Page 34 of Devour

“But he’s—” Garrett fumbled.

“A deacon,” Eli politely reminded the idiot.

“And you’re…” Garrett continued, visibly confused.

“A manwhore,” I not-so-politely said. Someone had to and he wouldn’t. The guy was dense, not crude.

Eli disapproved with a glance in my direction, so I leaned closer and beamed up at him.

“Yes, it was a match made in Heaven,” Eli teased. He followed that with one of his subtle smiles down at me and… so very hot.

“Or hell.” I snickered.

“So, what’s new with you, Rhory?” Asher asked.

Good for him, not thinking anything hateful about me for the first time in quite a few years. From what I could tell, he really liked his current boyfriend. A lot. So much so, he got over Eli. About friggin’ time.

In response to his question, I shrugged. On the outside, I was sure it seemed I led a thrilling life. Not so much. I didn’t need to sleep that much, so I had tons of time to kill in comparison. And I didn’t need to buy food or pay medical bills or even put gas in a car. All I needed, and all I spent my time doing, was getting full.

Occasionally, I took on menial work for petty cash. Not an actual job that required identification or a social security number because all I had were fake documents with fake names. Hell, even updating forgeries could be such a chore. These days I only bothered with a fake ID, which I used to get into bars or nightclubs and not much else.

I would much rather work under the table, on an as-needed basis for cash in hand, than follow a schedule or have commitments. Even something like being a cam boy, which should be easy money for me, required way too much hustle. I was too lazy for anything that felt like actual work. Living for thousands of years could be enough of a job. Constantly having to relearn everything to match the pace of change, or evolve to suit the times, already took more out of me than I liked. A bit pathetic, truthfully.

The waiter saved me from having to speak any more by arriving for our drink order. Everyone else decided now would be the best time to look at the menu and decide what to order for food once he returned. Everyone but me, because… I wasn’t wasting my money.

“Are you not ordering, Rhory?” Garrett asked while passing out menus from the stand on the table beside him.

“Nah,” I agreed.

“You should get something,” Eli said without looking up from his menu.

“You buying, hubs?”

“You know I am.” Another subtle smile. So hot.

“I’m going to make you regret it, hubby.” I opened my menu and went right to the seafood section. Even if I didn’t need food, I could enjoy the taste. Hopefully, this place had lobster. Heh, heh.

Meanwhile, I could smell Garrett’s nerve endings fry while his last remaining brain cell wept from solitude. Well, not really. Trying to paint a picture here of how he reacted to me interacting with my hubby. He was going to ask, though. Dude couldn’t help himself.

“Did… did you just call him your…?” Garrett fumbled again.

“Back off my husband and get your own,” I muttered while still staring down at my menu. See that? Hubby wasn’t the only one who could act outwardly unamused and inwardly entertained.

Even though I assumed Eli would disapprove, he mentally snickered. Now that’s the hubby I loved to see.

Em actually verbally laughed, either from my comment, her fiancé’s sheer confusion, or something else entirely. This entire dinner had been laughable thus far.

“Rhory strong-armed Eli into a marriage pact while they were drunk. Too many shots on Ash’s twenty-first birthday,” Em explained.

“Thirty-five and you’re mine,” I said to him with a wide grin. Eli rolled his eyes.

“Oh.” Garrett was thinking a whole lot more than that but might have learned to keep his trap shut, finally.

“Started as a joke and the nickname stuck,” Eli agreed with a sigh. “But neither of us will beat you all down the aisle. We’ll probably be single forever.”

Eli continued to do an outstanding job of appearing terribly bored by this conversation, even after I pouted at him.

Stop it. You know how I feel about you.