Page 2 of The Secret of Pain

“I will, as long as you both promise not to talk shit about Jack on the drive home. It’s three hours to the airport. I can’t deal with your bullshit for that long.”

“Fine… but you really need to dump the douchebag. I know Creek made his opinion clear before he left, and from what Dad and Bauer said, the guy’s a real tool.”

“Seriously, Colt? Give me a break. You met him once, for about ten seconds, before you disappeared halfway across the world. Maybe when you spend some time with him, you’ll see what I see. You’ll see how much he loves me.”

“That man loves numbers and facts. He’s a fucking robot.”

“There is nothing wrong with wanting to be sure about things, Colt! We can’t all be as spontaneous as you. Some of us want to make calculated decisions. Like mine to move to pre-med next year instead of dance. It’s a better life choice. I’m still going to dance, but just for fun.” I wince, knowing that he’s not going to like what I just told him, but better to break the news when he’s on the phone. A thud makes me pull the phone from my ear and laugh. “Stupid fucking phone, stupid fucking slippery bastard case. I hope the screen isn’t smashed,” he mutters, followed by a spatter of cursing before the fumbling noise of him picking the phone back up.

“Baby sister, you have danced your entire life. One year engaged to the biggest douchebag on Earth—because who the fuck proposes on the anniversary of your mom’s death, by the way—one year, and your entire fucking plan has changed. This is bullshit and you know it!” he shouts, and Creek’s voice calls out in the background.

My heart stutters at the sound, and I shake my head. Stupid, traitorous heart. That door closed a long time ago, and it’s never going to open again. I love Jack, and he loves me. He’d never leave me the way my family has.

“A lot can change in twenty-one months, Colt. You’ve been gone a long time. Maybe you don’t know me as well as you used to. I’m going to go. I have a big night planned, and I need to sort shit out.”

“Don’t lie to me, Remy. You have a night with the new episodes of that cop series you’re obsessed with planned. I’m still addicted and it’s all your fault, so I know exactly what your night consists of.” I stick my tongue out at him even though he can’t see it.

“Fine, I have a date with the boys in blue, but, still, I’m done having this argument. Text me the details of your flight and I’ll get you both from the airport. Okay?”

“Okay, but this isn’t over, Remy.”

“If you say so, Colt.” I sound as frustrated as he does, but I really am over this whole thing with him. We’ve done nothing but argue the last few times we’ve spoken. I miss my brother. Don't get me wrong, we’ve always fought, but lately it feels like all he’s done is judge my decisions because it’s not what he wants for me. I understand that he’s concerned, that he wants what’s best for me, I just wish he’d trust that I know myself. That I know what I’m doing. I might be his little sister, but that doesn’t mean I need protecting in every instance of my life. The microwave beeps at me, reminding me that I put food in and I grab the mac and cheese, doing a little happy dance at the gooey goodness.

“I love you, baby sis. Always have, always will. I know you don’t believe me yet, but I have your best interests at heart, and that guy isn’t right for you. I’ll text you later.”

“Love you too,” I say and hang up the phone.

* * *

“Babe, look at this place, imagine waking up on your twenty-first birthday with this view. We should celebrate every chance we get. Life is all about the memories, right?” Jack thrusts his iPad screen in front of my face as I’m trying to put on my mascara, and I swallow the frustrated huff that threatens as I smile at him. He’s been so excited about making sure I have the best birthday, and I love him for it, but birthdays are not my favorite thing.

“It looks amazing, like paradise,” I admit as I look at the sea cottage. I’ve never even been on a plane, but this place really does look like paradise, even if it is a day’s flight away.

“What better way to celebrate than just you and me and our own piece of paradise, away from everyone and everything?” he asks as he wraps his arms around my waist and kisses my neck. I sigh contentedly and sink into his embrace, shaking off the stress of starting a new year at college.

“It will be the perfect break before the chaos begins. My residency. The wedding planning. It’s exactly what we need.”

He kisses me again and squeezes me.

“My treat for your birthday,” he tags on the end, and I try not to roll my eyes. Jack is a trust-fund baby, and after growing up the way I did, it makes me a little uncomfortable when he throws his money around, but this is my birthday I suppose, and he’s right, time is precious. We should make all the memories we can.

“Plus, the anniversary of when we got together is the day after your birthday, we could try and make a proper vacation out of it. Think of all the things we could knock off your bucket list. Skydiving, swimming with turtles, cave diving, zip lining through the jungle. We could have so much fun before adulting and life becomes a heavy reality for us both.”

“It sounds like heaven, but, remember, we’ll need to have dinner with my family too. Colt and Creek are coming back.”

“How could I forget?” He releases me and turns me so I’m looking at him, the frown on his face hurting my heart. “Your dad and brothers hate me; I can’t wait for us to move away from your oddball family after the wedding. Don’t even get me started on your so-called best friend.”

“Hey, they’re not that bad,” I counter, but we’ve had this conversation more times than I can count. My family aren’t exactly The Brady Bunch, but they’re good people. “And they don’t hate you, they’re just very protective of me. I’m the baby, it’s just the way they are.”

“If you say so, babe, but I don’t want our kids growing up the way you did, with the weird survival bullshit. It's bat shit crazy.”

I smile at him, I know he’s not a fan of my family, but I don’t want to argue with him. Not today.

“I know you don’t, it’s part of why we’re moving, remember? Now, let’s look at this trip some more before I have to get to work, and you should get to the hospital too. You don’t want to be late for rounds.”

“I’ve got time, how about we celebrate today being a great day again?” I laugh as he picks me up, my legs wrapping around his waist instinctively as he lowers his lips to mine. He kisses me until I’m breathless and I forget about anything but him.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you,” he whispers into my ear before he rolls us so that I’m straddling him. I kiss him again, and as I feel him harden beneath me, I groan. My phone rings and he grumbles, “I swear if that is your fucking brother. Cock block,” as he sets me back on the floor. I dig my cell out of my pocket and see my favorite person’s name on the screen.

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