Page 50 of Sassy Bennett Doesn't Do Romance

“Sassy is right. I better get back to stocking up before the rush hour hits.” He bends down to lift the box again and my mum sighs.

“Stop ogling him,” I hiss at her. I’ve lived with this behaviour my entire life. Whenever I bought a boy from school home, mum would start acting like a cougar, walking around the house in flimsy robes and asking them to do helpful, manly chores for her. She loved playing the damsel in distress and my friends, driven by teenage hormones, were delighted to have the attention of a hot, older woman. When I got my first serious boyfriend, I made the mistake of bringing him home. A few months later, she fucked him.

“I’m not ogling him.” She huffs. “I’m in a great relationship, actually.”

I cross my arms over my chest and raise an eyebrow at her. Mum’s always in a ‘great relationship’. Until she’s not.

“His name is Tony, and he’s divine. He has a holiday house about an hour north of here. We’re on our way there.”

“Where is he then?” I ask archly, trying to ignore the pang of disappointment that she has all but admitted it isn’t by choice that she’s seeing me. It was pure coincidence.

“He’s taken the car to the garage. That’s why we stopped here. It’s like serendipity that we got a flat tyre in the very town that you live in!” She claps her hands together, delighted at this funny little turn of events. I wonder, if she didn’t get a flat tyre, would she have driven right on through town without stopping?

“Well, anyway, I’m good. Thanks for asking.” I’m finding it hard to cover up the fact that I’m pissed with her.

“Oh Sassy, always so dramatic. Don’t be like that, I haven’t had a chance to ask how you are yet!”

I wait to see if she is going to, in fact, ask how I am. When I realise she isn’t, I shake it off. It’s not important, anyway.

“I think Tony might ask me to marry him.” Mum blurts out, leaning across the counter with a girlish giggle.

“Oh Mum,” I sigh. As much as I’m annoyed at her for not asking me a single question about my life after not seeing me for a year, I can’t help but feel half sorry for her to be headed down this well-beaten path again. There’s always been a stream of men, each one more perfect than the last. All on the brink of proposing, according to her. And then something happens, and they run a mile. Usually, that ‘something’ is Mum making it obvious she’s planning a big wedding and they freak out. When I still lived with her, she never failed to blame me for the breakdown of her relationships.

“What?” she asks, her face falling slightly at my lack of excitement for her.

“It’s just…” I falter, my voice softening. “Are you sure about this one?”

“Sassy,” She reaches across the counter and grabs both of my hands earnestly. I look down at her fingers wrapped around mine and feel weird. It’s the most physical contact we’ve had in years. “I’ve never been more sure. Just wait until you meet him. You’ll love him. And you’ll love his daughter. Marnie’s nineteen, like you! She lives with us. She’s a delight.”

I open my mouth to say something, then close it again. The pang from her words hurts too much for me to speak. She doesn’t even know my fucking age.

“I’m twenty-two…” I go to tell her, but a loud ringtone interrupts me, and Mum starts rummaging through her handbag.

“It’s him,” she tells me, her eyes shining. “I have to go love, I’ll catch up with you soon, okay?”

She turns towards the door.

“Mum, wait!” She stops and looks back at me, a hint of irritation crossing her face. “Can we at least see each other properly while you’re here? Have dinner or something?”

“Um,” she looks down at her phone, which is still ringing loudly in her hand. “That sounds nice. I’ll ask Tony what he thinks and get back to you. Bye!”

I watch her leave the shop, holding the phone up to her ear, the door swinging closed behind her. A familiar weight settles over my chest. Colt approaches me, concern creasing his brow.

“So, that’s your mum, huh?”

I exhale slowly and then turn to him. “Let’s go out tonight. It’s two-for-one drinks at Banner’s tonight.”

“Didn’t you just make dinner plans with your mum?”

I laugh, but it’s forced, and it comes out sounding like a growl. “No. This is what my mum does. She pretends she’s interested in catching up and then she just ghosts me. I won’t see her again for another year.”

“No way,” Colt frowns. “She’s in town. Why wouldn’t she catch up with you while she’s here? I’m sure she’ll contact you later.”

“I’ll bet a two-for-one drink she doesn’t,” I challenge, narrowing my eyes at him. “Now, are you coming out with me, or should I call the girls?”

Colt watches my face for a moment.

“Yeah, sure.” He says quietly. “Let’s go out.”

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