Page 40 of Devour

“Wait just a hot second,” she interrupted. “What do you mean, it doesn’t matter how?”

“Deacon.” I emphasized with a frustrated hand thrown in the air. “Not getting much in the way of firsthand from clergy.”

“Does he even know you’re feeding on him?”

“Oh, he knows,” I said with a rising voice, equal parts annoyed and amused. “And he fucking loves it.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“Very much serious. And he can, like, do this thing to me where I sort of climax from feeding and it’s like ten times better than an orgasm and it keeps me full for a solid week.” I breathed a heavy sigh and, as an afterthought, added, “Less without snacking.”

“Okay… while that certainly sounds interesting, I’m failing to see the pressing issue here,” Gaia said.

“I can’t get him out of my head,” I almost screamed.

“Quit obsessing over your food, for starters.”

“No, Gaia, I literally cannot get him out of my mind. A one-way road has become a two-way street.”

“How?”

“That’s what I came to ask you!”

“You’re fucked.”

“Yeah, I know.” I flopped my head back to stare at the black ceiling. “Don’t get me wrong, it has its advantages. Oddly satisfying advantages. But he has way more practice blocking me out and letting me in at will. I’ve only ever tapped into others and now that I’m on the other end… I can’t get him out of my head,” I repeated with even more emphasis.

“Humans can’t do that.”

“Well, he can,” I snapped.

She raised her hands and shrugged as if the answer were obvious. “All I’m saying is, that’s my meter: can’t get in, not human. That’s how I sussed you out of a crowd the first time we met.”

“Well, that’s just fucking dandy.”

“When are you eating him again?”

“Seven more birthdays. He has one coming up soon, but that still leaves another six years.”

“You’ll survive.” And did she ever look smug while she said it.

“Will I?”

“Basically a cockroach,” she teased.

“Can cockroaches even go insane? Because if I can’t turn it off sometimes, I will lose my mind.”

“Then don’t see him.”

“I’ll probably fucking starve,” I hissed.

“I told you to stop being a glutton. Instead, you went ahead and fed on him so much, you made yourself dependent. Whose fault is that?”

Sigh. Mine. I could do without the I-told-you-so attitude, though.

Gaia’s lips twitched, and she actually began laughing.

“Happy to provide you with some free entertainment, Mother,” I grumbled.

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