Page 15 of The Secret of Pain

“It’s complicated, and doesn’t make complete sense to me, so I doubt I’m saying any of this properly. Your mom was always much better at explaining it, but this is what we do. Live the path laid out for us by the Fates and don’t ask questions. What we do, it’s in our blood, it’s a part of us. If you get your memories back, you’ll see that. You’ll see that we work toward a bigger goal than personal wants and needs. It is about protecting those around us who have no idea how to protect themselves. To rid the earth of the plague of monsters. The filth that see fit to ruin our world. Once you remember, you will see. You will know what it is to belong to something greater than yourself. To work toward the greater good. To never waver in that belief. Just as you always have.”

“Will I remember everything?”

“Maybe, each person is different each time they are reborn. Some remember everything, though it’s rare, mainly we remember snippets, strong memories, the ones that matter. Our bodies, somehow, seem to remember better than our minds. If you move forward, you’ll start your training, and we’ll arrange your ritual, but it will come to you quicker than you can imagine. You’ve always been a quick study, putting your brothers to shame. The rivalry sometimes has been the cause of the biggest headaches of my existence, but no matter what, we always follow the rules of the Hunters. Rule one, don’t reveal what you are to the humans. Rule two, don’t kill humans. Rule three, never fraternize with the enemy. Some soft-hearted fools in history have dared to love the filth. Defile our purity with the animals. We stick to our kind. The only gray area is the Witches, but that’s for another day.”

“I feel like I know so much more, but nothing new all at the same time here, Dad. I don’t know what to do. I don’t think I'm strong enough for the path you all want me to choose. Maybe I was before, in those past lives, but who I am right now… I’m not who you want me to be, or at least, I don’t feel like I am or ever will be.” I admit, vulnerability almost crippling me as put the mug down on the floor. Standing, I wrap my arms around myself, trying to not be as exposed as I feel when it seems like I’m disappoint him. “I’m sorry.”

He stares out into the tree line, not looking at me once. He’s silent for a few minutes and I want the ground to open up and swallow me whole. When he finally looks back at me, I can’t read him at all. “Don’t make your decision yet, you have no idea… If you choose not to go through the awakening ritual to officially become one of us, you have to leave us. You cannot be around us if that is the path you choose, Remy. It is not fair, but it is our way. And if you don’t leave, we will, and you will not find us.”

My heart feels like it’s been pulled from my chest at his words, and I’m almost breathless as I try to register what he’s saying.

“How? How could you leave me like that?”

“You would have made your choice, Remy. It is our way.”

* * *

I fall onto my couch and close my eyes. This day… I literally can’t even. I don’t want to think about it. So much has happened, when I already had enough to contemplate as it was.

No. I will not wallow. What I need is a bubble bath!

I head to my bathroom and turn on the taps, pouring in a generous amount of bubbles. Lavender and lily smell so pretty. I head to the kitchen cabinet to pour a glass of whiskey and pick the paperback up from the coffee table where I left it weeks ago. Back before my life went to shit and reading about Fae royalty was an escape from my mundane world.

A knock at the door halts my steps and I let out a breath. This had better not be someone coming to talk to me about all of this crazy.

I unlock and open the door, coming face-to-face with some poor guy buckling under the weight of the box he’s carrying.

“Miss Bennett?” he asks, sweat rolling down his face.

“That’s me, please, pop it on the counter,” I say to him, waving him in.

“Thank you,” he groans as he steps forward, struggling to lift the box, so I help him and place it on the counter. “Can you sign here?”

He passes me the little tablet when I notice his shirt.

Luna’s Flowers.

“These are flowers?” I ask, and he nods.

“Only the best, as requested.” I sign on his tablet and see him out before staring at the box. I open it quickly. No one has ever sent me flowers.

I open the tall box, and find the biggest vase I have ever seen, absolutely stuffed with light purple peonies. My favorites!

“Oh my,” I gasp. They’re so beautiful. I lift the vase from the cardboard, thankful for my limited but extra strength from this ridiculous Hunter business and discard the box before placing the vase back on the counter. The shade of the flowers is just one lighter than my eyes.

I notice the note tucked in the violet ribbon on the vase and reach for it eagerly.

Happy Belated Birthday, Remy.

Sorry they’re late.

I’ll see you soon.

I wonder who they could be from? I check the back of the note and find no name. How bizarre, maybe the shop left it off. I grab my phone from the bathroom, shutting off the cold tap to let the water grow hotter as I like it, and dial Creek.

“You okay, Remy?” he says when he answers.

“Did you send me flowers?”

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