at her nonsense. "It's fine, you're not the first, and you won't be the last, I'm sure. I don't understand it all, but I am so glad that you know and I have someone other than the guys to speak to, because everything, all of it, is just so freaking much!"

"Oh, I know, and you don't know the half of it yet. Now, how about we put on Dear John, stuff ourselves with this pizza, and pity party, right?" She laughs and takes a giant bite from the pizza slice in her hand. I laugh back at her, and I know I made the right choice in asking her over. There is no one quite like your best friend to help heal a broken heart.

CHAPTER NINE

“Remy, for fuck’s sake. This isn’t hard, you just need to relax.” Bauer huffs as I bend over, trying to catch my breath. Eight hours I’ve been at his place, which I’m now renaming, because this place isn’t his house, it’s fucking hell. “Just because this is easy for you, you jerk. You’ve been doing this for a lot longer than I have,” I pant.

“Actually, no. You’ve had more lives than I have; you’ve done this a hell of a lot more than me. You just need to give in to it. Your instincts will kick in if you let them, if you stop with the overthinking!”

I glare at him and drop to the floor.

“I don’t know how to do that, Bauer. I get it, you’re frustrated, but guess what? Me fucking too. This, all of it, might not be weird to you, but you have your memories back, you’ve had years to adjust to it all. I’ve had a few freaking weeks, and I still have none of my memories. Except for fragments that are either dreams or memories, but I’ll be fucked if I know the difference at this point. But this, the fighting, this is all new to me right now. You can’t treat me like some honed warrior, even if I was before, because that’s not who I am right now.” I raise my head and stare at the ceiling of his basement torture chamber and try to even out my breathing.

I know I’m a dancer and might run most days, even if I’ve been slacking a bit lately, but this kind of training, this is a whole new world. Circuits, skipping, cardio, and that was his goddamn warm up. Then he gave me the stupid wooden staff I threw to the floor a few minutes ago and attacked me. Hoping my instincts would just kick in. When it was obvious it wasn’t happening, we tried all sorts of combinations, and while I’m better than I was when we started, I’m not learning as quickly as he hoped.

As in, I’m not an instant fucking badass.

The urge to roll my eyes is real at his obvious disappointment.

“Remy, I never expected you to be who you’ve always been. I don’t know what I expected.” He runs a hand down his face before sitting opposite me on the floor.

“It’s weird. I’m always the eldest, and yet, you taught me most of what I know. Where you’ve had, like, twelve lives, I’m on my sixth. You are the best of us, at least any of us that I’ve ever met, and you’ve always just picked up where you left off. I can’t say much more than that, because it could still be dangerous, but something feels different this time. You’re different.”

“Of course I am, jackass. I had a whole life that I just blew up so that I could be this person. From what Maddie said, that’s unusual. But this life has shaped me. Losing Mom changed me. I don’t know if we lost her this early in other lives yet, so I can’t say for sure. I will get there, I’m positive, once my memories are back, but for now, treat me like an absolute moron with this stuff. Please, I freaking beg you. Eight-hour workouts are not usually my life.” I laugh and lie back on the mats covering the ground.

"Oh, believe me, I can see that, and despite the ritual not happening for another few weeks, you'll thank me for this beforehand. Your body is already starting to change, the Angel blood is awakening, you're stronger, faster, more lethal. Honing your skills, even with just the basics before the memories come back will be good. It means that when you remember how to do what you used to do, your body won't be working against you. Unfortunately, muscle memory isn't something that carries over. Just the knowledge, so you still need to train."

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